Cap'n John's Blog

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pet peeves

Oh! Where to start?! Blogs are really for ranting, we all know that ;)

The problem is if we rant too much nobody actually wants to read our Blog, unless we go so over the top and lose our head that it becomes funny to read but only because now you're laughing at the Blogger, not with him/her. And then those Blogs get kind of sad. Then depressing. And then you stop visiting because it becomes painfully obvious the Blogger is a sad, lonely person with an axe to grind but nobody to grind it upon.

Where was I?

Oh yeah! Wolfgang is keen to know what pisses you off, so head on over to his Blog and have a vent. It's very stress relieving :)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Joss Whedon's "Dr. Horrible"

I've not been here yet, but knowing the genius that is Joss Whedon I'm not sure how he can go wrong.

"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" is only available online for a limited time.

ACT ONE went up on Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO goes up today, Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (the finale) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight (PST? GMT -10?) Sunday July 20th.

After that you may only be able to see them if you're prepared to pay for them. But for now, they're free to view.

I'm not saying Dr. Horrible is the best thing since sliced bread or the next Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is just a PSA for those who might have otherwise missed it, like Liz and I did with Firefly and Serenity.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Andy Dick

He's a strange lad. I've watched his performances and always thought they were a little off, sometimes it seemed like he wasn't really acting.

Then he was on an episode of Trading Spaces and he was a little zany but not overly so. He was obviously having fun but he wasn't getting carried away like "Andy Dick the Comedian".

Now he's gotten himself arrested and booked on suspicion of felony possession of a controlled substance (Xanax aka Alprazolam), misdemeanor sexual battery (he allegedly pulled down the front of a 17-year old girl's tanktop) and misdemeanor possession of marijuana.

Xanax is a drug commonly prescribed to treat acute anxiety and panic attacks.

Common side-effects of Xanax are:
* decreased inhibitions, no fear of danger (increased risk taking behavior)
* depressed mood (with thoughts of suicide or self harm)
* hallucinations, agitation and hostility
* hyperactivity
* speech problems
* unsteadiness and clumsiness, impaired coordination and balance

I don't know about you, but I think those side effects describe "Andy Dick the Comedian" almost to a tee.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Difference in lifestyles

Some people have a house in the Hamptons.

We have a Hamster in our house.

The reason for the expression on JE's face is because there's no "lid" on the upside-down exercise ball, so as Tiny the Hamster runs around like the speed demon her breed is famous for, she's running right across JE's palm. He thought it tickled.

We figured this was a good way for Tiny to get to know JE's scent, without him actually having to cup her in his hands. This way the two of them can get to know each other in relative safety, without the risk of having a Hamster loose in our house.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

A new way of questing

The current questing system in most MMOs goes a little like this:

You walk into town and look around and there's usually a visual clue or a sign, perhaps a golden exclamation mark over certain NPC's heads, which says, "Talk to me! I've got a quest!"

So you talk to these specially marked people, click through the page of dialog, then note the objective. "Kill 10 Rats. Ok. Got it." Then you hit Accept and off you go to kill your 10 Rats.

While this system can be very helpful in reducing your downtime, it's not very immersive.

I'd actually like to see a game where not one person has a sign over their head. I want to mouse over everyone and see a Dialog balloon for every, single NPC. I want to be able to talk to every single person in town, if I choose, and they'll all have something to say to me. Sure, not all of them will have a quest, that's asking a bit too much. Some of them might even just say, "Hi, Cap'n. How's it going? Sorry I can't stop to talk. Got to get these cows milked."

But other NPCs might lead into more detailed dialog, as Gordo mentions on his Blog. And these conversations could allude to a potential quest, or even have the quest giver flat out say he needs your help.

Instead of a "Quest Log", I'd like to see a Notes Log, or Journal, where every conversation you have with someone of note would be summarized and recorded. A farmer milking cows is not important to warrant a Note, but a drunk whose son was killed by Bandits certainly would be, and this may result in a Note in your Journal along these lines:
"Spoke to Jenkins in Goldshire. He says his son was recently killed by bandits."

There's no blatantly obvious Objective with this Note. No sign of an "Avenge Jenkins' son by killing 10 Bandits" sort of thing. Just a note that you spoke to Jenkins and discovered his son was killed by bandits.

What you do with the information you get from Jenkins is entirely up to you. But now that you have that Note in your Journal, speaking to Farmer Jed might elicit more than just "Can't stop. Cows to milk."

Farmer Jed now says, "I saw you talkin' to Jenkins earlier. Damn shame about his boy, damn shame. He was a good lad. Blast those bandits, and blast them good fer nothin' Stormwind soldiers. We told 'em them bandits was gettin' bolder. Even told 'em they was camped out by the Fargodeep Mine. They didn't do nothin'. They just hang out at the Northshire Abbey, drinkin' the wine. Bah! Look at the time! These cows won't milk themselves! Excuse me, Cap'n."

Again, no blatant quest objective. No Accept or Decline button. Just an option to say Goodbye and end the conversation.

But if you look in your Journal you'll see the Note for Jenkins has been updated:
"Spoke to Jenkins, in Goldshire, whose son was killed by bandits.
Farmer Jed says the Bandit camp is near the Fargodeep Mine."

Still no objective. Still no "Kill 10 Bandits" quest. But just a little bit of reading comprehension tells you that maybe you should check out the Fargodeep Mine, so you do. If you're not sure where the Fargodeep Mine is, now that Jed's mentioned it, if you talked to him again or to one of the other townsfolk you'll have the option to ask about the Mine and get directions.

So you make your way to the Mine and there are the Bandits and they're naturally not too happy to see you. Several of them attack you but you successfully defend yourself and dispatch all but one of them. As the last Bandit's health gets to 10% (just as an example, it could be when the second-to-last Bandit is killed) your Auto-Attack turns off and the Bandit becomes immune to your attacks. He also stops attacking you (phew!) and instead of an "Attack" icon when you mouse over him you get a Dialog box.

A Dialog box?

So you click and Talk to the Bandit.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Please don't kill me!"

Had you been out here just grinding on the Bandits and not spoken to Jenkins, this wouldn't have happened, instead the Bandits would have all fought to the death. But you've got a Note in your Journal that you spoke to Jenkins, so this scene plays out instead. If you were grouped with someone doing this quest, and you'd spoken to Jenkins but they had not, this scene would have still played out.

"Please don't kill me!" says the Bandit, and the Dialog box provides you with two choices: Interrogate the Bandit, or Finish him!

Clicking "Finish him" puts you back into Combat where the Bandit is quickly dispatched. Searching his body you find An Interesting Dagger, which if you examine will discover it has the letter J carved into the hilt. Checking your Journal you see the reference to Jenkins and the Bandits has again been updated. Now it states that you encountered and slew several Bandits at the Fargodeep Mine, and you found an interesting dagger with a J on the hilt. If you return to old man Jenkins and talk to him you'll have the option to show him the Interesting Dagger. Doing so will "complete" the quest you didn't realize you were on, rewarding you with some XP and the Dagger, which Jenkins returns to you. Spoils of war and all that.

"Now if you'll excuse me," old man Jenkins says, "I'd like to be left alone. Goodbye."

And your Journal gets updated in a manner which shows that this particular story has been completed.

That's if you go the blood thirsty "Show No Mercy!" route.

Clicking "Interrogate the Bandit", however, opens up more dialog (which I can't be bothered creating) but you basically reveal that you're there because of Jenkins and his dead son. The Bandit confesses that he killed Jenkins' son and says if you spare him, he'll turn himself in. Now you have the choice of killing him, or letting him go. Killing him results in the above situation occurring with you finding the Interesting Dagger, blah blah blah. Sparing his life will result in the Bandit running off towards Town. The next time you're in Town the Stormwind Guard stationed there will tell you that Jenkins' son's killer has turned himself in. He'll offer you a reward, which in the interest of fairness will be a monetary amount equivalent to the vendor value of The Interesting Dagger that you didn't get because you didn't kill the Bandit. This will complete the Interrogation side of the quest you didn't know you were on, or maybe you did ;)

Whenever possible, this is how I'd like quests to be done. No looking around for golden exclamation marks. Just talk to everyone. And if a quest appears vague or lacks information, talk to other people. Some NPCs will have quests, of sorts, and some NPCs will offer additional information to help you complete those quests.

If you're a Skinner or Miner (for example), talking to an Armorer or Weaponsmith might result in a response like "Sorry, Cap'n. I'm a little flustered right now. I've got a big order from the Guard and I'm running low on supplies."

Looking in your Journal you see a note stating the local Armorer (or Weaponsmith) is running low on supplies, and perhaps you can be of assistance.

If you hit the forest now and kill some critters and skin them, or go Mining for Ore, your Journal will get updated to reflect this.
"The Goldshire Armorer is having trouble filling a big order. I've got some animal skins he could use, but I think he'll need more."
So you gather more mats and your Journal updates itself, until it reads:
"The Goldshire Armorer is having trouble filling a big order. I think I've got enough animal skins to help him out."
When you return to him you get the same message, "Big order, low on supplies." but now there's an option to offer him the Skins, and doing so naturally completes the quest.

Sure, some people would still just click through every NPC's Dialog then look in their Journal to see what's there, what needs to be done, etc, but with this system the objectives will not always be clearly spelled out for you. It requires reading comprehension.

A quest system like this would help to promote immersion within your gaming world, and really make you feel a part of what's going on. Unfortunately it may not be that popular, because most of today's Instant Gratification Gamers just want to know what to kill, and how many.

Rats? Okay. 10 of them? Consider it done.

Really. How much fun is that?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Amazing feats

I've done what I consider some pretty amazing stuff in my life.

While chasing down an errant basketball I once hurdled a 4-foot high fence. This is 6" higher than an Olympic Hurdle. The rules of our playground game were who ever got to an out-of-bounds ball first kept it for the throw in. Two other kids beat me to the fence but they stopped and put their hands on top to vault over. Realizing that would slow me down I just leaped. I have no idea how I managed to clear it, but I did, and I got to the ball first.

While walking through a park one spring day I heard the beating of wings and felt movement in the air behind my head. Without even thinking about it I dropped to my knees and the furious magpie passed through the space just recently occupied by my head.

Both of these feats are nothing compared to an event that occurred during one of my karate classes. As a warm-up we used to play a very physical version of basketball, but we weren't allowed to use our hands, not to tackle nor to handle the ball, any other body part was fair game though, which is how I scored one of the few goals ever scored, with a head butt. That impressed everyone in the Dojo and several other people attempted head butt goals but nobody else was ever successful.

That's not the amazing bit though.

During one such game the ball flew so high into the air that it hit the ceiling of the Dojo, which was actually an industrial warehouse leased by our Sensei. I was underneath it at the time and with everyone yelling and Senpai Robbie rushing towards me I quickly headed the ball away to a team mate...but Senpai Robbie kept coming at me, very, very quickly, which confused the hell out of me because I didn't have the ball any more.

I yelled "I don't have the ball!" but Senpai Robbie kept coming.

Then he leaped into the air, straight for me.

I dropped to my knees and ducked my head and with a very graceful leap that can usually only be performed by highly trained ballet dancers or martial artists Senpai Robbie leaped over my head...and caught the fluorescent light that had been knocked loose by the basketball.

He leaped over me and while in mid-air caught a fluorescent light.

Then he landed on the other side of me, still running, and unable to check his momentum in time he literally ran into and up the side of the Dojo wall. Just like they do in the movies he took a couple of steps along the wall before dropping back down onto the floor, all the while holding the fluorescent light in one hand. You don't see them do that in the movies.

I've seen Martial Artists do some amazing things, but it's always something they've practiced many, many times in order to perfect it. I'm not saying what they do is not impressive, it's just it's all rehearsed. Senpai Robbie catching a falling fluorescent light in midair, then running up, across, and down a wall, still holding the fluorescent light; that was amazing.

The Case of the Silent Cell Phone

Xinh's post about the problems her parents (her father in particular) are having with their new cell phones reminded me of an incident at work last week.

One of the ladies was having a problem not hearing her cell phone ring. Her and another coworker had been calling it all morning but it hadn't rung once, so the coworker brought it to me to figure it out.

I went into the Settings and turned up the ring volume, then my coworker tried calling the Silent Cell Phone from her own cell phone.

It didn't ring.

I went back into the Settings. Yes, Ringer Volume was on loud.

I turned on Vibrate.

My coworker called the Silent Cell Phone again, but it remained silent.

I asked my coworker if the call went through, or if it just went straight into voicemail.

She informed me that she'd hung up as soon as she saw the Silent Cell Phone wasn't ringing.

I took the piece of paper on which the owner of the Silent Cell Phone had written down her number, and I called it from my work phone.

I put the call on speaker so we sat there listening to the phone on the other end ring...but the Silent Cell Phone remained silent.

Then the ringing on my phone stopped, and a voice came out of the speaker.

A little old lady's voice.

"Hello?"

I grabbed my phone's receiver. "Hi. Is this 555-1234?"

"Yes," said the little old lady.

"It is? Then I must have been given the wrong number. I'm terribly sorry to have bothered you."

I hung up and looked at my coworker.

She looked at me.

Then we both looked at the slip of paper in my hand with the wrong phone number written on it.

All morning my coworkers had been calling the little old lady at 555-1234, then hanging up on her.

We used the Silent Cell Phone to call my desk phone. My Caller ID showed the number to be 555-1243. I called that number. The Silent Cell Phone was no longer silent.

We then proceeded to call my first coworker all sorts of names.
I think Doofus was one of the nicer ones ;)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Do you know how fast you were going?

Fast enough that it took you 10 years to catch me.

No, I never said that. I'm a smart arse, but I'm not stupid...ok, that's debatable, too ;)

I've been in the U.S. for over 10 years, and in that entire time the only ticket I got was one, single parking ticket...until today :P

The cop cited me under CVC 22350 which I think was a big mistake on his behalf. I've spent most of the day reading up on how to fight my ticket, and from what I've found a 22350 is one of the easier tickets to beat.

I thought I'd heard that the posted speed limit is not a hard & fast limit, and from what I can tell, that's absolutely correct. (*note - This is purely my opinion. I am not a Lawyer and this does not constitute professional legal advice) So just because the officer nabbed you for allegedly doing 51mph in a 35mph zone does not necessarily mean you are guilty of violating CVC 22350. Hell yeah, I'm gonna fight this :D

Of course I may lose...but I'm still gonna fight it!