285 Magic TCG cards for $20? SOLD!

A few weeks ago my son and I were in Target with the wife, so while she wandered off to do her thing we stopped by our favorite section (or maybe it's the second favorite, after the video games) of Target, being the Trading Card aisle.

We saw the 2012 Magic: TCG Fat Pack, which comes with two deck boxes, 80 Land cards, and nine 15-card boosters, being 215 cards total for $40! That's a lot of cards for $40 (at $3-$4 each the nine boosters alone are almost worth that) and I was seriously contemplating getting it. Then we saw the 2011 Deck Builder's Tool Kit.

It didn't have any deck boxes (meh), but it did have 100 land cards, another 125 random Spell cards, and four 15-card boosters, for a total of 285 cards. Woah! Even MORE cards! But unlike the Fat Pack it did not have a price sticker.

"It's got to be at least $40," I said to my son, "maybe even $50. Let's see how much it is."

So we picked it up and walked further into the store until we found a price scanner, and when it rang up at $20 we could not believe our eyes. It has a third more cards than the 2012 Fat Pack, but for half the price. Crazy! So of course we bought it. (Yes, it's the 2011 series. So what?)

We didn't get any OMG! Awesome! Foil cards from the Booster packs, but using the strategy recommended by the booklet (and some of our other spare cards) we did throw together five 60-card decks, being 24 Land cards plus 36 Spells, Creatures, etc. to go with them.

And then we Dueled.

I went with a poison-filled Black/Red Deck, while my son chose a Blue/Green Deck with several Elementals and Wyrms. The Wyrms are High cost Creatures but they're hard hitting game changers and when they get into play an unopposed Wyrm can kill you in two-to-three Turns.

So far we've played 7 games with these two Decks and he has been kicking my arse, and when I say he's been kicking my arse I really mean it. Out of those 7 games I've won just 2, and one of those was really just due to the luck of the draw (as in bad luck on his part) where he had a bunch of Green Spells/Creatures in his hand and nothing but Blue Lands. So he couldn't summon much of anything, and whatever he did summon I quickly shut down. I finished that particular game completely unscathed, still at full health.

In the other game I won it seemed like everything finally came together for me. I got the right cards out at the right time, I was able to weaken his stronger Cards, and I didn't steamroll him like he's been doing to me, but it was still a decisive win.

I also thought I might have him in the most recent game we played as I'd used a spell to Destroy his 4/4 Creature (the strongest he had on the table, at the time) and after a pitched battle we had one Creature each in play and mine was the stronger. Yay!

Then he summoned a Wyrm.

On his next Turn he cast Sleep and Tapped my solitary Creature so I couldn't Block even if I wanted to, and on his final Turn used an Instant to return it to my hand. I have to give him credit where it's due, he does know how to use his cards effectively and strategically.

I still think I need to tweak my deck a little though, so I can be more competitive against him. You could say we've Dueled two times, playing four games the first time, and three the second, and I won just 1 game in each of those two sessions.

My Deck's strength appears to be my Black Cards which can Poison (-1/-1, or worse) and debilitate his Creatures, even his 7/7 Wyrms. When it works, it works well. The problem is I don't seem able to get my cards into play fast enough, and when I do I'm overwhelmed.

Could it be a "Rock beats Scissors beats Paper" kind of thing? That my Black/Red Deck is just not strong against his Green/Blue Deck. Does that exist in Magic TCG? I assume it does, else everyone would just try to have THE Uber Pwng Deck that nothing can beat.

I don't have powerful Creatures like his Wyrms, which usually require 6-7 Lands to Summon. Most of my Creatures require 3-4 Lands and some need just 2, or even just 1.

It's not that I don't have Lands in play because we both have the recommended 24 Lands in our Decks.

Actually, maybe I don't have enough Lands.

With a majority of low cost Creatures in my deck maybe I should increase my Land count to 30 cards, with the strategy being to be able to play one Land every Turn (and never stop playing them), meaning after the first, uneventful 5-to-6 Turns have passed I'll be able to Summon more than just one Creature per Turn. That's assuming I have Creatures in my Hand and it's not filled with Lands. That's definitely something to think about.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to crush the boy. He's only 11 and he has a lot of fun playing Magic with his old man. Likewise I'm enjoying the time we spend together, too. (Who knows how long that will last?) It's not even that I mind losing to him; one of my favorite time wasters on my phone is Solitaire, so I can accept losing game after game after game. I don't mind losing to him, but I'd at least like to go down fighting.

The Proof is in the Pudding

After slaughtering 50,000 damage worth of lvl 22-24 Ogres (being approx. 75 Ogres @ 650hp each) in Duskwood's Vul'Gol Ogre Mound, my level 20 Arms Warrior armed with the 2H Reef Axe from Blackfathom Deeps averaged 82.5dps, as seen in the below screenshot. (Yes, I cut & pasted the Recount Window into a second screenshot.)

After repeating the experiment and terrorizing the Ogres a second time, this time as a Fury Warrior but still with the exact same gear, I averaged 94.6dps. As you can see from the second screenshot the passive buff from the Fury Tree's "Precision" skill, being +3% to Hit and +40% to Autoattack, provides a significant boost to my base/white Damage, and definitely helps to explain the almost 15% increase in overall DPS.

I ran Shadowfang Keep as an Arms Warrior in between the two attacks on the Vul'Gol Ogres, and with all of the group buffs and the passive buff from using the Random LFG Tool I managed to pull 100dps, being the same as what I managed on my own as a Fury Warrior.

After respec'ing Fury, traditionally a dual-wield Build, I first equipped two Baron's Scepters and slaughtered a dozen or so Ogres, just to see how well Fury worked when dual-wielding. In short, it didn't. Using what are probably the best two 1H weapons a level 20 Fury Warrior can get my DPS averaged in the mid-70s. It did jump into the low 80s when I got in a string of Crits, but would just as quickly slide back into the mid-70 range when my Gnome went nose-to-kneecap with the Ogres for longer than a few seconds, which as a dual-wielding Fury Warrior it usually did.

In fact fighting the Ogres as a dual-wielding Fury Warrior felt almost exactly like fighting them as an Arms Warrior, with combat usually lasting at least 5-6 seconds. I noticed I missed many attacks, and also got Parried a lot. Even with the combined +4 to Hit buff from wielding two Baron's Scepters, the lower damage output meant I was still in combat for a lot longer than when I equipped the Reef Axe (as Fury). The bonus to Hit from not dual-wielding meant a lot less of my attacks got Parried, and thus a lot more of my attacks landed, and when you're hitting Mobs with the Reef Axe they know they've been HIT!!! As a Fury Warrior wielding the Reef Axe it was not uncommon to rush into combat and lay out an Ogre within 2-3 hits, and with the first three attacks being Victory Rush, Autoattack, and Bloodthirst, those 3 attacks could all land within 2-3 seconds. If even one of them was a Crit it was usually lights out, but if the Ogre was still standing and Execute hadn't lit up I'd throw in a Heroic Strike and that would inevitably get the job done.

The end result from terrorizing the Vul'Gul Ogres is what I've argued all along, that at lower levels Arms is a sub-par DPS build to Fury, and that even if you have two of the best one-handed weapons available for your level you're still better off using a comparable 2H weapon instead of dual-wielding. In my case, 15% better off.

The PUG from Hell that wasn't

Tonight I ran Shadowfang Keep on my Hunter in an attempt to get the mats for the Hunter Quest Crossbow. After waiting a while we finally got a group together, and the Healer turned out to be surprisingly chatty. I don't mind that. Likewise if folks want to do a silent Run, that's okay, too. Get in, get the job done, get the fuck out. As long as everyone knows their role, if folks want to chat, or not, I'm good either way.

Except this particular Healer mentioned she was not only new to WoW but it was her first Instance. Just like that our Group was missing a Tank. We had a Cat Druid who switched to Bear so we went in and took down the Trash. Then the Healer asked why was the Druid a Bear.

"Because if he wasn't a Bear we'd all be dead." I replied.

The queue hadn't found us a Tank so we moved on and the Bear rushed the first Boss. We actually succeeded in bringing him down and despite being new to Healing I thought our newbie Healer did just fine. Just after the Boss died we got a replacement Tank, who was puzzled as to why our DPS Druid was in Bear form. I made the mistake of complimenting our Healer on how good she was doing for a first time Healer, and just like that our replacement Tank went AWOL. Oops.

We moved into the courtyard, cleared it, then wiped in the kitchen. As we ran back in the Healer DC'd, a Kick Vote prompt came up, and now we were three DPS LF Tank & Healer. I declined to choose a role, deciding I'd rather wait for a brand new group. And I imitated our first two Tanks by dropping out.

Rather than sit on my arse in Stormwind I got out and ran a few quests and it didn't take long before I was in a new group. This time we had a female Dwarf who, like our Healer, confessed that she was new to Tanking. At least she had close to 1,000 HP and she appeared to know what to do to hold Aggro so the Run was fairly uneventful, right up until the final Boss, Lord Godfrey. Caster extraordinaire, definitely not someone to be taken lightly.

Attempt #1 = my bad. Open with Serpent Sting to get my Pet attacking, followed by Aimed Shot. Steady Shot + Steady Shot for Improved Steady Shot. Arcane Shot. Arcane Shot and...why is the Boss targeting me? Oh yeah. MQoSRDPS is not a good thing when paired with a new Tank who has not established major Threat.

Attempt #2 = Noob Tank mistake. Note to future Tanks: do not begin a Boss encounter while your Healer is still running back from a Wipe.

Attempt #3 = Warlock Mistake. Note to Warlocks: do not bring a Voidwalker to a Boss fight.

The Party explained to the Warlock that Voidwalker is for Tanking and he's asked to summon Imp or "The Demon Lady with the Whip". Warlock doesn't respond. Warlock summons Voidwalker. I ask Warlock to summon Imp. Warlock still doesn't respond. Healer says he thinks Warlock is a Bot. I Vote to Kick Warlock for being a Bot. LOLs ensue in Party Chat and the Vote passes. Warlock is replaced with a Shadow Priest seriously decked out in Heirloom Gear. Cool. DPS should not be a problem. This time Lord Godfrey is going down.

The Tank states that this is going to be the final attempt because she needs to get to bed. The SPriest is informed that we've been getting our butt kicked by the final Boss so if he can help with Heals (if that's possible) to please do so. And with that the Tank runs up the stairs to the Boss's platform and begins the encounter. I wait. The Tank runs down the stairs to get under Boss's platform.

Note to future Tanks doing SFK: just jump off the platform, do not take the stairs back down.

The Boss makes it halfway down the stairs before stopping to cast. That's good enough for me and I begin my rotation. The Boss actually summons little guys. Being Ranged DPS I'm suddenly cognizant of just how many little guys he can summon. Wow! There's a lot of them! I start picking them off then resume DPSing the Boss...who summons more little guys. Again I target them and they die pretty quickly this time. Someone else must be killing them too.

And then the Tank dies. And I draw Aggro. Of course I do. The Boss runs toward me and when he's halfway up the stairs to my position I jump off. It's Kite time. If you read my Kwazimoto vs the Demon story then you know this is my game. I hit the stairs on the other side and head up to the Boss's platform. The Boss takes the long way back down the first set of stairs and I'm hammering him with everything I've got as he crosses back over. I'm hoping my fellow DPSers are doing the same. They must be because his health is definitely dropping. Somewhen during all of this he summoned more little guys, and they may be little but there's a lot of them and they sure are scary when you know they're gunning for you.

The Boss crosses the floor, flanked by his little army, and heads back up his stairs toward me. Just before he gets to me I leap off his platform, hit the floor, and head back over to the first set of the stairs. Once again the Boss takes the long way back down while I'm running away and jump shotting like a mad Hunter about to die.

This is a first for me. Normally I'm holding my breath and silently cheering on my party members as I watch this kind of thing from the floor where I died due to some Noob mistake (or a careless or slow-on-the-button Healer) but this time I'm in the middle of it and I don't. Die, that is. The Boss does, though. It was crazy fun.

Yes, we might have wiped a few times but it wasn't as frustrating as you might think. It may not be End Game Raiding where you play Simon Says while trying to beat the Boss's Enrage Timer but it was still a lot of fun. In the end I got the mats I needed for my new Crossbow and my Tooltip DPS went up by about 5 points while my actual DPS got a 10-point boost. And when it's all said and done, isn't that what Raiding is all about? Tiny little Stat increases? So what if it's Level 20 Raiding :D

Raiding in WoW at Level 20

Is there any real, major difference to "Raiding" at 20 vs the End Game?

You're still running Instances over, and over, and over again looking for that elusive drop that is barely an upgrade to what you already have. You still get Rogues rolling on Tank/Warrior Gear, like Silverlaine's Family Seal, a ring with +5 Strength and +3 Stamina. You still get Hunters rolling on everything, such as SFK's Haunting Blade, a 2H sword with +8 Strength...okay, and +6 to Hit. And you still get Know-It-Alls telling you to Learn2Play.

I decided to roll a Warrior because there's the option to Tank PUGs if one is feeling particularly masochistic or just desires shorter queues. But good Tanking gear is hard to come by in the game world, so you need to run as DPS then decide whether or not it's acceptable to Need Roll on a Shield if the Tank just Greed Rolls. Logic would dictate that if the Tank doesn't "Need" it, then it should be okay for you, as a wannabe Tank, to Need Roll. But there's the stigma of being seen as a Ninja if you do so, despite the fact that you've passed on every other thing that dropped so far. Plus most people think that if you want to Need Roll Tank gear you should queue up as a Tank while conveniently ignoring the fact that it's kind of hard for a Warrior to Tank without a Shield.

Now some items like the SFK Ring are no brainers. It's clearly a ring for anyone who can benefit from Strength & Stamina, whether that be a Paladin, Druid, or Warrior. Yes, like most classes a Rogue can also benefit from the +3Stamina (not sure how Strength affects a Rogue's AP though), but a Rogue who Need Rolls on a +Stamina Ring before the Tank rolls, or who Need Rolls after the Tank Need Rolls is just being a douche. (IMNSHO)

Likewise a Hunter Need Rolling on a 2H Sword with +8 Str just because it also has +6 To Hit is...okay, that's sort of understandable. Although I confess that when I saw the Hunter had Need Rolled I decided to hit Need myself, even though it probably wasn't an upgrade. And I won it, too, so take that, stupid Hunter! Almost 7 years on and Hunters still think everything is a Hunter Weapon :P So what if it turned out I was right and it wasn't really an upgrade. How was I to know how it would affect my DPS until I had it in my greedy little paws? Besides, it's a pretty cool looking sword :D

Speaking of DPS, I'm a tad miffed that there are no mid-level Target Dummies, at least none that I can find. There are lvl 1 Dummies in the Lowbie area but a level 20 demolishes them with a couple of whacks. This means aside from the Character Sheet, the only way I can verify my DPS is by actually running the same Instance twice, once with each weapon, and comparing my Recount stats after the two Runs. This also means if I want to compare Arms DPS and Fury DPS I have to put up with scrubs in PUGs telling me "2H Fury Warrior = Fail LOL".

That's why I got Recount, to verify what I suspected. That the combined +3% To Hit, +5% to ALL physical damage, and the +40% Autoattack Damage buff from the Fury Tree, more than offset the +15% 2H Dmg from the Arms Tree. Even with the two Blue 1H Maces from Shadowfang Keep it was clear that for a level 20 DPS Warrior the Cold Iron Pick is king. Which also sucks. Because it looks like a Mining Pick. That's great if you're a Dwarf, but for aesthetics (& humor value) I prefer Gnome and Tauren Warriors. So now I have a 10' tall Tauren Warrior running around clobbering things with a Mining Pick while Know-it-all Mages are telling me to Lrn2Play because I'm spec'd Fury and wielding a 2H Weapon. Never mind that it's arguably the best level 20 melee weapon in the game and that Fury at 20 pwns the crap out of Arms.

That's why I really got Recount. So I could throw that back in their face.

Hey, Mr. Know-it-all Mage, see the Damage Meter? You just got pwned by a Nub Warrior with the wrong spec wielding a fucking Mining Pick!!! How does that feel?

With nothing but Quest Rewards and Dungeon Drops I'm pulling 100dps, which doesn't sound like much but at lvl 20 I'm second only to Heirloom-equipped characters, and even then I'm giving them a run for their money.

Hey, Mr. Know-it-all Heirloom-wearing Mage, see the Damage Meter? Yeah, that's right. PWNED!!!

Yeah, "Raiding" at 20 really isn't that different from End Game. You still have to put up with people like me. Happy Hunting ;)

Further early morning adventures in downtown L.A.

This morning on my walk to the office I was greeted by four inhabitants of downtown L.A., and not one of them asked me for spare change.

I'm a little reluctant to refer to them as homeless because there's a good chance they're not; most of them probably have a home somewhere, even if it's little more than a room in a $150/week hotel. Yes, they exist, and no, you probably don't want to stay there on your next vacation, as cheap as it may seem.

Around 4th & Los Angeles I encountered a lady and a gentleman having a chat across the width of Los Angeles St. The lady was on my side of Los Angeles and walking toward me while the gentleman was crossing Los Angeles from the other side. As I approached they seemed to conclude their chat, and the lady turned, saw me, and wished me a good morning, and I returned her greeting. Unexpectedly, she did not ask me for spare change.

The gentleman had finished crossing to our side of Los Angeles, and having witnessed the brief exchange between the lady and I, while I was still about 30-feet away called out to me.

"Yo! What's up?"

"Hey! How you doin'?" I called back, then added. "Cold one this morning." (Which it was.)

He said something in return which I didn't catch but I knew meant that he hadn't quite heard or understood what I'd said. As I got closer he repeated, "Whazzat?"

"She's a cold one this morning," I said.

"Ooh yeah," he agreed.

And on I walked, again without being asked for change.

As I approached 5th St. I saw it was a hive of activity, much like last week. For some reason everyone seems to be out early on Friday morning. Maybe it's the excitement of the approaching weekend, I don't know, but at 5:30am on a Friday morning the place-to-be in downtown L.A. appears to be 5th St. and Los Angeles.

As I crossed 5th St. a large, middle-aged black woman standing on the opposite corner snarled loudly at a passerby, "What are you looking at?" Then she turned, saw me, and greeted me with a cheerful, "Morning, baby. How you doing?"

"I'm doing well, thank you," I replied. "How are you this morning?"

"I am going to make it," she said. She had such a positive outlook that I knew whatever curveballs life threw at her she would take it all in stride.

"That is really good to hear," I responded, with as much sincerity as I could muster.

Just a little further down was a young, quite stylishly dressed black man who, if the lady I'd just spoken to was a lady of the night, and I'm not saying she was, may - or may not - have been her agent. Or he may have been a gentleman of the night himself. He was quite well dressed. He had clearly overheard my conversation with the large black lady and he caught my eye and grinned at me as I approached, and then he smiled and wished me a good morning.

The incongruity of a white boy like me in that neighborhood at that time of the morning probably contributes to the warm reception I received. That I'm not just a white boy but a white boy from a small country town in rural Australia walking through downtown Los Angeles at 5:30 in the morning only serves to further enhance the absurdity of the situation.

This is not to say downtown Los Angeles is erroneously portrayed in the media and is actually a delightful place for an early morning stroll. I'm an Aussie country boy in Los Angeles. I am who I am. YMMV.

Sorry? Why are you sorry?

As part of my weight loss plan I've been walking from Union Station to the office and back each day, a distance of approximately 2 miles each way. I can walk at a decent pace so this takes me about half an hour each way. Given the route I take I'm also passing through a slightly seedier part of downtown L.A. so my morning commute frequently takes me past quite a few homeless folks, most of them are asleep but sometimes one or two are awake and getting ready to face another day in paradise.

I'm used to being asked for spare change and aren't bothered by the homeless folks, although the LOUD jumpy ones are definitely worth keeping an eye on as they're the ones who sometimes like to hit passersby.

This morning I'm pretty sure I passed a couple of drug dealers, and while I might look like a cop and sometimes be mistaken for one I think these guys were streetwise enough to realize I wasn't the real deal. Which is why one of them didn't hesitate to take something that may or may not have been drugs and/or cash out of a broken newspaper vending machine as I approached. Likewise I was savvy enough to not even look at them as I passed by but continued marching along at my pavement-eating pace. Fast, but not running. Not scared, but not acting like a bravado either.

Further down the road I saw two guys standing in a doorway, engaged in conversation. As I drew closer one of them began walking off while the body language of the second indicated he intended to talk to me. Physically he looked like your typical street dweller, but he appeared more mentally alert than the average brain-addled homeless guy. This is the kind of thing you need to be aware of if you plan to walk the streets of Los Angeles, especially at 5:30 in the morning.

I was prepared to defend myself in case he turned out to be the loud, jumpy type, or wanted more than just spare change. I was also ready to turn the guy down if he did ask me for change. What I wasn't expecting was for him to produce a block of chocolate and offer it as trade for a cigarette.

Realizing that although he had not asked for change that he was still actually begging, sort of, my mouth spat out "Sorry, man" before my brain could provide it with a more appropriate response.

And on I walked as my brain tried to process the absurdity of being offered a block of chocolate by a homeless guy in exchange for a cigarette at 5:30 in the morning on the streets of downtown Los Angeles.

Then from behind me I heard him say, "Sorry? Why are you sorry?"

Are you serious? Do I need to spell it out for you?

Apparently my mouth thought it did, and I called back to him, "I don't have any cigarettes...*pause*...sorry."

That really doesn't make that much more sense, said my brain. Why are you sorry that you don't have any cigarettes? That's not a bad thing. Even if you did, you don't want that guy's chocolate anyway.

Wisely, this time, my mouth stayed silent.

The mysteries of the Interwebs

Apparently over the past few days our IT Department switched us over to a new Proxy server because the old one was having problems, and IT are too short-staffed to troubleshoot it so they just set us up with a new Proxy server.

Except the new Proxy server is also having problems, from running slow to not working at all, and because our office uses Google's GMail, when the proxy server is down we cannot access our email. This has been causing headaches for my office's System Techs because administering the Proxy server is IT's responsibility, and they're in another office, in another building, a dozen blocks away. So when the Proxy goes down and we can't access our email, Systems can't actually do anything to get us back up. And who do we run to when our computer don't work? Systems of course, because they're right here.

Certain websites are also blocked by the new Proxy server, websites which were not blocked before. Now it makes sense to block certain websites, except they're not the sites you might think. Or maybe they are, but I'm not checking those sites.

For example, I can still get on Facebook, and...yep, MySpace is still good, too.

I can access my Yahoo email but the click-thru links in my MyPoints emails do not work because MyPoints.com has been blocked.

I can also access my blog here at Blogspot (as long as the Proxy server is up), and yet...I cannot access Tobold's Blog, which is also on Blogspot. It shows up in Google when I search for it, but any attempts to access it are denied. Very strange.

I don't believe in going on a diet

Because going on a diet implies that at some point in the future you will go off the diet, and if you go on a diet and lose weight and then go off the diet, and if nothing else has changed in your life, then the weight you lost while on your diet will most likely return. With friends.

In order to lose weight and keep it off you need to effect a lifestyle change.

Instead of going on a diet you need to change your eating habits. Instead of eating three pork tacos for lunch, you'll eat two. Or perhaps you'll eat two chicken tacos, or two fish tacos.

Instead of riding the bus to the office, given the time you'll get off several blocks early and walk the rest of the way, and in the afternoon going home you'll do the same.

And if you want to keep that weight off those are not things you'll do only until you've lost X pounds, after which you'll resume eating 3 pork tacos for lunch while riding the bus all the way to the office. If you want to keep that weight off you need to continue doing the things that helped you lose the weight in the first place. In other words, you cannot go on then go off your diet.

That said, for the past few months I have been on a diet. I make no pretenses about this. I am on a diet. I have been denying myself certain food products in order to lose weight, and once a certain date has been reached, being October 5, I will absolutely and unequivocally go off my diet. After October 5th I will have a donut from the box that occasionally appears in the office. One donut. I will sometimes order the ribs instead of the fish or salad when we eat out. And I will have those deep fried jalapenos, the crispy fried noodles, and the pork burrito, thank you very much. But not all the time.

Because once October 5th arrives my Office's weight loss competition will be over, and hopefully I will have lost a large enough percentage of my starting weight to be declared the biggest loser. That's my primary goal. To lose enough weight to win the Office weight-loss competition.

Currently I'm the front runner, as per our weigh-in last week and now there's just 3 weeks to go. I weigh approx. 175 lbs, having lost 12.2% of my starting weight of 200 lbs, I'm wearing size 32" pants (which fit well, and are not snug at all), while my body fat is approx. 15% (it used to be around 22-23%). I'm in great shape for a 42-year old guy. Knee pain & arthritis aside I'm even in better shape than when I graduated from High School. So I can honestly say that once this is all over, even if I'm not the biggest loser, I am a winner.

However, just because I'm going to go off my diet on October 5th doesn't mean I'll balloon up to my former weight of 200-210 lbs. Yes, I'll have the burgers and ribs and beer and jalapeno poppers, and all the other foods I love but which I've been denying myself these past few months. But I'll eat them in moderation. I said earlier that winning the Office weight loss competition was my primary goal. My secondary goal is to maintain (to a moderate degree) my healthier lifestyle and to continue working out. But rather than continue with the cardio I've been doing to lose all that weight, I'll be lifting weights to regain the muscle mass I know I've lost.

In 3 months I've lost 25 lbs and dropped my body fat from 23% to 15%. I'm not going back on another diet; I'm going to make changes to my eating and workout habits in order to capitalize on what I've accomplished these past few months.

I don't plan to bulk up and look like Captain America, but I still want to look good.

Correction: I'm already looking good, I want to look great.

Dead Island

I read a couple of reviews of Dead Island and it sounds interesting. I like the thought of playing it in the First Person. That definitely puts you more into the game versus playing it in the Third Person and guiding a character around. The use of Stamina, a depletable, slowly regenerating resource used for pretty much every action in the game from punching a zombie to swinging a bat to running for your life is a great way to generate suspense. Sure you can fight, but not indefinitely. Yes you can run, but you can't run forever. You need to seek refuge. You need to rest and recover your strength. Because you are only human.

I even like the character being able to gather resources and use them at various Work Benches scattered around the island to improve, enhance, and upgrade their weapons. What I don't like, is that the resource you use to upgrade your weapons is money.

Seriously? You're on a zombie-infested island with just a handful of survivors and you're "buying" weapon upgrades? Come on! There's no merchants, there's no commerce. How can you possibly spend money to upgrade your weapons? I know, I know. It's a game about zombies. It's not meant to be realistic.

I respectfully disagree with you. I say of course it's supposed to be realistic. We're supposed to become emotionally invested in this game, particularly in this specific game given the level of emotion invoked by the Trailer.



The Devs expect us to believe in this world, but for us to believe in it it needs to be realistic. Okay, somewhat realistic, given it's a world/island overrun by zombies. But even in a fantasy world where the dead can rise, walk, run, and try to eat your brains, you still could not use money to upgrade weapons unless you were paying someone to upgrade them for you. But there's nobody else involved in the upgrading process, so you cannot be paying anyone, thus money as a resource to upgrade your weapons is?

Highly illogical, Capt'n.

Thank you, Mr. Spock.

Had you been finding & accruing not Money, but Spare Parts, or Bits & Pieces, and at a Work Bench you used X number of Bits & Pieces to upgrade your weapon from Level N to Level N+1 I would have totally accepted that. It's a quite plausible, valid premise, even though nothing has changed but the name of the resource. You were using Money, now you're using Bits. That simple name change changes everything.

A wise man once (allegedly) said, "What's in a name?"

Another wise man responded (although perhaps not immediately, nor to the first man), "Names have power."

Versatile Blogger Award

Apparently I've won an Award of sorts. Or had it bestowed upon me. Same thing, sort of, although this award comes with rules for accepting it.

Like linking back to the Blogger who gave it to me, being Memphis Steve from Steve's Nude Memphis. No, he's not naked, or even a nudist, just read his Blog and you'll get it. Or not.

The second rule is to share seven things about yourself, and the third is to pass the award on to 15...FIFTEEN!!?!? recently discovered Blogs. I think I'll fail that part, but first...

1. If I like you I will deliberately insult you, and the more I like you the more I will insult you. The problem is I'm socially inept so I usually cannot tell when I've gone too far, and what should be a bit of light-hearted teasing among mates often comes across as very offensive.

2. I like to walk places. I once offended my Dad when I said I needed to go into town, he offered to give me a lift, and I said I could just walk. It was only about a half hour walk into town. No big deal, to me. Dad was pretty pissed off though. When I first came to the States I got a job in the local Mall about a mile from the in-laws home (where we lived for the first year or so after we were married...does that count as Number 3? I think so. I'm going to count it.) and the mother-in-law was visibly shocked when I told her I was going to walk to the Mall.

3. After the wife and I were married we lived with her parents for about a year. I told you I was going to count it.

4. I believe in ghosts. I believe we don't see them because we've learned how to close our minds to them, and that children whose minds are still open can still perceive them. I believe that in some cases the crazy homeless people we see having conversations or arguments with thin air are crazy but their minds are no longer closed and so they're actually talking to and arguing with ghosts.

5. (a) In High School I copied an entire book on Ned Kelly for a History assignment. This was before Referencing and Bibliographies were expected. I got an A+.
5. (b) In College, when only one of the girls in our group understood a certain assignment she let four of us rewrite her essay so we could all pass. We all made sure to write it a little differently, use our own words, etc., so the Professor wouldn't suspect us of copying. When we got our grades back the girl whose assignment we copied from got a B, and everyone else got a C, except for me. I got an A. Sometimes cheaters do prosper.

6. Back in High School, I was reading the winning entries for a State-wide short story competition when I came across a very familiar story about a boy and his new bike. At home that afternoon I searched through numerous editions of Reader's Digest until I found the issue with the story about a boy and his new bike. The next day I showed my English Teacher the winning short story, along with the corresponding Reader's Digest. A few weeks later my English Teacher told me that he had learned that the student had been ordered to return his prize. I don't remember what it was. Probably money.

7. I have a genius-level IQ, which doesn't really mean anything other than I'm very good at solving logical puzzles. I do very well in maths-based tests, but anything requiring critical thinking, reading comprehension, etc., I usually fail with flying colors.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Or not. My nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award. Of which there most assuredly will not be 15.

1. 6 Inch Move is a Blog written by several table-top wargaming friends. I think this counts for as many extra Blogs as I need to make up my 15 :P

2. The Food In My Beard is, obviously enough, a food Blog. It's written by a guy who loves to cook for himself and his friends, and he appears to be pretty damn good at it, too. Features lots of delicious photos. Do not read while hungry.

3. Carrying A Cat By The Tail stars Spuds, a self-proclaimed "cool guy". If he actually says and does even half the stuff he says and does (and I have no reason to believe that he does not) then he is, indeed, a very cool dude.

4. A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings is written by an Aussie girl who moved from Melbourne to Canberra for work, before regaining her senses and moving back to Melbourne. That's Melbourne, Australia, not Melbourne, Florida.

The following Blogs have been classified by Blogger as Adults-only. Whatever that means.

5. Perception is Everything is written by KittyCat and is probably one of my most favorite, newly discovered Blogs.

6. Fun and Dirty Thoughts is written by a pretty hot guy named Marcus who still seems to have trouble charming the pants off his wife.

7. GoodWill (Bad Will) is written by Good Will, but sometimes he's Bad Will, and as the saying goes, when he's good he is very, very good, but when he's bad he's even better ;)

That's all, folks.

To Spruce Grove, and beyond!!!

That title doesn't look terribly witty. I should probably stick to my day job. Not like I plan to make any money off this Blog anyway...unless I put a Paypal donation button on the side. I wonder...if I did that...would anyone actually use it??? I wouldn't do that anyway, I despise beggars because most of them don't need the money anyway, or if they do, they only need it because they're not making any attempt to actually do anything with their life. That said, I do admire the work ethic of some of downtown L.A.'s perpetually homeless folks. I pass through Union Station at approx. 5:30am and there are already beggars hitting me up for spare change.

I get off the train at Pershing Square and walk a few blocks to the office and the other morning I ran into a woman who could have been my mother. I don't mean she looked like my mum, but she was in her late 50s to 60s, quite well dressed, clean, well groomed, in other words she looked like your typical middle-class elderly woman. When she said "Excuse me" I stopped to hear her out because she did not look like your average beggar, and then she asked me for change, and I said "Sorry" to her and walked on. I had another early riser hit me up one time but as soon as I heard him say, "I live in Santa Ana..." I cut him off. "No change, buddy."

Looking at the title of this entry this was not meant to be a rant on homeless people and I'm pretty sure I've done that already. Oh, I see how I derailed myself, so, back to the actual topic.

This past weekend was supposed to be the peak of the Perseid Meteor Shower. When my Mum was here this time last year we sat out in the backyard and tried to see some meteors, but we were SOL - too much ambient light - so I promised my son that next year (being now) I'd take him camping and we'd see some meteors for sure. Although apparently the ones you see are really meteorites, if I recall my High School Astronomy correctly. Meteors are in outer space, meteorites are the ones that enter Earth's atmosphere.

So it was this time of year again (isn't that a redundant saying? Isn't it always "That time of year"?) and the annual Perseid Meteor Shower was passing by so I decided the boy and I would head up into the Angeles National Forest and go camping and maybe see some meteors.

I got off work early on Friday, and after dicking around at home getting everything packed (we were going for one fucking night and it still seemed to take forever to get our shit together), plus a trip to the hardware store for a hatchet, followed by a trip to the market for a packet of hotdogs, we were finally off. Fortunately the entrance to the park is not far from home so by 4pm (or so) we were parked at Chantry Flat (in the last freaking space in the lot, at 4pm, on a Friday afternoon. Incredible!) had our packs on our backs and were heading into the wilderness.

I'd come down here a few weeks earlier with the family, and I'd planned to do the 4-mile roundtrip via Camp Hoagee, except we missed our turn off and wound up at Sturtevant Falls instead, which for a family hike was actually a much more pleasant destination than 4 miles of nowhere. I'd also been to the Falls a couple of times before but had never gone any further. Fortunately I had a map, and the trail had decent signs pointing the way, so I was pretty confident we would find the Spruce Grove campsite. However, having never been past Sturtevant Falls before I was not prepared for what was in store for the boy and me.

The boy is 11 now. He does Tae Kwon Do a couple of times a week, plays golf with me (occasionally), and lately has been taking tennis lessons once a week with his uncle. He's not fat, not at all, in fact he's in pretty good shape compared to many of his friends, but he had never been on a hike like what I had planned for us.

We hiked the 1 1/2 miles along the trail to Sturtevant Falls until we came to the Spruce Grove turn-off, and then made our first decision. Did we want to take the "Horse Trail" (so called because the packmules which supply Camp Sturtevant come that way) or did we want to take Upper Falls Trail which took us, obviously enough, above Sturtevant Falls. We went with the Upper Falls Trail and it was...interesting.

And here's a picture. Actually, here's a few. As always, you can click 'em to make 'em bigger.
This is the edge of the pool at the base of the Falls. There are people down there. We're pretty high up. Not like thousands of feet in the air, but definitely vertigo-inducing, if you're susceptible to that sort of thing.

This shot was taken pretty much from the path itself, I just leaned over a tad. There were sections of the path so narrow that you could not put both feet down side-by-side, and the drop-off at those sections was not unlike that in this picture.

And then there were sights like this cave. At least I think it's a cave. We didn't go in there, or even stop to take a closer look; we were in a race with the sun. I knew we were close when I smelled smoke from a campfire, then we crested a hill and although the scenery didn't change, it opened up a little, and the sight that greeted us was very welcoming.

Several of the camp spots were already occupied but the one closest to where we came in was free so we quickly claimed it. For a campground 4 miles into the forest it was actually quite decent. Each site had a cleared area to pitch your tent; a picnic table with bench seats; and two fire places, one a fire pit with a hinged grate (which could be swung onto the fire, or lifted out of the way), and the second an almost enclosed fire place (with a chimney) and a flat piece of griddle-like iron on top.

Dinner that night was beans with hot dogs, grilled the traditional way on a forked stick. The dogs, that is; the beans were heated up in a frying pan that I carried in my pack, along with the tins of beans, hot dogs, bowls, etc. The boy carried his pack but he just had a few bottles of water, his sleeping bag & sleeping mat, spare socks and a warm sweater. I had the same in my pack, too, but I also had the tent. I planned to weigh my pack before we set out, but I forgot, and that's probably a good thing. I know the military do crazy hikes with 60-100 lbs packs but they train for that shit AND they get paid to do it. I was doing this for fun...sort of.

Baked beans and grilled hot dogs. After a 2 1/2-hour hike that simple fare tasted unbe-fucking-lieavable! It was seriously good. The boy ate 1 1/2 dogs and not quite a full tin of beans. I added the remnants of his beans to my own tin along with 2 1/2 dogs. After the dishes were done (washed in the nearby & apparently freezing cold stream) we lay down next to the fire, stared up at the sky, and looked for meteors, while silently berating the City-boys in the next site over who insisted on shining their super bright flashlight all over the place. We lay there looking up at the night sky and saw lots of stars but no meteors.

"Want to keep looking, or go to bed?" I asked the boy.

"Keep looking," he replied. So we did.

A while later I repeated my question and this time he chose "Bed". Not surprisingly. I'm sure even without the food his pack was still pretty heavy. For the next few hours I tossed & turned, dozed off & woke up, until some time after midnight when I finally managed to stay asleep until 6am.

Wanting to get going before it got too hot I woke the boy up, and 45 minutes later we had the tent packed up, had eaten breakfast (granola bars), and were on our way. The return journey was not back out the way we came but further in, past Camp Sturtevant, up Mt. Zion, down the other side, through Camp Hoagee and on to Chantry Flat, being a total distance of approximately 5 1/2 miles.

Again the boy did amazingly well and we were back at the car by 9:30am.

"Want to do something like this again?" I asked him.

"Maybe," he said, "but not quite as long."

I know how you feel, son ;)

Wii Fit

Not really a review. I did that already.

The long face the animated Balance Board has each time I tell it "No, I don't want to hear one of your Fitness Tips" still amuses me.

We have carpeted floors in the new place. Wii Fits aren't entirely that accurate on carpet.

It came with four little rubber extensions (for the feet) for when it's to be used on carpeted floors, but even with them I still don't believe it's as accurate as it would be on a solid wood floor.

I have a piece of chipboard that is just a shade bigger than the Balance Board, although all that does is distribute the weight load over a greater surface area. The carpet still depresses beneath the chipboard so any measurements still have to be taken with a grain of salt.

I deliberately did a Body Test without the chipboard, and without the feet extensions, and I "weighed" 15 pounds lighter than what I know I am. Think the Balance Board with the long face is funny? I found it's flabbergasted reaction to me losing 15 pounds in one day highly amusing.

I'm 41 years old (42 in 2 weeks time), I'm 5'11, 182 lbs (or so), with approx. 15% Body Fat. I am NOT overweight so Fuck You, Wii Fit! Don't go telling me "That's overweight" in your little condescending tone when I take a Body Test.

Having "lost" 15 pounds the Wii Fit now has me in the Normal Range for the archaic BMI and so my Mii has a slender body. Well, not slender, per se, but he's not rotund anymore either.

I'm still working out but I'm not going to take any more Body Tests. My new test is to look in the mirror. Yeah, I'm looking good, but I could look better. That's my Body Test.

What a crock

I've long suspected that my digital BF% Scales are not as accurate as they could be, not for digital scales which, one would assume, should be quite accurate.

Although I don't believe in them yesterday could be considered my "cheat day". Liz drove into downtown to join me for lunch and we ended up at the Eastside Market where I consumed an entire sausage & meatball sandwich. I've been pretty good for the last few weeks and my voluntary commute change means I now walk 2 miles to work and back, plus daily workouts on the Wii Fit, so it's not like I undid the past few weeks work.

This morning, post workout, I weighed 185 lbs. I got dressed, shorts & t-shirt, then weighed myself again. 187 lbs. Really? Okay, I'll take your word for it. I hit the button to measure my Body Fat (allegedly via Bioimpedance) and the scales said I was at 22%.

I'm sorry. 22%? Yesterday, at 182 lbs, you said I was at 20%. Now, I weigh 5 lbs more and you say I'm back up to 22%? I decided to conduct a very simple test, grabbed a 5 lb weight and my two 10 lb dumbbells, and returned to the scales. With 5 lb weight in hand I stepped on and now I weighed 192 lbs. Ok, fair enough. I stepped off, grabbed my two 10 lb weighs and stepped back on.

209 lbs.

I see.

I hit the button to measure my body fat, the scale ran it's alleged bio-impedance test and a few seconds later the number 27 appeared on the screen.

Really?

Because while I might "weigh" 20 lbs more than before, I'm pretty sure that's not an extra 20 lbs of fat, so my body fat percentage should have not changed. In fact, if anything, it should have gone down, because now the fat-to-weight ratio has decreased...or increased, depending on how you look at it.

So the Body Fat Calculator doesn't really calculate your actual body fat via bio-impedance but simply goes off your height and weight. What a fucking crock.

I also know the scales are not entirely accurate either. I can weigh myself prior to using the toilet, then immediately afterward, and the scales will give me the same weight. I can drink a large glass of water between weighings and the scales will tell me no change.

FWIW, this was a Taylor Body Fat Analyzer & Scale, Model #5564, which are no longer available.

If you have a combination Scale & BFA, I'd like to ask you to conduct this simple test and post the results in my Comments section. Weigh yourself and calculate your BF%, then weigh yourself again while holding a heavy item. Does your BF% change? If so, which way?

Wii down! Wii down!!!

A few years ago we got our Wii and while it's not an XBox or a PS3 it's still a lot of fun, and aside from a couple of glitches which never required anything more than a reboot to resolve we never had any problems with it. Until this weekend.

So a few weeks ago my office decided to have a Weight Loss competition.

Wait! Weren't we talking about your Wii?

Yes, we were. We'll get back to that.

So my office weight loss competition is being held over 3 months with a $20/month fee, and the winner & Biggest Loser takes all at the final weigh-in on October 5th.

Last year I lost almost 30 pounds in a couple of months, going from 210 down to 180, simply by watching what I ate (and watching less of it ;), and using my Wii and Wii Fit Boxing. I got down to 180 but then stopped working out as diligently, and my weight slowly crept back up. Fortunately it never went over 190, which is healthy for a 5'11", 41 year old guy who doesn't work out that much, but I could do better. According to my scales I've got approx. 20% Body Fat, so let's do some math, shall we? No? I don't care. My Blog, my rules.

I was 210 lbs with 25% Body Fat. That equates to ~52.5 lbs of fat. Last night I weighed 183 lbs and my scales told me I was at 20% Body Fat. That equates to 36.6 lbs. Doing the math we see that I've lost approx. 16 lbs of fat, but my weight has dropped by 27 lbs. How did I lose that extra weight? Muscle mass. I lost approx. 9 lbs of muscle. But that's okay. I'm a big guy but I don't need to be. I don't play any sports other than golf, and I work in an office, not on a construction site. I don't mind losing a little bit of muscle. However, I don't want to lose too much, either, because muscles burn calories. Even just sitting still, if you're a buff guy, you naturally burn more calories than the flabby guy next to you. The more muscle I shed the less muscle I have to burn calories, which is one of the reasons people hit a plateau when they're trying to lose weight. They don't just lose fat, they lose muscle; lose enough muscle and the calorie deficit you created (aka "diet") has just been negated. Now you need to work out even more to continue losing weight. But unless you know exactly what you're doing and are consuming sufficient protein and carbs and essential fats you're going to lose muscle along with the fat, making it harder & harder to lose more & more weight.

And in order to win this weight loss competition I need to lose weight.

I don't necessarily want to add bulk because muscle, being denser, weighs more than fat. Sure, I can tone up and get lean by working out, shedding fat, and adding muscle, and I'd look great, but I'd still weigh 185 lb, if not more. I'd look great, but I want those Benjamins, so I need to accept that some of the weight I'm going to lose will be muscle. I'll lose fat, sure, but I'm going to lose muscle, too, and if I want the money there's nothing I can do about that.

Our initial weigh-in was 3 weeks ago, on July 6th, being right after July 4th, and the wife had already mentioned that uncle was having a BBQ at his house. So that was a great opportunity to stack the scales in my favor by stuffing my digestive system full of yummy, bbq goodness, then holding onto it until Wednesday. Sorry. TMI?

Watching "The Biggest Loser" a couple of months ago I'd also stumbled across a trick to gain a lot of weight really, really quickly, and in a manner much akin to how you can lose weight really, really fast. H2O aka Water. One 16oz bottle of water weighs 1 lb. Two 16 oz bottles of water weighs? Yes, 2 lbs. And so on.

I weighed 190 lbs. I was 20 lbs lighter than last year, but that's the easy weight to lose. Oh sure, I knew I could get down to 180 fairly easily, but anything past that would require a seriously dedicated effort. What to do? Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. And so I did. I ate a lot during the week or so leading up to the weigh-in, and on the morning of the weigh-in? I drank. Of course you can only drink so much water without suffering the natural, foregone conclusion of being sufficiently hydrated, if not overly so. Fortunately my boss got in early so I was able to check in with her and my official starting weight was duly observed by a credible witness. With a bursting bladder I weighed in at a staggering 199.6 lbs. And about 10 minutes later I'd lost my first 3-4 lbs :P

Precisely one week later we had our second weigh-in, and knowing I'd already lost a decent amount of weight I again drank a couple of bottles of water prior to weighing in. Don't want to lose too much too fast and scare off the competition. In one week I "lost" 3.51% of my starting weight. One other guy in the office lost 3.54% and I would later learn that he also waterloaded prior to his first weigh-in. The things people do for money ;)

Just like last year I'd been working out with the Wii and Wii Fit Boxing, but this weekend I hit a snag.

Friday afternoon the boy was playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and when I went to join in the Wii crashed on us. I actually forgot it did that, but as I mentioned earlier it wasn't the first time, and as it was almost time for the boy's swimming lesson I turned the Wii off and thought nothing more about it. I wouldn't use the Wii again until Sunday but when I turned it on and inserted the Wii Fit disc nothing happened. The Wii started up, the Wii Home menu appeared, but the disc refused to load. I tried a couple of other discs to no avail. None of them would load. This did not look good. I know my way around the inside of a PC, but a Wii? Sure, it's a computer, but Nintendo do not make it easy to get into them. And even if I did get it open, it's not like I would have the spare bits & pieces lying around like I do with my PCs.

Nope. A malfunctioning video game console is bad news to all but the most experienced tech geek. Fortunately the Wii did tell me that it couldn't read the disc, and as it couldn't read any of my discs I figured it was either a dirty laser lens reader, or...something more serious :P Also fortunate was that Nintendo sell a Laser Lens Cleaning Kit for $10 plus S&H, which is usually another $10-$15.

Hmm, they must sell these things in Toys R Us though, right?

No, they don't.

Best Buy?

Nope.

Target? Walmart? Gamestop???

Nope.

A few clerks knew what I was talking about but their replies were all the same: We haven't carried them for a few months now.

I see. To this paranoid conspiracy theorist it appeared that Nintendo stopped supplying the brick & stone stores with these Kits in order to maximize their profit on them. Probably because people bought them, used them, then returned them. Which may not be that far from the truth. Now I wouldn't necessarily have done that, not unless it didn't work. But without it being available in my local brick & stone store I didn't even have that opportunity to see if cleaning the laser lens might solve my problem.

We've had the Wii for almost 4 years now, which is a pretty good run for a console, even though our Gamecube works just fine, as does the N64 (after a spot of blowing on the cart and in the slot ;), but that means the Wii is well & truly out of its warranty period. I went online, and initiated a repair request via Nintendo's website. $75 for the repair, plus tax, plus S&H, for a total cost of $92. IF I could buy a new Wii I could probably get one, just the Wii, for approx. $100. But Nintendo don't sell just the Wii. They bundle them with Mario Kart, or Donkey Kong, or Mario Bros., and they retail them for $150. I'm not spending that much on a new Wii, and the wife said "Screw that!" to their $92 repair charge. Instead we borrowed the in-laws Wii and promised to return it for the weekend when the kids come to visit.

In the meantime I went online and started researching Wii problems, specifically how to disassemble a Wii and clean the laser lens. I found a Youtube video where the guy didn't pull his Wii apart, instead, he used an old CD and built a replica Nintendo Lens Cleaning Kit, which is essentially nothing more than a disc with an absorbent pad for applying cleaning solution, and a handle so you can both remove the disc from the Wii's disc slot, but also use the handle to jiggle the disc around to clean the laser lens. That's what Nintendo wanted me to pay $25 for; a plastic disc with a cleaning pad and a handle.

More useful was that the video creator said that a month after he used his homemade lens cleaning disc and got his Wii reading discs again, it stopped working, again, and this time no amount of cleaning got it working. So he put in a ticket to Nintendo and told them he had been playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl when it stopped reading the disc, and Nintendo offered him a free repair inc. free S&H! Now that's a price not even the wife could turn down.

And that's when my son reminded me that the Wii had crashed on us Friday afternoon while he had been playing Brawl.

I went online. I put in a ticket to Nintendo. I reported that the "failure to read disc" error was attributed to Brawl. And this time Nintendo offered me a free repair, inc. free S&H.

The only caveat was that along with the Wii, I had to include our copy of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I told the boy that Nintendo would repair the Wii for free, but we had to send them our copy of Brawl, as well.

"Will we get it back?" he asked.

"Of course!" I reassured him. "And if we don't, there will be hell to pay!"

On Nintendo's website was a quote from a happy customer who claimed he got his Wii back within a week of sending it in for repairs. Nintendo themselves say to allow up to 8-10 business days. Let's see what happens.

Bloodbowl '11

"Dad, can we play the spiked football game?" the boy said. It took me a few seconds to realize what he meant, because we hadn't played Bloodbowl for quite some time.

I dragged everything out and laid the teams out for him to choose from. He went with the Orcs so I tossed in an unpainted Varag Ghoulchewer, then decided to choose the more completely painted (but no less poncy) Wood Elves and their star player Jordell Freshbreeze, over the hardier but lesser painted Dwarfs.

The Elves won the toss and elected to receive, forcing the boy to set up his Orcs first. Not knowing how to play to their strength he started with his two Black Orcs on the bench, and I took advantage of his inexperience, sending one of my fast & agile Catchers up the left wing on my first Turn, and scoring a touchdown with him on my second.

I scored another quick Touchdown within the next two Turns when I was able to bring down the mighty Varag and strip the ball from him, although the huge Orc's armor prevented me from doing any serious damage. The high Armor Value of the slow but tough Orcs would be a boon to the boy as I brought down Orc after Orc, only to see them get back to their feet on the next turn. Meanwhile, my nimble but far less armored Elves were taking a beating. The low point of the first half was a ball-carrying Jordell being caught by a solitary Thrower mere yards from the end zone. A series of lucky rolls from the boy not only brought my star player down, but took him out of the game permanently.

Meanwhile, back on the line of scrimmage, the rest of my Elves were not faring any better. It was my own fault for teaching the boy the flanking maneuver that begins with the end model Blocking his opponent and freeing himself up to Assist his neighboring team mate with his Block, and so on down the line. The results speak for themselves.
In case it's not readily apparent, of the 9 Wood Elf models in this picture only 4 of them are still standing.

We put up a valiant fight but the Elves are not made for stand-up, knock down fights, not against Orcs. They're good at the second part, but not so good at the first. The boy was able to keep control of the ball and so control the play, and as the first Half drew to a close a lone green Lineman ran into the end zone while his team mates looked on (and probably gave the Elf at their feet a sly kicking for good measure).
The Elf's dugout was a sad and miserable place at halftime. It's hard to inspire the lads when almost half their team are Knocked Out, Seriously Injured, or worse.

Note: This is not the way to coach the Wood Elves to victory. Maybe the Dwarfs could hold on in this position long enough to scrape out a victory, or at least play to a tie. We're three turns into the Second Half, and Varag has the ball again, but this time he's flanked by his team mates as he prepares to stomp his way to victory. Not even the three Elves who ganged up on a prone Orc behind the play were able to slow down the green tide of destruction.

This game is not over yet, but the best I can probably hope for is a draw.

Mini-vacation

My son graduated from 5th Grade & Elementary school last week, which resulted in me having a mini-vacation from Wednesday through Monday, during which I:

• inflated and tied over 100 helium balloons, blistering the side of my finger in the process (something I didn't realize I'd done until the blister burst around the 90th balloon);
• ran security/crowd control on 200+ proud parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., all intent on getting a photo of their little angel receiving his/her "diploma" while being completely oblivious to who they stood in front of to do so;
• co-chaperoned 100+ screaming 10 y/olds at a graduation 10-pin bowling party, where I discovered 10-year old kids not only know the words to Gaga's Poker Face, Taio Cruz's Dynamite, and Katy Perry's Firework but how to dance along to them, too...except for my son. He's a chip off the old block, he is ;)
• helped my 6 y/old daughter finally beat Kirby's Epic Yarn, Lego Batman, and Mario Galaxy. (Note: we only beat them, we didn't complete them. I later returned to Mario Galaxy and collected a few extra Power Stars but turned the game off when the Developers confused "challenging" with "frustrating".)

I don't honk when you're in MY lane

The right-hand lane which I use to enter the bus station's parking lot is not a right turn-only lane, so cars are free to use that right hand lane to continue straight ahead, and most vehicles in that lane do because they prefer to park in the next lot, or they're heading for the Freeway just a little further down. I find this annoying because in California, unless there are signs saying otherwise, you can make a right-hand turn on a red light, and if I don't catch the green light inevitably I find myself stopped behind someone who wants to go straight ahead. But as it's not a right turn-only lane they're doing nothing wrong, so I sit patiently and wait for the green.

Unlike most Southern Californians I always use my turn signal, and sometimes I'll pull up right behind this car, barely inches from their rear bumper, but slightly off center so if their mirrors are angled correctly my blinking turn signal is being reflected in their right-hand mirror. At times like these I'm even tempted to honk my horn at them, as if to say, "Come on, turn already." Except that's rude. They don't have their turn signal on, and if they wanted to turn they would have done so, so I sit there, patiently waiting for the light to turn green. Of course when it does there's always a couple of pedestrians from the parking lot waiting to cross the road to the bus station, so as a courteous driver (for the most part) I now feel compelled to wait for them too.

And the situation I've just described is exactly what happened this morning.

When the light went green the car in front of me drove on, straight ahead, and I pulled forward, turn signal still blinking, just like it had been doing the entire time I sat there waiting patiently for the light to turn green, then I stopped. I stopped because George, the old man who rides my bus, who had a stroke a few years back and so now walks with a pronounced limp/shuffle, good old George had stepped down into the crosswalk and was slowly hobbling across the road into which I wanted to turn.

Now I'll admit that maybe I didn't pull forward quite as much as I could have, but as far as I'm concerned yielding to pedestrians does not mean stopping your car halfway into the crosswalk so they're forced to walk around you. As far as I'm concerned, yielding to pedestrians means coming to a complete stop before your car even enters the crosswalk, and so I did.

For some reason this offended the driver of the car behind me. At first I wasn't sure if he'd flashed his headlights at me, but then he honked his horn, and then he flashed his lights again.

"Hello!" I said to myself with malicious glee. "Yielding to Pedestrians here. FUCKING wait!"

The horn honked again, accompanied by more flashing of head lights.

Now I don't know about you but when I'm being a courteous, considerate driver and yielding to pedestrians in a crosswalk, particularly slightly disabled pedestrians, specifically, slightly disabled pedestrians who I happen to know, and you're a rude, impatient, arrogant prick of a driver behind me honking your horn and flashing your lights, you've just accomplished the complete opposite of what you were trying to achieve; you've just made damn sure I'm going to completely yield to the pedestrian.

Which is what I did.

When there was enough room for me to pull forward, and even drive through behind George as he hobbled across the crosswalk, I didn't. I sat there. I would say I ignored the honking and flashing of lights, but in all truth they amused me as I waited to make sure George was well & truly clear of my path before finally driving through behind him.

Yes, I deliberately pissed this other driver off, but I don't care. I don't honk at drivers blocking my path just because I want to turn and they want to go straight ahead. If you don't want to sit behind me while I yield to pedestrians, don't drive in MY lane. It's that fucking simple.

New monitor

Ok, so it's not new, we've had it for a couple of years now. But it's never really been used as a monitor until recently.

Say hello to my little friend ;)

(If you click it, it gets bigger ;)

IT'S ALIIIIIVE!!!

This weekend I dug out two old PCs which I seemed to recall had died on us (several years ago), warranting the purchase of new PCs.

Contemplating making one working PC from the two, I pulled the sides off both boxes and took a look inside. I know my way around the inside of a case, and I'm also pretty efficient at salvaging dead PCs, so one look was all it took for me to realize that I was lacking several critical pieces, like RAM, and hard drives.

Fortunately I'm also a hoarder, so the RAM sticks and hard drives which no longer resided within these cases were still within my possession. As were several old Video Cards which I'd burned out (or so I thought) playing games that were a little bit too graphic intensive for them. I'd need one of those video cards because the mother board of one of those PCs does not have an on-board GPU.

But first on the agenda was upgrading my daughter's PC. She got 50% more Ram and a new (old) video card. Old, but still a two generation upgrade over what she had. I also uninstalled AVG. As much as I like anti-virus programs they tend to bog older systems down (as well as some newer ones). Her computer definitely seemed to run a lot faster with those simple changes. Cost? zero dollars.

Then I turned to the PCs. The first thing I noticed was of the remaining RAM sticks, the two largest were two 512MB sticks and they would only fit one of the MoBos. So it got a full Gig of RAM. I also dropped in one of my two 40GB HDD then, out of sheer curiosity, plugged it in and fired it up. To my amazement not only did it work, but it booted up into Linspire.

ASIDE: Earlier this week at my mate's house we watched United which he'd...er...borrowed(?) from a certain website which let you download...borrow. I did say borrow. So this website lets you borrow all sorts of movies which, if you've got a TV hooked up to your computer, rather than watch these movies on your piddly little computer monitor you can watch them on a much bigger screen (such as that found on a 50" Plasma TV). We already have Netflix, which lets us stream movies through our BluRay player, except that Netflix's 'online' service is sadly lacking. It does have a reasonable selection of some older movies, and some of the newer releases, but for the older or more obscure classics, and the latest releases, you still have to request a physical DVD. I understand what they're doing, but I still think it sucks.

So I hooked up this new PC with Linspire to my 50" Plasma, booted it up, and the POST loading screen came up, followed by the Linspire loading screen, and then? As it booted into Linspire's desktop, my TV screen went dark and the words Invalid Format began floating around the screen. Having encountered this situation before with the BluRay player I knew what was going on so I hooked up a monitor to the Linspire machine to set its resolution to one of the handful of true 16:9 widescreen resolutions. Except Linspire didn't offer any of those particular resolutions to me. Yes, I was using a widescreen monitor, but even when I told it to show me resolutions not supported by my system none of the 16:9 resolutions were listed.

Fortunately I had a second 40GB HDD so I unplugged the Linspire HDD and plugged in the second one. It booted up into Windows XP (as it should; I only have a 98 SE CD, and an XP Pro CD), and XP let me set the resolution to a proper 16:9 resolution. Unplug the monitor, plug in the 50" and the Windows desktop appeared larger than life (that's assuming you're smaller than 50", which I'm not, so technically it's not larger than my life, but I digress).

I unplugged the LAN cable from the BluRay player and hooked it up to the PC, which was good for updating the video drivers, but not so good for the BluRay player. But one of the other gadgets I had in my possession, which I had no idea why, or how long I'd had it (years, I'm guessing), was a 5-port Switch. As I'd gone through my box of PC Bits & Pieces I'd come across the Switch and despite not recalling ever seeing it before and not being 100% sure what it was, in typical Bloke-fashion I'd thought to myself, "I might be able to use this." A quick Google search revealed that indeed I could use it, and for the purpose I'd had in mind, too. Back into the box of Bits & Pieces I went where I extracted two 6' CAT5 cables. Plug the LAN cable into the Uplink port on the Switch, plug in both 6' cables then plug their other ends into the BluRay and the PC, and now both machines were online. Cost? Zero dollars.

Finally I turned to the last PC. This thing is old. It has an Athlon 1.2Ghz CPU. Years ago that was fast. Now? Not so much. It also only takes PC133 RAM. I had, according to their stickers, two 128MB sticks of PC133. I plugged them in, plugged in the Linspire HDD, and one GeForce MX4000, being the fastest of the old video cards I still had. It all booted up, except the Linspire HDD wouldn't boot. Which made me wonder if Linspire was not on the Hard Drive itself, but buried in an EPROM chip on the other PC's Motherboard.

Fortunately I had my XP CDs handy, as well as an old DVD drive which I promptly plugged in. It was then a simple matter of installing XP, and catching up on some reading. Then downloading SP3 while doing some more reading.

The only problem is there's one essential part of a computer which I don't have any spares of, and that would be monitors. The first PC doesn't need one because it's hooked up to the 50" Plasma, but this second PC? It needs a monitor. It also needs a new MoBo, faster CPU, more (& faster) RAM, a faster Video Card, and a bigger power supply to keep all that stuff running. In other words, I need a new computer ;)

"This axe? Why, it's been in the family for generations. Had 4 new handles, and a new blade, but it's just as good as the day my great-grandpappy bought it, all them years ago."

And I thought they were tough

This morning I dragged the wife and kids out of bed at OMFG o'clock to come support me on my 5K Gladiator Rock 'n Run. Actually I didn't need to drag them out of bed. The wife claimed she had trouble sleeping last night (as did I, a little nervous I guess) so when the cat woke me up at my usual workday time of 4:30am and I realized I needed to use the loo, doing so woke up the wife, and she got up, even though there was an hour left on the alarm. I decided I might as well stay up too, and the boy was awake when I stuck my head in his bedroom door. So it was the only the bunny who needed waking up, and unlike a school morning, despite it being almost 2 hours earlier than her usual "wake-up" time, she was out of bed in seconds (vs the typical "I'm tired!" whine followed by rolling over and burying her head in her pillow).

After breakfast, and a 45-min drive we arrived at Irvine's Hidden Valley Park.

We also, eventually, managed to hook up with 4 of my coworkers, all who are a few years (or 10 years) younger than me. The original plan was to run together and help each other out, but when the first obstacle, a balance beam affair, split us up I was now running with a female coworker a few years younger than me, and a male coworker 13 years younger. The guy managed to trip himself up on the second obstacle, a tire run, and sprained his ankle, but he sucked it up like a true Gladiator, ran it off, and we continued the race.

When I noticed that my pace was a little faster than theirs I tried to slow down to stick with them, but eventually my competitive nature said "Fuck it" and I never looked back.

At the obstacle titled "The Fools' Spools" I leaped up onto the first one only to find the competitor ahead of me was slower than I expected. Instead of landing on top of it as he leaped off the other side I was forced to check my momentum or get a face full of arse. As I fell back I grabbed the edge of the spool to hang on and...Oh shit! My right tricep screamed at me that I was the fool! When I pulled myself back up onto the top of the spool I agreed with it, but I was doing this race to test myself, to push myself to the limit, not drop out at the first sign of an Owie! (Definitely a pulled tricep. I rubbed Bengay into it when I got back home but its still pretty sore, and will be for a few days. Meh. I'm a GLADIATOR!!!)

I vaulted over the remaining spools and finally caught up to one of my first two female coworkers (she's 10 years younger than me) at the muddy uphill slope, with a rope if you needed it to ascend, which I did (Ow, said my tricep. Shut up, I replied.) followed by a water slide back down to the cargo net. I managed to generate too much friction on the water slide (don't ask me how) and I found myself slowing down, then stopping 3/4 of the way down. Knowing other competitors were coming down right after me I tried to scoot down to the bottom of the slide but I wasn't quick enough and got nailed from behind by a competitor with a lower coefficient of friction. Fortunately that gave me the boost I needed to complete the slide. Unfortunately it provided me with too much momentum, and when I hit the muddy pool at the bottom I was forced to dive across it and roll out the other side.

It was only while standing in line at the cargo net that I realized I'd acquired a war wound from my spill, but being literally covered in mud from head-to-toe I could't tell how seriously I was hurt. And I do mean literally. My face was covered in mud but I couldn't wipe it off because my hands were covered in mud, and I couldn't wipe them off because every other part of my body was also covered in mud. I figured I was still standing and it wasn't hurting much so it can't have been serious. And it wasn't.

I don't look it there, but I was not the only one a little pissed at waiting in line for the cargo net/container obstacle. I was even more pissed when it was my turn and I finally climbed to the top, only to see scores of competitors running past the cargo container. "Cheaters!" I heard someone call out to them. "That line is too long!" one of them called back. Like that's an excuse. Enjoy your hollow victory, wannabe Gladiators!

Down the other side of the cargo container and on I ran with my female coworker, helping her across the vertical wall (she's considerably shorter than me) then sticking with her as we ran up, up, up the long hill. But when we came down the hill and she started to lag behind it was once again "Every Gladiator For Himself!" and I pulled away and left her behind. I never saw the second girl, but my first two coworkers found her, somewhere, because she finished the race with them, but that was long after I was done.

When I know my final time I'll post it, but for now I think I finished in approx. an hour.

A 5 kilometre race, through mud, over 14 obstacles, and I was the first AND oldest of my coworkers to finish. And I thought they were tough.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

My time: 47m 11.8s

Mens 36-42: 148/306 (I'll be 42 in August)

Mens Overall: 854/1819

Overall: 1367/3715