7 x 7 things

7 things about me:
1. I have a bald spot on the back of my head
2. I have a 2" long scar in the middle of that bald spot
3. I got the scar when I fell 15' out of a tree and landed on a concrete block
4. When I cast my mind back, I can still see the blood on my hand
5. I was maybe 4 to 5 years old at the time
6. I suffer from nerve deafness, but only in my right ear.
7. The nerve deafness is apparently because I had German Measles when I was a baby.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Travel to Europe
2. Buy and restore a late 60s Mustang
3. Spend time with my gandchildren
4. Attend another winning Richmond Tigers AFL game
5. See Richmond win an AFL Grand Final
6. See Richmond win an AFL Grand Final, in person
7. Retire to Australia

7 things I can do:
1. Play the guitar (not well, but I can play ;)
2. Sing
3. Read a book in a moving vehicle and not get sick
4. Give you the best foot rub of your life
5. Rock climb (climb anything)
6. Repair a hardware computer problem
7. Anything (ok, I can't really do everything, but I think I can)

7 things I cannot do: (these will all contradict "Things I Can Do" #7)
1. Major plumbing repair jobs
2. Run 100 metres in 10 seconds
3. Run a mile in less than 4 minutes
4. Fly an aeroplane
5. Compete in a Formula 1 race, as a driver, that is.
6. Ride the winning horse in the Melbourne Cup or the Kentucky Derby
7. Shoot a fox (had the opportunity, couldn't pull the trigger)

7 things that attract me to another person:
1. Humour
2. Sensitivity
3. Honesty
4. Faithfulness
5. Devotion
6. Committment
7. Physical appearance

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Jennifer Connelly
2. Amy Dumas (aka WWE's Lita)
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Lucy Liu
5. Catherine Zeta Jones
6. Denise Richards
7. Yancy Butler

7 Things I say the most:
1. I love you
2. Possibly
3. Potentially
4. Maybe
5. Yeah, yeah
6. Hang on
7. In a minute

Grand Final 2005

At the start of the fourth quarter the Sydney (formerly South Melbourne) Swans were up by just 2 points. The Eagles continued to apply the pressure they'd poured on in the third quarter, forcing the ball into their forward pocket. Then, for reasons unknown, after taking a clean uncontested mark, Sydney's Luke Ablett kicked across the Eagles' goal square, missed his team mate and gave the Eagle's Ben Cousins an easy mark and shot at goal from just 15 metres out. Cousins didn't waste the opportunity; he made the 6-pointer and the Eagles finally regained the lead. Two minutes later the Eagles kicked another goal, increasing their margin to 10 points and Sydney fans everywhere were reeling in shock.

Sydney's Barry Hall had been closely marked all game and had been relegated to a support role, but halfway through the fourth quarter the big man's strength showed through and he took a mark 50 metres out frfom goal. This was a crucial kick for Sydney but Big Bazza came through, the ball sailed through the goal posts and the Swans were back in the game.

Ten scrappy, hard fought minutes later, the Eagles had managed to add just 2 points to their total while the Swans had added only 1. It was the Swans' Amon Buchanan who kicked the next goal to put his team back in front by just 1 point. As the clock ticked down the Swans kicked and missed four more times, increasing their margin by only 5 points. They really needed another goal to give them some breathing space but it wasn't going to happen.

The Eagles never gave up and drove the ball back down to their end of the field. With the ball in their forward pocket the Eagles desperately needed a goal and they fought hard for every loose ball, every mark, every possession. The Swans knew just how important a goal was and they fought just as hard to prevent the Eagles from getting a clean possession and a chance at goal.

The entire Footy world held its breath when a kick from an Eagle boot sailed towards goal, but the ball fell short, was grabbed by a Swan and run over the line. The Eagles got 1 more point to their total but what they really needed was that 6-pointer. The Swans kicked the ball back into play and more hard, scrappy fighting ensued. The Swans couldn't clear the ball and it stayed inside the 50-metre line, within easy kicking distance of the Eagles' goal.

With just seconds left on the clock the Eagles were determined to kick a goal. This was the 2005 Grand Final and victory was within their reach.

And I was watching the game.

And I was barracking for the Swans.

And we all know my record, don't we?

We all know what happens to the team I'm barracking for when I'm watching the game.

A boot found the ball, sending it skywards. When it fell back to earth it was right in front of the Eagles' goal square and barely 15 metres out. A solid pack of players waited below for their chance to make history.

If the Eagles could take the mark, or even just get a possession and clear the ball, the Grand Final was theirs. The Swans knew this and were determined to make sure that didn't happen. Of the 18 players the Swans are allowed to have on the field, I think 15 of them were in that pack.

Countless hands reached for the ball as it came back down, but it was the Swans' Leo Barry who flew out of the pack and took the mark. Despite having a dozen Eagles players land on top of him, Barry hung on and the pack crashed to the ground. As the umpires blew their whistles and tried to sort out the mess the final siren sounded.

The 2005 Grand Final was over, and after a 72-year drought the Premiership Cup will once again grace the Swans' locker room, at least until next year.

A painful start to the morning

Amber woke me up at 4 this morning saying her name. Clear as a bell I hear her say "Amb-uh", which is how I say it. If I pronounced it "Amb-er" then I'd sound like an American. Which I am, of course. I was naturalized last year, but I'm also still an Australian. The most apt description is that I'm an Australian who thinks like an American.

So for the next 20 minutes or so Amber is in her cot, talking to herself and playing with her toy dog that goes "Wow! Wow! Wow!" "Pant, pant, pant.", etc.

She finally dozes off and I get back to sleep, only to be woken 30 minutes later when my alarm goes off. I gather my clothes and decide that with Amber only just getting back to sleep I'll get dressed downstairs. I head downstairs with an armful of clothes and half-way down I miss a step.

Fortunately I had both my legs out in front so there was no chance of wrenching a knee or breaking a lower limb, but I also had my clothes in my left arm so I had no chance of catching myself either. I think I slipped down a couple of steps, catching myself with my right arm braced on one step. My left elbow either hit the wall or smacked against the steps, which are carpeted so they're a little softer than wooden steps. But I now have carpet burn on my left elbow, my lower back is sore and I think I jarred my neck a little bit.

Did I mention a while back my neck was all messed up and clicking when I turned my head to the right and back? Well that finally went away after several repeated, loud, almost painful neck pops.

Now my neck hurts again and I really feel like I need to pop it. I don't think I should though. I don't think it's out of alignment (although that's possible) I think it's more that I just jarred it, and it needs time to recover.

What a great start to the morning.

I'm working on my regular day off for the next month or so to accrue time off for a vacation in November. So I'm at work today when I'd much rather have just crawled back into bed after falling down the stairs.

On a positive note, coz I believe in looking on the bright side, I'm heading out to Santa Monica this evening to watch the Aussie Rules Grand Final (think Super Bowl) with a good mate of mine who is actually a supporter of one of the two teams in tonight's game. Gonna be a late night. The game doesn't start until 9pm (2pm Saturday in Australia) and won't be over until at least midnight. Then it's a good 30-45 minute drive from Santa Monica back home afterwards. We're going to Santa Monica because there's an English Pub there which shows the Grand Final every year, and all the Aussies know this, so this is a communal thing as well.

I could just watch the game at home tonight but I'd miss all of the atmosphere that will be present at the Pub. I just hope for my mate's sake that the Sydney Swans win...and for mine too, coz they're who I'll be barracking for. Unfortunately, whenever I watch a game, the team I am barracking for almost always loses. Like 98% of the games I've watched, the team I've been cheering for has gone down. And I can't use this to my benefit and root for the team I want to lose, because we all know curses don't work that way. Despite what you're saying out loud, the curse knows what's in your heart, so the team you're secretly rooting for will still lose.

You might as well just be true to your heart, cheer out loud for the team you really want to win, and not be too disappointed when they lose like you knew they were destined to do.

Sight of the day

Downtown Los Angeles. Spring Street. The Bus Stop halfway between 5th & 6th Streets.

Approximately 6 ladies were standing at the bus stop, all had their hands over their mouths & noses, all had grimaces on their faces at some unknown but obviously despicable smell.

I suspect an odoriferous denizen of the streets was nearby, and his fragrance was not pleasing to these ladies. That or a street dweller had chosen that very spot to use as his toilet. The smell of ammonia or fecal matter can be rather overpowering on a warm day.

Los Angeles County Fair

I was talking with my niece last night and she was all excited that she was going to the Royal Melbourne Show next week. I told her that I was going to the Los Angeles Show the next day, which was today. Yes, I know it's really a County Fair, but my niece is Australian, and essentially the Royal Melbourne Show and the L.A. County Fair are the same thing, just in different countries.

Xinh came around early this morning and we convinced Liz that she wasn't staying at home. My knees have been killing me all week, and there was no way I was going to let Liz stay home while I went and walked all over the Fair grounds.

We got out to the Fair fairly (ha!) early, but not as early as last year where we had to line up and wait for the ticket booths to open. Like last year we also paid for VIP parking, $15 for a parking spot within 30 seconds walk of the entrance/exit, totally worth it.

The first ride JE wanted to go on was the giant slide, which had the name Euroslide.com on top of the launch platform, but there appears to be no valid website for www.euroslide.com ;)

We bought $40 worth of tickets to use for the rides, but the giant slide was not our first stop. Our first stop was the Lazer Tag game. It was pretty fun, considering it was just JE versus me :D As soon as Liz & Xinh upload their photos from today you'll be able to see how much fun we had :)

We walked through the Midway, played a few games, won a few prizes, before we got to the giant slide. JE & I went on it three times, chewing through over half of our tickets. We also had a turn on the Bumper Cars. Now I get it, I almost typed Dodgem Cars then, that's what Australians call them. See, I was dodging all of the other cars, whereas the Americans who call them Bumper Cars were bumping and ramming everyone else. So Liz told me to ram a car or two, so I did, and I think I almost gave JE whiplash. I blamed Liz for that ;)

Then Liz decides she wants to go on the Ghost Train/Haunted House so Xinh stayed with Amber while the three of us went on that ride. Bad idea, Liz. JE was ok with the first thing popping out at us, because the doors behind hadn't closed fully so it was still light. Then the doors closed, the lights went out, and the second "scarey thing" jumped up screaming, which really scared JE and he grabbed hold of me. I put my hands over his eyes but when we got outside he got upset with me, with me! for covering his eyes! I explained to him that the rest of the ride was very scary, just like the first bit. He accepted that, especially when he saw the three-story fun house, so I took him in that. Moving floors, very fast conveyor belts with holes at the end, a very long slide from the third floor down to the ground, it was a lot of fun, albeit slightly dangerous, or so I thought. The conveyors stopped and started at random, and they moved very quickly, I'd hate to be on one of them when it started up, especially given the deep depressions in the floor at the end of the belt, which you need to jump over or risk stepping in and potentially tripping up or falling over. I had to ride down the slide with JE, because it was somehow too big. This is the kid who went on the Euroslide (.com) three times, but he was scared to go down this enclosed, spiralling slide.

The "farm" was mentioned and JE decided that was where he wanted to go. We made it to the "farm", actually the animal barn where all of the show animals are on display. Of course we lost Liz and JE in there, so Xinh and I made our way outside. I had Liz's phone in my bag and when Xinh went to get a drink I saw Liz, so I ran up to her and passed Xinh getting a drink, but I didn't realize Xinh was right there. I figured I had the phone, Xinh had her phone, I'd found Liz and JE, best that I stick with them and we could call Xinh and tell her where we were, especially as I didn't go back to the seats out in the sun where we'd been just before but found us a table with chairs inside a small shed where they were setting up for a show or something. I started feeding Amber (who was very hungry by this time) and then Xinh called, or we called her, either way we managed to locate each other again.

After Amber had been fed we decided we needed to be fed too, so we found a BBQ Shack and got some real people food there. JE didn't want the Hot Dog we got him, he wanted a roast corn on the cob. To his credit, once we got one for him, he ate the whole thing. Amber had fallen asleep by now and Xinh wanted to ride the tram back to the exit, but the trams don't allow strollers on board unless they're folded up. Kind of hard to fold up a stroller if there's a sleeping baby inside ;) The two girls and JE rode the tram around the perimeter of the Fairground, and changed trams half way around, then caught a Trolley Car for the last leg. I made a beeline straight through the Fairgrounds for the exit, and got there before them...several minutes before them. In fact I got there before them by such a large margin that I actually called them twice (I took Liz's phone with me) to see where they were.

On my walk back back to the exit I was looking for the perfect person to be a nice guy to, and I finally found them. A father spending the day with his daughter received the last 8 ride tickets we had. It wasn't much, just a ride or two for them, but we were leaving and had no use for them, I figured someone else could use them and have some fun. I realize there are people in this world who would say "Screw them. These are our tickets. We paid for them. Why should we give them away to someone we don't even know, just because we're leaving the Fair and won't use them." I'm not that kind of person.

As we left the parking lot we passed all these cars full of people coming in. I understand that the Fair runs late into the night, but we were leaving at the hottest part of the day, and these people are just getting to the Fair AND it's totally crowded by the time we were leaving, and it was only going to get worse with all of these people coming in. By comparison, when we get there early in the morning the grounds are very empty, we can have an enjoyable time without having to deal with huge crowds. There's still crowds of course, just not as brutal as when we were leaving.

So, that was our day at the 2005 Los Angeles County Fair.

Understanding Realtor-speak

I believe some of my readers are looking for new places to live, so this little post may come in very handy. Now when the Realtor starts using their industry-lingo to describe your "Dream Home", you'll know exactly what they mean.

Dream Home = You? Afford this place? You're dreaming!

Wide Open Floor Plan = Previous owner removed supporting walls

Starter home = Needs a lot of work, see "Wide Open Floor Plan"

Must see to believe = Usually used along with "Starter Home"

Scenic view = Of the garbage dump/trailer park/prison over the back fence

Useful outbuildings = No inside toilet

Country-style theme = Wooden toilet seats, also see "Useful Outbuildings"
Much sought-after = Listed twice and still no buyers
You'll love it = No, you won't
Unique city home = Used to be a warehouse, buildings either side still are

Hamlet = Small, backwoods town. You'll never be a local, no matter how long you live there.

Charming = Tiny (room for Snow White, but none of the Dwarfs)

Cozy = Cramped (room for one of the Dwarfs)

Studio = Even smaller than cozy

And much, much more = we ran out of fake compliments

A very Bushy vacation

Please pay close attention to the following picture. Note the clarity and the detail in the photograph. Notice the crispness of the subjects in the foreground, and the slightly out-of-focus look to the subjects and scenery in the background.

If you're going to photoshop a picture, this is a perfect example of how to do it. While software tools exist to facilitate the merging of two photographs, as has obviously been done with this picture, it still takes skills to produce a piece of this caliber. Although it's obvious where the separation line between the two merged photos must be, the only visible indication is the slight blurriness of the water next to the tail of the fish. Yes, the subjects in the foreground are very clear compared to the slightly out-of-focus background, but that's not a flaw or a sign of a photoshopped picture; blurriness of the background is to be expected if the camera is focused on the subjects closest to the lens.

Whoever created this masterpiece really knows their stuff. I am very impressed.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, a very Bushy Vacation:

Fire in the hole!

I made two pathetic attempts to nail J, one of the girls in our office, with those soft, squishy, stress-release thingamabobbies (I have a light bulb and a star) and was picking them up off the floor between our cubicles when our Director came around the corner. Thinking quickly I claimed that J had thrown them at me. Usually a good sport our Director was oddly enough not amused. Of course J denied throwing them at me so I quickly quoted Shakespeare, stating that the lady doth protest too much. Our Director was still not amused. No more throwing of things, she said, as she walked past us and into the breakroom.

J came by my desk later and explained that the Director had not been in a good mood because J and A (another coworker) had been having rubber band wars last week and got caught. We're not talking about those pitiful little rubber bands; we're talking those 6 inch long, 1 inch wide babies. We're talking about the elephant guns of rubber bands. A had been nailing J all week, and J had been trying to get him back and succeeding as well as I had when I'd thrown my squishy, stress-release toys at her, so finally J loaded up two of these heavy duty rubber bands and let fly. Of course she caught A right in the back of the head just as our Director walked around the corner.

Our Director seems to have a knack of being in the wrong place at the right time...or is it the right place at the wrong time?

Claymation Legends

I totally want to see this movie.

The weekend in review

After spending the last weekend painting our stairway walls and ceiling, which required me to get on the step-ladder on the landing half way up the stairs and use a roller on an extension and still just be able to reach the ceiling, I was wiped out. Liz wanted to paint this weekend as well, she wants Amber's room painted, as well as the final stairway wall, but it didn't happen. We had a relaxing weekend instead :)

Saturday evening we went out with Liz's parents to a Chinese restaurant that is an old family favourite, called Mr. Chopsticks, located in a corner mall at Santa Anita & Lower Azusa in El Monte. Seems like we've been there at least once a month during the last 7 1/2 years, on average. The food is pretty good, and while they do have the Caucasian favourites, beef w/ black bean, orange chicken, kung pao chicken/shrimp, etc, they also have some more traditional Chinese dishes which are exceptionally yummy. I love their shrimp with walnut in orange butter sauce. We get it every time we're there. The check finally arrived at the same time as the "after dinner plate of oranges" and both were placed on the table next to me. Liz's mom reached across the table for the check so I picked up the plate of oranges and offered them to her. Well she was trying to get the check, but she wanted some orange too, so she took an orange and I went and paid for the dinner. They'd invited us out and intended to pay for dinner but I thought it would be amusing if we paid for it instead. Well I thought it was funny :)

Last night I joined my sister, her husband, and a member of their guild online in a dungeon in the World of Warcraft. That doesn't mean we were locked up. Think of Dungeon in a Dungeons & Dragons context. After we completed the Dungeon my brother-in-law and I set off to do some more quests, kill some more critters, and maybe go up a level. My sister's character is many levels higher than us so unless we need her assistance in a Dungeon (which requires several people working together) usually I'll just hang out with her brother-in-law, or my niece who has a low level character and likes to play with my high level Hunter/Ranger character and his pet Tiger.

After a good bit of questing I was standing by a tower in a low level area (lvls 10-20 normally quest there) when I saw two Horde Rogues (we were playing Alliance characters) come in and start killing the NPCs in the area. The server we play on allows Player vs Player action, but most people just group together and kill the computer controlled monsters or NPCs (NPCs also include the towns' villagers, blacksmiths, innkeepers, etc). When you attack one of these NPCs, you get flagged as a PvP character. Now what most of the newbies in the World of Warcraft do not realize is that a PvP character cannot normally attack you unless you attack them first, which switches your PvP flag on, allowing them to retaliate. My character was only lvl 18. The Horde players were ?? to me, but as I saw them kill a couple of lvl 60 players I figured they were lvl 60 themselves. My Hunter is a high level but still only lvl 48. I msgd one of my Guild members, a lvl 55 and told him of the situation, explaining that the Horde Rogues were killing the low level players, who were just doing what they thought they had to and defending the land from the invaders, and getting killed in one hit by players 4 times their own level.

*aside* When one or more players set out to harass other players by killing them and stopping them from enjoying their game, we call that Ganking or Griefing.

I wasn't the only one reporting to my Guild what was happening. I've been using my headset to talk to my bro-in-law as we adventure, which is way better than typing as we fight, especially in the middle of a fight, so my bro-in-law was also letting his Guild know about the Griefers, and I'm sure the lowbies getting ganked were calling out to their Guild members for help too. When two of my Guildies said they were coming in, I logged out and logged back in as my Hunter. By the time I got to the area where my lowbie character had been earlier the tables had been turned. There were a dozen very high level Alliance characters making mince meat out of the Rogues. While my Hunter would have been carved up by the Rogues if I'd taken them on by myself, as a support character I have some very useful anti-Rogue skills, such as a Hunter's Mark which prevents the Rogue from Stealthing (going invisible) which allows him to backstab you and potentially kill you in one hit. I also have a Flare ability which can be used to detect Stealthed characters if they're in the area where my Flare goes off. Now I felt for the little lowbie characters who'd been ganked by these Horde players, because when I first started playing I had exactly the same thing happen to me, and I felt compelled to fight back against these Horde players who'd dared invade our land, and I got backstabbed to death for my effort, several times.

Last night helped my brethren kill the Griefers five times, including one exciting chase half way across that area. I'd Marked the Rogue so he couldn't Stealth, set my Tiger on to him and cast Dash on my Tiger to give him an extra burst of speed, which helped him catch the Rogue. Being a Hunter I naturally have a Rifle, or at least as a Dwarven Hunter I have a Rifle. If I were playing an Elf I'd naturally have a Bow. As such, although the Rogue was far ahead of me, I was still able to get off a shot every now and then as we chased him down. I'm sure he didn't appreciate us running him into the ground then beating him senseless, because after we killed him he was last seen running for the hills back to his own lands.

With the fighting over I had to push myself away from the computer and take a big, deep breath and let the adrenaline run its course. I've been playing World of Warcraft for several months now, but killing real players (killing their characters, that is) is a HUGE rush. It reminded me of back in the day when my friends would come over and visit and my bro-in-laws would come by, and we'd all network our computers and kill each other multiple times in hour long Doom & Quake deathmatch sessions. The women folk would enter the room and hold their noses, apparently the testosterone levels in the room were too high for their sensitive noses ;)

This morning Liz took the little ones to her parents, then we bummed around for a little while until it was time to head for Long Beach and the Queen Mary. We joined Xinh and several of our friends who we haven't seen for the longest time for Brunch, which seemed a little more expensive than I remember, but maybe it's just that we haven't had Brunch there for some time. Apparently the Queen Mary is haunted, and as we were getting into our car afterwards liz said she heard someone scream like they'd seen a ghost, or perhaps they succumbed to the hype and thought they'd seen a ghost.

After we got home Liz had a nap, then we prepped Amber's room for painting, which involved moving her crib into our room for the next X days until the painting is done and the paint smell has dissipated. We discovered I had to remove our door in order to get Amber's crib into our room, but there's only two hinges on our door and the pins slide out very easy so it was a simple process to remove it and rehang it afterwards.

Now it's only 9:15, and I'm a little tired, and I've got work tomorrow, but am I going to go to bed now? Heck no, the World of Warcraft awaits. For years I've searched for the perfect game. World of Warcraft isn't it, because the perfect game doesn't exist yet, and it won't until we have fully immersive games a la The Matrix, but, World of Warcraft does come very, bloody close to being the perfect game :)

Funny signs

Just a quick post (not a real one) in an effort to bring a smile to someone's face, anyone's face, it doesn't matter. If you smiled at even one of these (or groaned) then I've made a difference and my cunning plan has worked ;)

I'm sure some people need this sign, they'd be the same people who need to be told not to use their hair drier while in the shower ;)


I guess they mean the other right.

So how do I get in then? And do I really want to get in? Is there also a sign at the exit that tells me not to exit there?


Well of course it is. That's just stating the obvious. It's all downhill after that.
"Cigarette? No? Ok, well, I guess I better be going. Got work in the morning. I'll call you."


This one speaks for itself :)



And you thought revealing the location of the Bat Cave was bad :)

Hope you all have a great day.

The Golf Ball, and Physics 101

The coefficient of restitution of the average golf ball is 0.6, meaning if we drop (u=0) the golf ball from a height of 10 feet (or 10 metres, doesn't matter) it will rebound to a height of 6 feet (or 6 metres), i.e., it will rebound to 6/10 of the height from which it was dropped.

If you throw the golf ball towards the ground (u>0) you will affect the proportional height to which it rebounds not because you have changed the coefficient of restitution, but because you have increased the velocity (v) at impact, however, it does not matter how hard you throw the golf ball, you will not affect its acceleration (a), you will only directly affect its initial velocity (u).

Acceleration (a) of the golf ball is dependent on two factors: gravity of 32 feet per second-squared or 9.8 metres per second-squared; and the drag coefficient imposed on the golf ball by wind resistance, which for this exercise we'll set at 0.5, a not unreasonable figure for a golf ball.

The weight of the golf ball is the industry standard 1.6oz, or 45.3grams.

You are standing on top of the building on the left. Your friend is standing on top of the building on the right. If you simply dropped the golf ball from a height of 170 feet, given a COR of .6, the golf ball should theoretically rebound to a height of 102 feet. It would therefore be quite feasible for you to throw the golf ball with enough initial velocity (u) to have the golf ball return to its initial starting point, 170 feet off the ground.

Between the two buildings you will notice there is a road and a sidewalk (footpath) upon which cars are driving and people are walking. At the base of your building (the left one) there is a parking lot. What with it being a Friday and the parking lot servicing a nearby government building (yours), there are an abudance of empty parkings spots within the lot.

Remember, you are standing on top of the building on the left, at the base of which is a reasonably empty parking lot. You also have a golf ball in your hand, in case you hadn't yet worked that out already. Your friend is standing exactly 100 feet away from you, on top of the adjacent 170 foot tall building.

Now, the question is, if you throw the golf ball down into the parking lot, 170 feet below, do you reckon you could nail one of the cars?

Yes, it's my Birthday

Or at least it was yesterday, August 30.

My wife kindly pointed out that I'm almost 40 years old. I like to think that I'm only 29, just it's the 8th time I've turned 29 ;)

Shooting the sheep

How fast are you?

House pulls no punches

Last night's episode of House was brilliantly engaging, or were there two consecutive episodes? I'm not sure.

A pregnant woman, late third trimester, is admitted to the hospital when, as is the way of House, she starts having problems. Serious problems. By the end of the show with the wife in a coma, Dr. House speaks to the husband and tells him that he needs his ok to operate on the wife. In particular, Dr. House needs the husband to ok a C-section to remove the baby.

The problem: if they perform the C-section, the wife will die.

The real rub: if they don't perform the C-section, the wife will still die, and so will the baby.

The husband reluctantly gives his approval, the C-section goes ahead, the baby is removed and, as predicted, the wife dies during the procedure. The final scene has the husband standing over his wife's body with an MD behind him telling him that his son is going to be ok. The husband looks at the MD blankly and doesn't really respond, he then turns back to his wife and leans down to hug her.

I'm not sure if there were two consecutive episodes last night or not, but another dilemma faced by House & Co. last night involved a 12-year old girl who had collapsed during a high-dive competition for her school. Like the pregnant mother, the girl also had various, unexplained things going on. In one eerie scene the girl freaks out because blood is coming out of her eyes. It's not so much coming out of her eyes as leaking from around them. With the lights in the room dimmed, Dr. Foreman (Omar Epps' character) shines a flashlight over her eyes while reassuring the girl that the antibiotic they gave her can turn her tears red, so it's not blood.

In a tight, very close up shot of the girl's face (very dramatic and spooky with the dim lights) the girl slowly opens her mouth and we see her teeth are pink. Dr. Foreman shines the flashlight into her mouth which is all red, "but that," he says, "that is blood."

House & Co. are stumped, until Dr. House asks who has come to visit the girl. He's told only her family. None of the school friends have come by. No one from the diving team (except the Coach). Not even a boyfriend. Suddenly it all clicks in Dr. House's mind and in the next scene he's running an ultrasound wand over the 12-year old's abdomen. The monitor shows she is pregnant, very clearly pregnant. Note - In all of the ultrasounds Liz had, I don't remember any of the images on our monitor being anywhere near as clear as the image we saw on House.

The girl tells Dr. House not to tell her parents that she is pregnant. He tells her they have to find out somehow and in classic House style holds up his fist and says "Play you for it. Rock, Paper, Scissors". The girl shakes her head and tearfully tells Dr. House that they never have to find out. It's obvious (at least to me) what she means, and she asks Dr. House to promise not to tell her parents.

Dr. House leaves her room and meets her parents, and while he doesn't tell them what's going on, he kind of does too. He says their daughter will be ok, she just has TTP.

They ask what that is.

He says it's Thrombotic Thromboctopenic Purpura. (Yeah, I looked it up :P)

They ask what that is.

He says it means she has a growth in her abdomen that they're going to remove, but then she'll be fine and she'll be able to go home in a few days.

They ask him what kind of growth. Can he be more specific. (They don't give up, this is their daughter, after all.)

Respecting the girl's wishes Dr. House shakes his head and says he cannot be more specific.

The final scene has the girl recovering from her "operation" in her hospital room, and the mother entering. We look in from the outside over Dr. House's shoulder, and although we can't hear the words, we know what the tearful daughter is telling her mother. She does not reel back in shock. There is no judgmental look; no criticism. All we see is the unconditional love a mother has for her child.

Wow.

video games are dangerous

Scientists have always been trying to prove that video games cause aggressive behaviour. Take it from someone who plays a lot of video games (and I mean A LOT), the scientists are right. The thing is, the scientists are not looking at the right games. I've played all three Dooms, I've played all three Quakes. I played the original Castle Wolfstein as well as Return to Castle Wolfenstein. I've played all of the GTA games back to the original, which was not the Grand Theft Auto released immediately prior to GTA:Vice City; and while that was released as GTA III there were actually three GTA games released before "GTA III". So trust me, I know what I'm talking about. The Scientists are barking up the wrong tree. I've played all of those games and none of them causes me to act aggressively; if anything, all of those games are actually very good ways for me to blow off steam and relieve stress.

But you know which games do make me want to act aggressively?

Puzzle games. Like Tetris. Remember that game? The one you could never win. The pieces just kept coming, faster, and faster, and faster, until you lost. Every. Single. Time. Sure, there was Tetris B which was released to make people feel good about themselves, where you just had to clear 25 lines and you'd "win" the game, but that was only because the programmers of the original version of Tetris were killed when their test-ape became extremely frustrated because he couldn't beat Tetris. Never. Won. A single. Game. Ever. And so the test-ape went bananas. Get it? He's a test-ape. And he went bananas. HA HA! So their test-ape went bananas (HA HA!) and killed the original programmers, and the people who came to clean everything up, they saw the Tetris game and said "Yeah, it's a good game, but you can never win, and that will drive people..." Bananas??? That's not as funny as a test-ape going bananas (HA HA!) So they made a Tetris B which you could "win" as long as you could complete 25 lines. But the original Tetris. You can't win that. No one can. Eventually, you get tired. I don't care how good you are. You're going to get tired. You're going to lose. Everyone does. So Tetris frustrates me. Tetris makes me want to crush, kill & destroy. Forget those violent, first-person shooters. They've got nothing on Tetris.

Platforming games drive me nuts too. No, not bananas. Do I look like a test-ape to you? I might be as hairy as one...but all resemblances end there. Now, where's my banana? I'm gonna kill someone if I don't get my banana!

See, platformers really bring out my aggressive side, too. Especially when the programmers devise a level so maniacal that you have to make several pixel-perfect jumps in a row, and if just one of your jumps is off by more than just one pixel (you know how big a pixel is? It's smaller than a bee's dick), if you're off by just one pixel your avatar falls to his death. And you have to repeat the level. From the start. And the pixel-perfect jumps you need to make? They're at the end of the level. And it takes you fifteen minutes to get that far. And you can't save. And when you finally get there again, you once more have to make several pixel-perfect jumps in a row, perfectly, or you have to start all the way over from the start, again.

Frustrating, isn't it?

Doom, Quake, Wolfenstein, GTA. Not frustrating. Not at all. Why not? Because I'm releasing aggression! I'm not building it up, getting more and more frustrated with the game! I'm not being driven into a murderous rage. I'm already in there killing computer people. I'm letting it all out! Oh, YEAH!!! And when I'm finished, I push myself away from the computer, and I let out that big, long breath I'd been holding...and. I'm. At. Peace. I am in my happy place. I have attained Nirvana (and I don't mean the extinct rock band).

But some games do kill. I'd heard about this from a friend. Couldn't verify it, until now, when, as is the way of The Net, while searching for one thing, I stumbled across another. I came across the story of a Korean man who played video games at a video cafe (like an internet cafe but dedicated to gaming) for 50 hours. Straight. Well, not quite straight. He got up to use the bathroom. But he forgot to eat or drink. What do you think happened? Yeah, he died.

I thought it was bogus, but there it is, on the MSNBC website. So it's true. Video games really are harmful. They can even kill you. And as Brooke Shields said, if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

A man's Backyard is his OWN Backyard

Saturday morning I got up, got John Edward his breakfast and played with him for a little while, then Amber woke up demanding her breakfast. That woke up Liz who decided to do some laundry and clean the garage a bit.

I decided that the sections of lattice had been sitting in the corner of the garage long enough so I dragged them and the 8' stakes out and went to work in the backyard. The goal was to erect a 2' high lattice across the top of the 4'6" stone wall along the back of our house.

The prep work involved cutting back the Bougainvillea in the north-east corner of the yard; an errant branch from the neighbor's Lemon tree; and the Bottle Brush tree which overhangs the stone wall. Sidenote: I just noticed (and I recall from back home) that the Bottle Brush is technically a shrub, although our Bottle Brush appears to be of the tree variety and is easily the 15' tall as mentioned in that website. I wonder, if I cut it right back, if it will survive and become a beautiful shrub, as opposed to the tall but scraggly tree that it is today.

So I did all that, then endeavored to get the first of the stakes in between the stone wall on our side of the yard and the brick/stone wall on the neighbor's side of the yard. There's a small gap between the two walls there, I don't know why there are two stone walls adjacent to one another, perhaps because (as I found out on Saturday) the walls are made out of stone blocks which look great from one side...but look like crap from the other side. So there are two, adjacent, stone walls, with a small gap between them. Now the gap was large enough for me to get the first stake in, but only if I carefully positioned it between the pieces of mortar and the chunks of stone sticking out into this small gap. I had envisioned the stakes going all the way to the ground between the walls, but this wasn't going to happen with the first stake. I did manage to get it in to a depth of approximately 2'. I could have got it in further, but it required the stake to be inserted at a severe angle, which did not appeal to the eye. At least not to my eyes. That was really the only stake I had problems with, all of the rest went in fairly well.

There was also a bunch of trash down between the walls, including a square of carpet. I have no idea why it was down there. I guess the builders were too lazy to carry the small square of carpet (small meaning approx. a 2' square) to the dumpster, so they shoved it down between the stone walls. One of the stakes was meant to go right where the carpet was, it ended up going a few inches to one side instead. I overlapped each section of lattice by a few inches as I went (to give the whole thing stability and strength), with the result that at the west end of the stone wall, underneath the Bottle Brush, the lattice ends while the wall continues for another 8 to 12 inches. I do have another 8' section of lattice, and I could have cut off a small section and concealed this gap, but I figured it's tucked away in the corner, it's fairly unobtrusive, and the Bottle Brush conceals that corner anyway. Plus, that corner is an important part of my plan.

In that important corner is a large pot. A couple of months ago (back in June, before we went to Australia) I planted a few clippings from the Ivy growing out next to the complex's dumpster. Two of the clippings died; the third survived and is growing like crazy. I had a couple of small stakes in the pot because Anzac liked to get up on top of the pot and sleep inside it...on top of any plants I had growing in there. No, this is not why two of the clippings died :P

The surviving clipping was growing up, as Ivy likes to do, and had wrapped itself around one of these stakes a couple of times, until it got to the top of the short stake at which point, unable to support its own weight, it sagged down in a pitiful "I need a taller stake" kind of way. I painted a 4' length of plastic tube a nice green color (coz it's going to be there to stay) and replaced the short stake with this much longer stake, which leads up to the newly installed lattice section. The Ivy will eventually grow up this stake, over onto the lattice, then spread like crazy down the lattice where it will eventually meet up with the Bougainvillea, which I'll be training to grow across the lattice from the other end. The Bougainvillea has these beautiful purple flowers, the Ivy has these awesome yellow and white flowers. Eventually (it might take a year or two) there's going to be a 2' to 3' wall of green across the top of the 4'6" stone wall enclosing our backyard, which will give us a very secluded and private oasis, with lots of pretty flowers :)

Not only will this make our backyard considerably more private, but I believe it will also greatly increase its desirability to any future, potential buyers. When you live in a townhouse/condominium, sharing your space with the other owners, the space that belongs just to you, I think you want that space to be all your own space. You don't want the neighbors' prying eyes peering over the top of the fence into your yard. You don't want to look out your kitchen window and look over the fence into the neighbor's yard, especially if the neighbor is out there looking right back at you...and you're standing there washing dishes...in your birthday suit.

No, if you have a backyard, even if it's just a backyard in the middle of suburbia in the middle of a townhouse complex, you want that backyard to be your space and only your space. You want privacy in your inner sanctum. In a year or two, or however long it takes for the Bougainvillea and the Ivy to meet in the middle, we'll finally have that privacy.

I don't know about you

But for some reason I find this image just a little disturbing.
Perhaps being that it's from an internet ad...for Yahoo eMail no less.

multi-regional DVD players

In the world of DVD players, America would like to think it's the King, hence giving itself Region 1 out of the 6 global regions. The rest of the world appeared to play along, but they really just ignored America's pretentiousness. Not realizing (or perhaps not caring) how much of a bastard they were being, the movie studios (20C Fox, Universal, etc) took the DVD manufacturers to court and prevented them from manufacturing multi-regional DVD players, at least they did so in the U.S. Thus anyone who travels regularly to other countries outside the magical "Region 1" and purchases legitimate copies of DVDs (I'm not talking pirated stuff, I'm talking about going into a real store in another country and buying an authentic, copyrighted DVD) on their return to the "Land of the (not so) Free" is forced to either play the DVDs on their computer, or purchase a DVD player that has been chipped by a third party, which voids the warranty but turns it into a multi-regional DVD player.

I suspect the other countries have done what Australia (appropriately known as The Lucky Country) has done, and that is they have accepted that they are Region 4 (well, Australia is), produce movies on DVD encoded for Region 4, but when the DVD manufacturing companies make their DVD players, they make them universal players, i.e, multi-regional players. So Australians (and people from countries other than the Land of the (not so) Free) can travel to other countries, as people often do, purchase DVDs in those countries, and return home to watch their newly acquired DVDs on their multi-regional DVD players, which come with warranties because they're legitimately manufactured multi-regional DVD players.

Now I have several movies from Australia, which I bought in Australia, and hence they're Region 4. For a while I was able to watch them on the cheap $40 DVD player (some no-name brand) I bought from K-Mart exactly for this purpose. The problem was, I had to repeatedly press 1 on the remote as the DVD loaded in order for it to play from Track 1, (2 to start at Track 2, etc) and once the DVD was playing the remote was useless, the controls were useless, no FF, no Pause, no Menu, nothing. The only thing that would work was the Open/Close button. This was fine for watching movies from start to finish, but I recently acquired the 2 DVD set of Lano & Woodley's TV Show, and when I pop the disc in my player and press 1, I get to watch the first episode on the DVD, which plays, gets to the end, then presents me with a menu of sorts asking if I want to watch the next episode. As my remote no longer works after the DVD starts playing, I cannot press Enter and watch the next episode. Repeatedly pressing 2 as the DVD loads doesn't work either, that just takes me partway into the first episode, as does pressing 3, 4, 5 & 6.

I contacted a couple of the DVD manufacturers here in the U.S. and discovered that the Land of the (not so) Free allowed the movie studios to make it verboten (I specifically chose that word) for DVD manufacturers to produce multi-regional DVD players, unlike The Lucky Country (and others) which recognize that the world doesn't end at their own borders.

To cut a long story short, I started researching multi-regional DVD players and found a plethora of third-party companies which chip and make multi-regional DVD players. The first website I visited had a lot of top quality chipped players available, but they had a dodgy shopping site. When I clicked the Purchase Me link, I was redirected to a website belonging to someone in Scotland. If I wanted to purchase a DVD player from someone in Scotland I wouldn't have gone to the website of a company in Illinois, USA.

Then I discovered that Amazon.com (yes, Amazon.com) sell multi-regional DVD players via partner companies. The beautiful part of this is you are shopping through Amazon, so your purchase is protected by their Buyer Protection Plan! Awesome!

Liz's birthday was a couple of months ago, and I bought her a flat panel LCD Monitor. My birthday is coming up real soon, and my darling wife went and bought me a multi-regional DVD player! I'd already picked out the one I wanted (a Toshiba model) and let her know I wanted it AND SHE BOUGHT IF FOR ME!!!

Now I can watch all of the Lano & Woodley episodes, not just the first one on each DVD!
And I can watch all the extra stuff on my other DVDs too.
Now I won't be so reluctant to buy some cheap DVDs when I'm in Australia next time :D

I love my wife :)

Pooping babies, and stupid fish

Amber has gone off bottles and is now eating A LOT more solid foods, or at least as solid as jars of baby food can be. This means her nappies (diapers) are not as full of pee as they used to be, but she has turned into a veritable pooping machine. Almost every nappy has poop in it. The good side of this?

"What can possibly be good about this?" I hear you say.

Because she's on "solid" foods, her poop is no longer a runny mess, but just one big solid chunk. The down side. It seems to stink a whole lot more.

Too much information, you say? What do you mean by that?

(insert)Evil Laugh(/insert)

part deuce
One of the goldfish seems to have gone a little whacko. It lies on the bottom of the tank, on its side, then flaps around turning cartwheels and other sorts of non-fish-like manuevers that clearly indicate it's gone a little crazy in the head. I thought it was dying last week, but it survived, but at what cost?

The other goldfish, the big one, the fat one, Mr Piggy (I just named him right now) who I'll also call Stupid Fish, is such a pig. When I put food in the tank he swims to the top of the tank and gobbles up as much of the food as he can before it gets pushed underwater by the stream from the filter. Once enough food gets pushed underwater (I don't know how much "enough" is, it's "enough" in Mr Piggy's stupid little fishy mind) Mr Piggy heads down to the bottom of the tank and starts gobbling up the food down there as fast as he can. Meanwhile Mr Whacko (the brain damaged goldfish) swims around in circles, sideways, while lying on the bottom of the tank; swimming repetitively over the top of a flake of food before collapsing exhausted next to it; which is when Mr Piggy comes down, shoves Mr Whacko aside and gobbles up the flake of food.

I noticed earlier Mr Piggy was swimming around with his mouth open. He looked a little upset. Now despite Mr Piggy getting way more than his share of the food I put in their tank, so much so that he's twice the size of Mr Whacko, Mr Piggy is such a pig that he sucks up the stones at the bottom of the tank and spits them back out again looking for even more food, which I realize is a completely natural fishy thing to do. I guess you can call it natural selection, because Mr Piggy sucked up a stone that was too big for him. Now the stone is not so big that Mr Piggy wasn't able to get it inside his mouth, but it's so big that once Mr Piggy got it inside his mouth, he wasn't able to spit it out. So Mr Piggy has a stone stuck inside his mouth. So he can't eat until one of two things happen (actually three things but that third thing will result in him not eating ever again). Mr Piggy has to either somehow manage to swallow the stone (which is probably as bad as the third thing which I didn't mention) or he needs to spit the stone out.

I have a feeling that in a couple of days, maybe less (maybe more, his fat might keep him alive longer) Mr Piggy will be floating belly up. If that happens, I think it'll be time to give Mr Whacko the old flush-ho as well, then I'll start all over again with a new set of fish. Maybe a small school of tetras, which are way too small to attempt to eat the stones at the bottom of the tank, but a school of tetras would be nice.

And if you're wondering why I don't do something about Mr Piggy before the third thing happens, the only possible thing I could do for him (other than making the third thing occur even sooner) is take him to the Vets, and I'm sorry, but he's a frigging goldfish. I'm not spending god knows how much money at the Vets for him to even attempt to remove a stone from a goldfish's mouth. I told you, it's natural selection. Stupid Fish shouldn't have sucked up more than he can chew.

(insert)funeral dirge(/insert)

*update*

I checked on Mr Piggy this morning and one of the two things had happened. I suspect Mr Piggy spat the stone out because I find it hard to believe he could have swallowed it.

Here's a picture of Mr Whacko (the brain damaged fish on the left) and Mr Piggy, looking as arrogant as ever. I don't know how a fish can look arrogant, but Mr Piggy manages to do it very well indeed.


You can click the picture to view Mr Piggy up close & personal.