Sometimes I surprise (& scare) myself.

While driving home tonight (in separate cars), Liz and I entered the freeway and began merging with the traffic. There being a lot of traffic I figured I'd just get off at the next off-ramp so I pulled back out into what looked like the exit lane and drove down it for a bit. However the exit lane ended long before the off-ramp so I was forced to merged back into the lane I'd just left. I saw Liz's SUV a couple of cars in front of me, and right behind her was a Honda Accord, or some kind of low profile, Japanese wannabe-sports cars favored by street racing Ricers who think they know how to drive.

As I got set to once again merge with the traffic the guy in the Accord (or whatever it was) threw down the gauntlet, and in the way of arsehole drivers the world over (and I am definitely not excluding myself from this group) practically kissed my wife's rear bumper. I kid you not, the guy got his car so close to my wife's car that if they'd been parked, you'd have had a tough time walking between them. My wife would be the first person to tell you that normally I'm a fairly laid-back, easy going guy, and that too often I let people take advantage of me...but I also have a malicious streak and in the case of arsehole drivers, who are very much a weakness of mine, I sometime give in to my urges and just can't help pissing them off.

In the case of our Rice Burner friend I accepted his challenge, and I pulled up alongside his car in a manner that definitely said "Let me IN!!!" To his credit RB did not back down. Then again, why would he? I drive a Ford Focus, hardly an intimidating GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY!!! kind of vehicle, and RB obviously fancied himself as a Topgun driver or he wouldn't have been an arsehole about not wanting to let me in in the first place.

Now if he hadn't been a prick and tried to shut the gate on me in such a glaringly obvious way I might have just pulled in behind him...I might not, but I might have too. It's a moot point now, anyway :D

For several seconds the traffic edged forward and stopped, forward and stopped, forward and stopped, and RB and I sat side-by-side, neither of us refusing to back down. But what RB didn't know was that we were right behind my wife...and she's even more evil than I am >:)

My wife braked and came to a complete stop for a couple of seconds, then she quickly accelerated, opening up a large gap between her and RB. My reactions were a lot quicker and despite having a pitiful 4-cylinder engine (no, it's not the Z-Tec) my Focus leaped forward and into the gap and despite his best (worst?) intentions and aggressive driving, RB found himself behind me, and BOY! Was he mad! His highbeams went on and he started tooting his horn. Not beep-beep-beep, but one, looooong continuous
toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.

Now I've put a t on both the start and the finish of that toot, and that's not correct because RB never let off his horn. All the way down the freeway to the next exit lane he sat behind me with his high beams on and his horn blaring. It didn't bother me. I just flipped that tab on my rearview mirror, the one that changes the angle of your mirror and negates drivers behind you with really bright lights, then I turned my radio up. And I tapped my brakes a bit, even when it wasn't necessary, and I used my handbrake to come to an almost complete stop, which is really nasty because your handbrake doesn't engage your brake lights. I deliberately made RB's life hell. When a car in the lane next to me put on his indicator, I slowed down and let that guy in. Why wouldn't I? The guy was polite and used his indicator, and it's not like I needed to be behind my wife. I just wanted to get in front of RB because he didn't want me there.

Don't go getting on my case. RB deliberately tried to shut me out, then had a temper tantrum when I still got in. I agree, I deliberately escalated a case of Road Rage. You've got a problem with that? This is my Blog and the Internet's a big place; go find someone who cares.

Finally we got to the exit lane and I pulled into it and RB pulled out behind me. He probably thought I was going to do the same thing again, and he either wanted to get in behind me and flash me and tooooooooooooooot me some more, or he wanted to try and cut me off. But I just exited the Freeway like I'd planned to do all along and RB merged back into the traffic. While in the exit lane he passed the car that I'd let in before, which meant he cut in right behind my wife who'd been watching the whole thing in her rearview mirror.

My wife told me that as soon as RB got in behind her she promptly hit her brakes and RB, who'd been driving far too fast and aggressively, apparently almost ran up her arse.

Sometimes I surprise myself. I know I've got a mean streak but I didn't realize I could be such a complete bastard.

I've been in the other lane before. I've had people determined to muscle their way in front of me. Some people I let in, because I know they're coming in and there's no way I can stop them short of running them off the road. Other people think they're coming in but they're not aggressive enough and they back off and go behind. Other times people are very polite about wanting to come in. They make eye contact and use their indicators and I'm more than willing to let them in front of me.

It's like being a pedestrian in China. You make eye contact with the driver of the car and even though it's the norm in China for most pedestrians to yield to vehicles, yes, even in the crosswalk, many drivers would make eye contact with the big Kwai Lo and stop for me. But sometimes I'd make eye contact and it was me who stopped and let the car go through, because I could tell that this driver was quite willing to run me down if I crossed in front of him.

RB was a complete bastard. He saw my car coming down the merge lane and deliberately tried to shut me out. What he didn't realize was that this was one of those rare times where the other guy was not going to back down. RB threw down the gauntlet and I accepted the challenge, then he lost at his own game and had a temper tantrum. A classic case of Road Rage, yes, and a classic example of a sore loser, too.