Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Life ain't half bad

Aussies are kind of funny.

"How's it going, mate?"

"Yeah...not bad. Not too bad."

By which you really mean, things could be better, but they could be worse, too. So yeah, I'm alright.

Life ain't half bad. It sounds negative. It sounds nonsensical. But to an Aussie (and maybe the English), it means, Life is alright.

I never really wrote for you. It was always for me. My dad died. I wrote. I put my feelings down. There were a lot of posts that never got published, but that's because they weren't written for you, they were written for me. Writing was cathartic. I haven't been writing lately, because I haven't needed to, because my life isn't half bad.

I'm doing alright.

I've accepted that I am where I am, and things aren't going to change. We're not moving back to Australia. That was just a pipe dream. The wishful thinking of a boy who missed his home, who hadn't accepted that things change, that life goes on.

Going back home a few times helped. Seeing just how much things had changed since I'd been gone. It helped to see that. To make me fully accept just how much time has passed. Time I spent regretting coming here. Wishing I could go back.

But things change. Places change. People change. I changed, and my hometown changed.

Home wasn't home anymore.

That's because this is my home, here, where MY family is. Not the family that raised me, but the family that I'm raising.

I like my job now. For the first time in many, many years I'm enjoying what I'm doing. My supervisor is probably the toughest boss in my office, but I like her, and I like what I'm doing. I haven't taken anywhere near the sick days that I used to take, and it's not just because I've got a tough boss. I just don't wake up Mondays, or every other day for that matter, thinking, "Fuck. Gotta go to work. Fuck."

I will admit there are a few days where I'll think, "Man, I'd really rather stay home today." But where I would have called in sick, now I kick myself out of bed and force myself to get ready and go to work. I actually had Sick Hours left over last year. Most of what they gave me, in fact. That's a good thing.

I like my job. I like my life. I like where I'm at. And I've embraced my AZNness. Admittedly I'm only half-Asian (on my wife's side ;) but due to a combination of the way I was raised and my own personality and traits, I'm really only white on the outside. I'm not 100% Australian any more, and I'm not 100% American, either. If anything, I'm actually more Asian in a lot of what I do.

And thanks to the Fung Brothers, I've embraced my Asian-ness, which for someone living in the SGV is a pretty important step to being happy with your lot in life. This is my life, and I'm happy with it. I don't need to write anymore, because I'm happy with where I'm at, and where my life is going. I'm not living the Bobalife ;) but I am happy. Wherever you're at, I hope you're happy, too.