Communist China?

This is what happens when you let your government oppress you.

First your government takes away your guns.

Then they want to restrict your access to information.

Then they deny you a voice and try to silence their critics.

No, this is not China, folks; I'm sad to report that this is my former homeland. This is what's happening in Australia, right now.

The real post

So the primary reason for going to Australia this time around was to meet Keith, the new man in my mum's life, and to walk her down the aisle when she married him.

Keith & Mum met us at the airport, along with my older sister, Kim. And strangely enough, it didn't seem strange seeing Mum with Keith. Even when they kissed in front of me it didn't seem that odd, even though Keith is not my Dad. I mean when you think about it this is someone who's not my Dad and he's kissing my Mum, but it was a non-issue. Both my kids took to him like he was a long lost uncle (or grandfather ;) and again I didn't have any problems with my kids calling someone not my Dad "Poppy".

During the second week we went out to the cemetery. In cleaning up my old things I'd found my old wooden Emmaus cross so I decided I'd leave that at Jonno's grave while we were out there, it was strangely symbolic because our Emmaus group pretty much died when Jonno did. In fact most of the Emmaus members dropped their crosses on his coffin before he was buried. I've left mine there now, too, just 18 years later. Funny to think that Jonno has almost been dead now for as long as he lived. That's one of those "What ifs?" "What if Jonno hadn't died? What would life have been like now with my best mate still around?" And honestly? I have no idea.

I got a little teary when I saw the plaque on Dad's grave and we put some flowers down there and I knelt down to wipe some grass off that had been sprayed there from a recent mowing and that was when I really broke down and cried. I'll always miss my Dad, but life goes on, too. Life has to go on, because the alternative is not an alternative, it's just a cop out.

Life goes on and now my Mum is married to the new man in her life and I still miss my Dad a hell of a lot, but I'm ok with Mum being married to someone else.

Walking Mum down the aisle was partly tradition, but I also wonder if maybe that decision was also made as therapy for me as well. By walking Mum down the aisle, as I mentioned in a post a while back, I had to confront the fact that my Dad is dead and life is still going on. Well, Dad being dead never entered my mind as I walked Mum down the aisle. In fact it wasn't that hard at all. I was looking Keith in the eye the whole time and smiling at him in an attempt to show that the wedding had my full approval (which probably has something to do with Dad's death), but of course Keith wasn't looking at me, he had nothing but tear-filled eyes for my Mum. Which just made the whole thing easier still, seeing just how much in love with my Mum he was.

Now that they've found each other and made this commitment to each other, I wish my Mum and Keith the longest, happiest & healthiest of lives together.

There and back again

I think I've used that as a title before. Meh.

Carol & Zac drove us down to the City last night (which was actually about 36 hours ago, now), we stopped at Kim & Shaun's place, had our Fish & Chip dinner, and after a tearful farewell Carol & Zac drove us on to the Formule 1 Hotel located a short walk from Tullamarine. We checked in and got two rooms on the third floor, and after discovering the F1 had no elevator were fortunate to be able to relocate to two first floor rooms, considering we had about 8 pieces of luggage between us all (including the in-laws). The in-laws and JE took one room and Liz & I and the bunny took the other. The rooms were very basic but cheap, and given that we really were walking distance from Tullamarine it wasn't a bad choice of hotel, just we had far too much luggage. It's probably an excellent choice for the economically-minded businessman traveling light. After getting settled in to our room I headed over to the airport and "borrowed" a couple of luggage carts, which I parked in our room ready for the next morning. Breakfast was a cheap $6 Continental provided by the F1, but given that breakfast at the nearby McD's would have cost the same (if not more) but with less food, it was the more economical choice. Then we hoofed it over to Tulla.

We checked in about 2 hours before departure time, smooth as silk (unlike LAX) and still got 4 seats together. The in-laws asked about switching to our flight (theirs was going via Aukland) but it would have required spending a few extra (hundred) dollars, so they got to visit New Zealand (Intl. Airport) for a couple of hours. Although they left just 30 minutes later than us, they touched down at LAX over 3 hours later, due to their NZ stopover.

At the wedding reception the previous Saturday, a cousin-in-law mentioned Emirates Airlines as being an extremely comfortable (pampering) airline to fly. Given that a lot of Big Oil probably flies Emirates, that's completely understandable, and from a fatalistic point of view, I honestly can't see Muslim terrorists targeting Emirates Airlines and daring to incur the wrath of their megarich brothers, so it's possibly one of the safest airlines to fly, as well. The CIL said Emirates allegedly provided even better service than Qantas, and he's probably right, I think Qantas' service, while still among the best in the industry, has slipped somewhat during the past few years.

We caught a shuttle home from LAX, a remarkably painless affair. $70 to be delivered to our door, and in a very quick time as traffic was the lightest I've ever seen it. In fact it was downright spooky to see just a handful of cars on the freeways at 8:30am on a Monday morning. Sure, it's Labor Day, an almost nationwide Public Holiday, but still. "It's quiet. Too quiet."

Finally home it still wasn't time to rest. Our bathroom looks awesome with the new shower stall in place of the old bathtub. It's a lot more open now, for a small bathroom. I would have liked the toilet moved into the corner but the plumber said it would have violated a building code by not having enough space between the toilet seat and the walls. Liz freaked out because all the items left on the bathroom counter were covered in dust, but given that the Plumber was a family friend and we barely paid him for the work (we paid for the materials, new toilet, floor tiles, shower stall, etc, but I don't think we paid him) I said we could hardly complain. Liz complained anyway. She likes to complain. Sometimes I don't think she's happy unless she's complaining. Weird, really, coz she's not really happy then, either. Or maybe she is.

While Liz cleaned house I went and cleaned out our Post Office box of two weeks of mail then picked up Anzac, and was happy to hear the girls apparently bring him out for a bit of a walk every day. In fact one of the girls said she usually gives him the run of the office during the day on weekends. It's a good boarding kennel because it's also his vet, and they do grooming as well so we get him bathed before I pick him up.

After dropping Anzac back home I still hadn't finished my errands. The weather report on the plane as we were landing said temperatures of 40C+ and it sure felt like it as I headed back out to get some milk and lunch. I don't like to run the A/C in my car if I can avoid it so I was sweating like a pig by the time I finally got back home.

After lunch we all took a nap (except for JE), and when I got up I emptied the suitcases of my comics and trading cards (watch this space for eBay auctions ;) Over the years I've accumulated more than 6 photocopy boxes full of comics. I have easily 1000+ comics, including quite a few Capt. America comics, which may be worth a small bit now that the Captain has been assassinated...unless "they" bring him back. Did I mention the 1.5 hour nap is all the sleep I've had in the last 24 hours? On the plane trip back I watched FF4:Silver Surfer, The Flying Scotsman, Borat, Ocean's Thirteen, and Blades of Glory. I'm only linking The Flying Scotsman because you should know of the others, but if you like bios (or Billy Boyd ;) it's worth checking out.

So, now we're home and somewhat unpacked, and fighting the ants which have still come in looking for food & water (even though we've been gone for two weeks), and for some reason with just the four of us here...the house seems strangely quiet. Even when we were down in Munro at Keith's place with just the six of us there (Mum & Keith and the four of us), the peace & quiet of slow life in a tiny country town (village, even) didn't seem as quiet as this quiet of our house right now.

It would be nice to move back to Australia, even to settle somewhere in Melbourne, but I can't see that happening unless we win the Lotto, because I'm doing too well here in L.A. to start all over again in Melbourne.

Did I mention it was my birthday while we were there? Being a Rowan Atkinson fan my family got me Mr. Bean's Holiday. No, we never went to the movies. Bean's Holiday was released pretty much everywhere but the U.S. many months ago, so it was already available on DVD in Australia. So while everyone else is watching Bean in the theatres here, I watched it in Australia on DVD, and I have it on the TV here, right now, because the kids love the physical comedy of Mr. Bean as well. In fact The Whole Bean (the complete set of the TV series) always accompanies us and the portable DVD player on long car rides.

Anyway, it's now gone 7pm, so it's time to get the kids some dinner and get them into bed, even though it really doesn't feel that late. That's Jet Lag for you.

And here we go again

We're about 15 hours away from flying back to L.A.

We're currently at my sister's house in Melbourne and in a short while will be heading to a local Fish & Chip shop for our last genuine Australian meal. Sure, you can get Fish & Chips in most countries, but every country has their own version so it's not the same as what you get at home.

The time has gone by so fast and we didn't do anywhere near as much as I would have liked, never visited some of the people I wanted to. There's an old friend I never caught up with, and I regret that.

We get back to LAX Monday morning and I'll be back at work the next day. Two weeks vacation gone by, just like that.

See you all on the east side of the Pond.

So far, so good

We spent the first night in Traralgon and the next morning headed out to Munro where Mum's fiance lives. The kids had a great time there, JE rode Keith's 3-wheeled motorscooter up and down the road out the front of his property while the Bunny took a turn sitting on the ponies out the back (pictures to come). There was numerous wildlife around, deer in the paddock up the road, lots of birds, including some cockatoos that are considering nesting in a tree at the bottom of Keith's backyard. Glenn, Keith's son, took us for a drive in his truck up through the forest, roo spotting, although we only got a good sighting of one wallaby as we rounded one bend and pretty much nothing else. Glenn took us to a couple of graves buried deep within the forest, discovered by the Rangers who have set up a memorial around it. Apparently they belong to mother and her son who were killed in a flood over 150 years ago. They were members of one of the first families to settle in the Gippsland region, and like many early pioneers paid the ultimate price in taming the land for those to follow.

Friday we headed back into Traralgon, briefly, before continuing back on to Melbourne to stay with my older sister and her family. We visited the Melbourne Aquarium, the Zoo, did a spot of shopping in the City, and while waiting for our train at the Southern Cross Station (formerly Spencer St.) got caught in a football crowd getting out of the Essendon Bombers & Western Bulldogs game. It was quite an experience for Liz, standing on the platform surrounded by a sea of people in Red & Black, and Red, White & Blue jumpers, scarves, hats, etc. Of course when the train arrived everyone boarded, so we were packed in and standing up for about half our ride back to my sister's house.

After a few days we headed back down to Traralgon. I drove down with the Bunny taking a nap, while everyone else rode the train down, taking in the sights.

Now Liz's parents are in town as well. The FIL is here sort of looking after the kids, while the MIL is down the street with Liz and my sisters, shopping, getting their hair done, nails, eyebrows, etc., all in preparation for the big day this Saturday.

Almost 20 hours later

and here we are.

The shuttle picked us up around 6:45pm and got us to LAX within 30 minutes, pretty good time, I thought, for a flight scheduled to leave around 11:40pm, 4 hours later. 11:15pm came and we hadn't yet begun boarding the plane, something to do with the Jetway at that gate. Finally the plane was towed out and back in to another gate where we were able to board, but we never made it off the ground. The take-off was aborted and we returned to the gate so an engineer could examine our plane. Over 3 hours later than scheduled we finally took off and were on our way to Australia.

We were met by my older sister, my Mum, and my future stepfather, who took us to my sister's for a lunch we'd been waiting 2 years for. Fish & Chips :)

We relaxed for an hour or so after lunch, then piled in the car and headed out to the Latrobe Valley and Mum's home. Practically a 2 hours drive on top of our 14 1/2 plane ride (not counting the 3+ hours delay). We managed to get a spot of sleep on the plane, but not much more than a couple of hours, so now we are pretty much running on empty, and just trying to hang on to a decent hour to go to bed so our body clocks adjust to Aussie Time.

Allow me to educate you

When you meet an Australian for the first time it is not necessary for you to say "Oh, you're from Australia. Good 'ay, mayte." It is also not necessary to ask if we know your friend or relative from Sydney. Do you know my Uncle from Cleveland. No? Funny that.

G'day is pronounced as I've just typed it. Hard G, followed by Day, as in G-Day. It is not Good 'Ay. If you're not going to make the effort to pronounce it properly, don't even bother trying.

A Koala is not a bear. Like most Aussie mammals it is a marsupial. It may look like a teddy but it's still not a bear. It does not belong to the Bear family. Do not call it a Koala Bear.

An Emu is an E-Mew, not an E-Moo. Importing them doesn't give you the right to change their name. Do cats moo? Do cows mew? See the difference?

When an Aussie (oz-ee not oss-ee) attempts to correct you on the mispronunciation of an Australian word, listen to the man. Your continued mispronunciation only makes you look like a wanker.

Steve Irwin was an actor (and a bit of a galah, see Australian slang term). Most Australians do not dress, talk or act like him. In fact now that he's dead it's a good bet that no Australians act like that. Just because you see four Aussies in loud, colorful shirts dancing around singing children's songs, that doesn't mean we all do it.

At least the Crocs didn't get him.

Crikey, Steve! You're a bloody idiot. But at least the Crocs didn't get ya, hey?

Jumping on the band wagon...NOT!!!

Mel Gibson got a little bit drunk, drove his car a little bit fast, then made a few racist /antisemitic comments. Why do we care? Because he's Mel Gibson! If I did the same thing, would you care? No, but then I'm not Mel Gibson. I'm also not Naveed Afzal Haq.

Mel just made a few inappropriate comments while under the influence, not unlike a lot of people when they get drunk. I know I've done it, if you've been plastered before you probably have too. But Naveed...he did a whole lot more than make a few inappropriate comments. No prizes for guessing who received more attention from the Press though.

Paul Hogan gave an interview a few years back, after he left Australia and traded in his wife of 30+ years for a younger model. Hoges copped a lot of flack from the Aussies over that, and in this one particular interview he said something along the lines of how his actions hadn't changed the way people perceived him. He said he'd always had his knockers (not boobs but detractors & critics) and they'd always been looking for something to hold against him. Those people had never liked him, and his leaving Noelene for Linda was just another reason for them to rag on him. Hoges said his real fans, the people who loved him, they understood that not all marriages last so his leaving Noelene for Linda was no big deal.

Back to Mel Gibson. How do I feel about Mel making antisemitic comments? I don't really care either way. When Liz told me what had happened I shook my head and said "Aah, Mel." and that was it. If you loved Mel before this, you probably still love him, and maybe even feel a little sad for him. If you hated Mel, then this is just more anti-Mel ammunition for you. If you, like me, don't really care either way, you probably still don't care either way. After all, he's only Mel Gibson.

Owned!!!

This cute little fellow is also an Australian. He's called a Huntsman, and just like me, he's good at turning up in the strangest places.



















Liz and I attended a friend's wedding when we were in Australia several years ago and on our drive back home late at night I saw a shadow run across the window of my car, and I knew immediately that it was one of these little guys. So I reached down and made sure my window was wound up, then reached behind me and made sure the back window was wound up, too.

Liz asked what I was doing. I told her there was a Huntsman spider on the car and asked her to make sure her windows were wound up as well. Liz had never seen a Hunstman before, had no idea what they were (other than a spider, as I'd just said) but she humored me and made sure her side windows were wound up, too.

Then she grabbed my leg and I almost ran the car off the road.

Liz thought it was hilarious and said the spider must have come off by now, after all, we're doing 65mph.

With perfect timing the Huntsman chose that moment to run across Liz's window.

Liz didn't think that was quite so funny.