Deadmines, how it should have been

After signing up via the LFD Tool I still did not get straight into a Run, and actually had time to clear the Defias camp west of SH, and even make a run around the farm (I had the Defias Bandana, and the Defias Trapper quests) before the Ready check popped up.

This time I had a Shaman on Heals, and a Mage with two Druids, and the run was smooth. Everyone let me do the Pulling and it wasn't fast although I deliberately pulled multiple Miners, and chain pulled a few Goblins, HoR pulling a second (& later a third) so they each arrived just as the previous Goblin went down. At the bottom of the Foundry's ramp we unintentionally grabbed a few too many Goblins and I had my work cut out for me trying to maintain Aggro using nothing but Judgements, HoR, and Righteous Defense. Fortunately nobody died and the Shaman even commented that she was having fun healing.

Smite was no problem, nor was Capt. Greenskin, or even Van Cleef. There were no wipes or even deaths (except among the Mobs ;) and no idiots with Heirloom gear who think they're King Dick. Just 5 people who knew their roles, did was expected of them, and got the job done in an efficient if not expedient manner.

If I haven't said it yet, I will now; I am really enjoying how easy the LFD tool makes it to get an Instance run together.

The Deadmines PUG from Hell

I wanted to have a go at Tanking the lower level Instances to see what I'd missed so I rolled a Draenei Pally (because Draenei and BElfs get a lot more Green gear from low level quests). I couldn't use the LFD tool until 15 but I waited until 16 (when I got Hand of Reckoning) to join the queue for RFC. After all, what good is a Tank without an actual Taunt ability, right?

RFC was a cinch, mostly because level 15 characters are starting to get a little too high for it and we were all 16 & up (inc. a 20 Warrior who signed up for DPS but acted like he was a Tank). Despite being a little on the high side for RFC I still got a reasonably nice blue 1H sword which was an upgrade even over my 2H weapon.

With RFC out of the way I hit Westfall in preparation for Tanking Deadmines. I could have just gone straight in via the LFD tool but I wanted the Van Cleef quest for the reward. (I also needed to stop at Stormwind to learn how to wield 1H Swords ;)

By the time I finally had the mission to kill Van Cleef I was level 18, which is a reasonable level to tackle Deadmines. But after signing up and volunteering to Tank I didn't get in straight away, and that was not something to which I had become accustomed. Then when I did get into a group one of the DPS declined the Run so we went back to the head of the queue.

Finally we picked up another DPSer and we were in. Myself, a 20 Warlock (in Heirloom gear), a Druid Healer, a Mage (calling himself Evilcaster), and a Rogue.

The Warlock was, to be brutally honest, an arse. And yet he was in Heirloom gear so he clearly should have known better.

While I was the designated Tank and thus should have been initiating the Pulls, the Warlock was doing his own thing and grabbing Aggro on multiple Miners. I was fighting to grab Aggro back when the inevitable happened. The Warlock drew too many Miners, along with a couple of Elite Defias Mobs, and we Wiped.

In Rhahk'zor's room before I could pull the Warlock sic'd his Voidwalker onto one of the Defias guards. I picked up Aggro on Rhahk and we managed to down the Ogre boss but it was a close fight. The Warlock then went missing. Not AFK, I mean he ran off. When he returned he claimed he'd gone to Solo the Pat that comes after Rhahk is defeated. By now that should have been more than enough signs and yet we continued on.

In the Smelting room we fought our way down the ramp while I fought the Warlock for Aggro. At the bottom of the Ramp I tried to carefully pull the nearby Goblins while the Warlock did his own thing, which meant running off and Aggroing the entire room.

"What the hell is he doing?" I thought to myself as he died, the Goblins swarmed us, and we Wiped again.

And then it appeared in Party Chat.

LEEERRROOOOOYYY JEEEEENKINNNNNSSSS!!!!
DAMN MAN THAT SHIT WAS TIGHT!!!

Yes, he actually typed that.

I got the Spirit Release and realized the 'Lock had Soulstoned me. And if I'd been in a better spot we might have been okay, but no. I'd tried to save the day and was in a bad spot to SS Rez.

After waiting for the Goblins to rearrange themselves I managed to Rez w/o attracting attention, but as I tried to Rez the Druid a Goblin spied me, summoned his little robot helper, and attacked. I took him down and was slowly working on his Robot when another Goblin heard the commotion and joined the fray, summoning a Robot of his own. I fought valiantly but to no avail and died a second time, and this time had no choice but to Release and run back from the GY.

On the way back in to the Instance I right-clicked the Warlock's profile and selected "Vote to Kick", and the message popped up "You are dead."

Crap. And because I'd SS Rez'd then died a second time, by the time I got back inside the group were some distance ahead of me.

Again I right-clicked the 'Lock and selected "Vote to Kick".

"Not in combat."

WTF???

I selected the Warlock and sure enough, he was targeting a Goblin. I made it back to the group as they finished off Gilnid and the Goblins. The door behind him opened and the 'Lock was the first player through. This time I was not surprised to see him round up a whole mess of Miners and Defias and cause yet another wipe, and just like that I was dead again.

As we ran back to the Instance our number was suddenly reduced to four and I could not believe my eyes. After causing multiple wipes the 'Lock had dropped group.

What an arse!

On the plus side I was now Party Leader. Awesome. I know Deadmines like the back of my hand. I'm Tank AND Party Leader. There's only four of us but I was pretty sure we could finish this. (In retrospect I should have re-entered us into the queue and picked up another DPS, but I did not do that. It's a learning experience though, right?)

I immediately typed in chat, "Thank heavens he's gone, because as soon as we were in I was going to Vote to Kick him!"

LOL was the only reply, from Evilcaster no less, who would actually prove to be a decent Mage when not being eclipsed by an idiot 'Lock.

The Druid and the Rogue remained silent, at least until the Rogue complained about her armor and weapons being broken. This was understandable because for some reason, every single time she Rez'd, she had Resurrection Sickness. It was only on our last Wipe that I realized she was not running back into the Instance to Rez, but Spirit Rezzing after each death. Oy vey!

Then when she ran to loot Smite's Treasure Chest not once but twice (after I Rez'd her and in spite of my saying "Wait!"), I realized we were running with a very young player or someone on their first Alliance toon...or both.

On the Rogue's second death the Mage followed the plan that I'd already announced, being Sheep one of the Guards and keep it Sheeped while we killed the second guard, then Smite, then the Sheep.

I Rezzed the Rogue yet again and seeing her run immediately to Smite's Chest for a third time explained that it was Smite's chest, not ours, we couldn't loot it. She was not happy.

We slowly killed our way up the ship and near the top, with the Rouge dead yet again (this time having fallen off the gangway and been killed by a Troll, or so she said), I saw Capt. Greenskin and his posse stroll past above us, stop, then start running back to the ramp down to our level.

"Follow me!" I typed (and thank heavens I'm a proficient typist. "Quick! Onto the wheel!" and I ran to the paddle wheel and leaped up onto it.

The Druid made it on with me but the Mage was a little slow. After killing him Capt. Greenskin's crew pursued us to the wheel and I watched, puzzled, as they stood on the gangway for several seconds and then...the Druid died. Just like that. I thought I saw a puff of flame on Greenskin as the Druid died, and with that Greenskin & his crew ran back to the top deck and continued patrolling.

Still not yet back the Rogue announced that she was going to repair her gear (which I'm pretty sure was almost all Red by now) while I rez'd the Druid & Mage. We established a plan to take out Greenskin, and after clearing the final ramp ran back to Rez the Rogue who had died yet again while trying to stealth in past a Pat.

We returned to the ship, made our way back up to the top, and following our strategy Capt. Greenskin & his posse died without a hitch. Now all that stood between us, victory, and that Deadmines Achievement was Van Cleef.

Knowing he comes with two Mobs (and respawns two more at 50%) I outlined our strategy then pulled him, and things were actually looking good right up until the Druid ran out of Mana and the Heals stopped coming. I died, then the Druid died, then the Rogue dried. With Van Cleef and one Mob left the Mage gave it all he had but it just wasn't enough. Van Cleef had less than 100hp left when the Mage finally died. (I really should have picked up a 3rd DPS, so being Party Leader this defeat was nobody's fault but my own.)

After running back to the Instance and seeing full respawns I realized it was time to finally call it quits, and when I told the other three I had to leave it seemed I was simply expressing what everyone was feeling and the group dissolved.

Does it change my mind about Tanking or cross-server PUGs and the LFD Tool? Hell no. We had one idiot griefer (but we moved past him) and one newbie (as opposed to a Noob!) who (I hope) learned from his/her experience with us, and yes, I spent a good part of my evening in Deadmines and didn't down Van Cleef, but I still had a good time (and learned a few things, too).

In the end I think this sums up PUGs. Some of them are great, some end in disaster, and some are just business as usual; successful, but not memorable. Sure, the arse hats are memorable and make you fear the PUG, but they're also few & far between, and if you let them keep you from PUGing Instances you're really only hurting yourself. After all, it's your $15. Why let someone else control your game?

Awesome Maraudon Run

A full clear, including Rotgrip and Gizlock, with just one Wipe.

After downing Celebras the Cursed our Hunter claimed it was his bedtime and logged off. Up until then it had been a very smooth Run so we decided to push on and 4-man the rest, but as we cleared our way to Landslide tragedy struck.

While fighting one of the many trios of Stegosaurus, a roving pair of Earth Elementals aggroed onto our Shammy Healer, and before I knew what was happening he was dead. I grabbed Aggro and the Shadow Priest tried to take over Healing but a second Pat of Elementals joined the fray and with 3 to 1 odds (against us) we were quickly overwhelmed.

Then, while running back in, both myself and the Shammy (who claimed to be on his first Toon, and just might have been, too) got lost, and we were forced to wait for a Rez before we could get back underway. This time the Dinos went down without a problem and when the Pats appeared I grabbed Aggro and we smashed them as well.

The rest of the run was a piece of cake.

Landslide gave up his Helm of the Mountain, which I Needed, won uncontested, and immediately equipped. The Princess was also good to me and upon her death bed presented me with a new pair of leggings. With her down the Shadow Priest thanked us for the run then bailed.

Fortunately the Shammy & Druid stayed behind so we leaped off into the water and took out Rotgrip, who dropped his cloth Shoulders. The Druid & Shammy rolled Greed while I passed. We then fought our way to Gizlock and a prolonged battle in which the Druid ran out of his fire and into a nearby group of Dinos, where she naturally died. I told her not to Release and with the Shammy healing me one-manned the Goblin Boss to his slow but inevitable death, after which I Rez'd the Druid.

I was hoping that by not Releasing she'd be able to loot Gizlock, and for my consideration toward my fellow player Karma smiled on me and Gizlock offered up his Shield. The Shammy was keen to roll Need on it but when I mentioned I'd like it he graciously passed and let me have it, uncontested.

With a new Helm, Leggings, Shield, and a Fiery-enchanted Jang'Thraze, my Pally is looking more and more like a real Tank.

The (almost) Indestructible Paladin

After finally finishing Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box (a tragic, bitter sweet ending, and I'll say no more about it) it was too late to get a group so I ventured into Maraudon. Yes, all on my own.

I had a collection quest and I'd read that it was now possible to get the Drops outside the Instance, but the only Mobs that seemed to drop the Crystals were 46 Elites, and they were few & far between. When I ran across the portal into the Instance itself I decided nothing ventured, nothing gained, and in I went.

The Mobs were mid 40s Elites, just a level or two below me (at 47) but they were single Mobs and I already knew from the outside encounters that I could take them, and so I did, and one by one I began collecting the Crystals. I do plan to Tank Maraudon but if I get the collection quest out of the way first then I won't be competing with my party for Drops, so Soloing these quests is actually a smart (& considerate) move.

I also discovered I could very easily solo a second collection quest I had, so I began doing it too.

The only Mobs that gave me trouble were the Oozes. Slow moving and traveling in pairs they're very weak to Ranged DPS, but get close and their Nature-based melee attacks pack quite a punch. As a Paladin I don't have a lot of Ranged abilities, I have some but not many, but I was still able to slowly kite the Oozes around while dragging them through my Consecrate spell and hitting them with the occasional Judgement and Exorcism. Not even the pairs of Dryads that patrol the caverns gave me as much trouble as did the Oozes.

Eventually I had just one Drop to collect, and that was when I made a mistake. The plant I needed to revive (to get the Drop) was in a small pit, but the pit was filled with Oozes. Not just a couple, there seemed to be at least 6 of them in there. Rather than advancing deeper into the Instance and look for an easier plant, I foolishly jumped down, revived this one, then discovered getting back out the way I'd come in was impossible. While trying to run out through the Oozes I got dazed and almost before I could blink I was staring at the Release button.

Crap. As a Paladin, dying is not something to which I'm accustomed.

I released and ran back in. Fortunately I'd revived the plant before dying (an embarrassing death, so we shall speak of it no more) and so the the quest Mobs I needed to kill had spawned. Unfortunately they'd spawned in the pit full of Oozes, so there were LoS issues while trying to get off HoR. Fortunately I only aggroed the one Mob and it emerged from the Pit to quickly die to (the now Fiery-enchanted) Jang'thraze the Protector (because nothing says "defense" like a flaming sword ;)

With my collection quests now completed I headed back to turn them in, which dinged me 48. I still haven't Tanked ZF yet, so I need to do that before I level much more or I won't be able to get in via the new LFG Tool. I'm not working Friday so I can probably run ZF Thursday night. My only concern is the number of Caster Mobs in there, and those Trolls do like to run when low on Health, but at 48 and with a good Healer and DPS backing me up I'm confident we'll do alright. Stay tuned.

More adventures in Tanking

I decided to have a go at the Badland's Uldaman. It's an Instance I'm sort of familiar with but have rarely done, so I'm not terribly familiar with the trash Mobs or Bosses (and until last night I was still 'raiding' naked, with no Addons). Once again, almost as soon as I said "I'll Tank. Let's go!", the new LFG tool hooked me up with a group. Amusingly one of the DPS failed the Ready Check and got kicked out, sending us back into the queue, but with a Tank, Healer & 2 DPS in our group it took just seconds for them to be replaced and I was zoned into the Instance.

"Pull lots," came a whisper from someone in my party. I looked at their name, then moused over their icon. He was a Dranei Priest. I guessed he was our Healer.
"Okay," I whispered back.

The Buffs were being passed around as I started early by grabbing a sole Trogg who wandered into the entrance chamber. After downing him I applied my own Buffs, drank up, then got down to business.

The run went fairly smoothly except I picked up the Gni'kiv Medallion while someone else looted the Shaft of Tsol, and because we couldn't Trade across servers we had no way of creating the Staff of Prehistoria to summon Ironaya. In the caves beyond Ironaya's room we also got turned around and wound up near Entrance B and the Obsidian Sentinel, and so back into the caverns we went.

I was amused when the Priest asked us to hurry because he had a Raid to get to. Why sign up for a run if you've got a Raid scheduled not too far away? I guess he was expecting a faster run than what he was getting, although (IMO) it wasn't that slow (except for us getting lost). That was when Lady Karma slapped my face and I started to pull Spouse Aggro; we were going to the In-laws for dinner and now I needed us to hurry as well. Fortunately by now we'd made it to the final area with just a couple of Pulls between us and the Boss, so I knew there wasn't long to go.

Does everyone have Mana? Yes? Go. Go! GO! We rushed down the Ramp, killing everything that stood in our way. I did Uldaman years ago, with my Gnome Warrior Tanking. We'd wiped on the Boss because the stupid Rogue used his Combo points on Expose Armor, preventing me from applying Sunder Armor and being unable to hold Aggro on him Archaedas had run rampant over our group. It was not pretty.

This time I made sure I held Aggro, and despite constantly summoning reinforcements the Titan eventually fell. I completed all the quests I had, got the new ones, then was forced to burn my Hearthstone when everyone else dropped group and Ghetto Hearthed on me. But as I was eating with the In-laws it's not like I'd need to Hearth again any time soon.

The next day I decided to head back into Uldaman, but this time Solo. Now at 46 I figured I could take the smaller groups and get the Gems I'd somehow missed (for The Shattered Necklace quest). Prior to going in I downloaded and installed Titan and Atlas so now I would have an in-game Map of the Instance.

The going was slow but uneventful as I pulled larger and larger groups. After one massive battle where runners brought back reinforcements which almost resulted in my death (thank heavens I'd finally worked out what is required for a Pally to Bubble-Heal) I counted the bodies as I looted them and there were 12. Yes, they were 6 levels lower than my Pally (on average), but these were Elites, including a mini-Boss, not your run of the mill, garden variety Mobs.

This time in I picked up the Shaft of Tsol, so with the Staff of Prehistoria in hand and with Ironaya's room clear of trash, I decided to let her out to play. With around 15,000hp (6 times my own) it was a war of attrition that I eventually won, but not before the Iron Maiden engaged in some Dwarf Punting, kicking me from her room back into the entrance halls.

If the Priest had thought the previous night's run to be slow, he'd have died of boredom watching my Solo attempt. I gradually cleared the caves, found Grimlok, and this time got my second Gem. I also don't recall taking out Galgann on my other run, or if I just missed looting the Gem, but not this time around. Although I still had to look around for the sparklies, so maybe I just missed it last time. With the end in sight I pressed on and decided to see just how much of Uldaman I could clear.

Down the final Ramp I went with Golems and Dwarfs alike falling to my Crusader-enchanted Vanquisher's Sword. While I do have Jang'thraze the Protector (from when Shaun ran me through ZF) the 28-AP bonus on Vanquisher's would put the two blades on equal footing, except the enchant gives Vanquisher's a slight edge.

Outside Archaedas chamber I paused to consider the best Buffs for what I knew was going to be a very looooong fight. I decided Seal of Light and Blessing of Sanctuary were the order of the day, and hoped their sporadic and somewhat passive regen of my Health and Mana would see me through. Of my Auras I felt Retribution was my best choice, especially if Archaedas managed to summon multiple Mobs to aid him. And with that, I entered the room and began to release my foe.

As soon as he became clickable (instead of just scenery) I retreated towards the door and backed into a corner. Upon targeting the Titan I was actually a little daunted and wondered if I'd bitten off more than I could chew. Although he was 6 levels lower than me, he's still an Elite Boss with almost ten times my Health, and he summons Mobs to help him. Fortunately the combined damage from my Ret Aura, Holy Shield (w/ Mithril Shield Spike), & Consecrate meant his little buddies never lasted long. I didn't even need to target them but stayed on Archaedas the whole time.

As the Titan's health slowly dropped to where I began to think I might actually have a chance, a Golem appeared by his side. It was larger than the Dwarfs he'd been summoning and it didn't go down as quickly as them either. Slowly my own health began to drain away, then a second Golem appeared. With my health bar dipping dangerously low it was time to demonstrate just why people despise Paladins.

I popped Consecrate then...Bubble Heal! Then a second Heal! Now at full health I renewed Holy Shield then laid down another Consecrate. A third Golem appeared, maybe even a fourth, I couldn't tell; I was focused on Archaedas' health bar as it got lower and lower. I'd fought this fight just one night ago but couldn't remember what happened when he died. I hoped his death resulted in his summoned Mobs despawning.

Finally the Titan crashed to the ground and his minions did despawn. Not that I was worried about them, it just meant I didn't need to finish them off, too.

And just like that I'd Solo'd Uldaman. Yes, a nerfed Uldaman (versus its pre-BC version), but still not a walk-in-the-park Uldaman, not at 46. When I found I still somehow had a completed Staff of Prehistoria in my pack I decided to go back in using the LFG tool, but at 46 the game decided I was now too high for Uldaman. I'm also almost too high for Maraudon, another Instance I'd like to run, so with that I set off for Desolace to grab the Mara quests. By the time I got there and had rounded up all the quests it was getting late and like the night before I was once again drawing Spouse Aggro. It was definitely bed time. Mara will just have to wait.

I know some have lamented that the new cross-server LFG tool has taken away the social side of WoW, but IMO your Guild and server are there for socializing. If you want to kick back and relax then run an Instance with your Guildmates. If you want to get in, kick arse & chew gum without taking names, the LFG tool is a great addition to help people find Instance groups. It's also made the more out-of-the-way Instances like Maraudon and Dire Maul a lot more accessible, and I'm actually looking forward to running those in my 50s. IMO the LFG tool has breathed new life into lower level content, and people are now getting more WoW for their buck.

The Tank is in the House

Razorfen Downs, to be precise.

I took the plunge, grabbed 750G from the Guild Bank (I'm in a small guild with my sister, her husband, and an old college buddy), and bought the dual-spec thingy you can get at 40. I punched in my Prot build, then gritted my teeth and installed the 50g Mithril Shield Spike I'd just bought on the Green Shield I'd also just bought.

I switched to Action Bar 2 and populated it with the Spells/Abilities I thought I'd need as a Tank. I'm familiar with (or at least have read) the 969 Pally rotation, but that's for 80 Pallies; I'm 42. At this level my rotation turned out to be pull with HoR, cast Holy Shield, Consecrate, HS, Con, HS, Con, etc. with the occasional Judgement of Justice or HoR to stop/kill Runners.

It's only a few Spells, nothing like a Hunter's rotation. It can't be too hard, right?

I brought up the new LFG Interface and looked at it. I've got the Gear, I've set up my Action Bar, I'm a Tank now, right?

So what was I waiting for?

I felt I needed to put some "Tank-time" in first. I needed to be familiar with playing this way before I tried to actually be a Tank. Especially when other people were going to be relying on me.

I hadn't done SFK yet, not the whole thing. In my 20s I'd hit the courtyard for the Mats for my Pally Mace Quest but I hadn't completed the Instance. Being 20 levels higher than the Trash meant Soloing RFK should be a piece of cake, and it was. I think I only came close to dying once when I grabbed two rooms full of Mobs, including a Boss. (Or maybe that was the night before when I Solo'd Gnomer as Ret ;)

After killing Arugal and completing SFK I figured it was time, and I hearthed, sold all the crap I'd picked up, made sure I had plenty to drink (and boy! Would I need it!), then opened up the LFG window again.

No, I don't want to do a Random Dungeon, thank you very much. I've been reading up on RFD so...Specific Instance, select RFD. Check off "I'm prepared to Tank" and...I don't even think I had the option to "Join queue". I think as soon as I volunteered to Tank the only options were "Close Window" & "Enter Dungeon", because as soon as I hit the 'Accept' button the Ready Check popped up, and seconds later I found myself inside RFD.

Buffs? Pally Buffs. Blessings? There was a Warrior. I think I gave him Kings, or was it Might? I forget. Priest? Wisdom of course. Mage? The same. Shaman? Er...Wisdom as well? What if he's a Melee Shaman? Fuggit! He has a Mana bar, he's getting Wisdom, too!

"Who's Tanking?" someone asked.

"That would be me," I said, from my position on the floor (as if Dwarfs aren't short enough already. At least I was still as tall as the Gnome Warrior :P), where I was drinking my first of many Sweet Nectar pots.

I hadn't selected to Lead the Group (via the LFG window), just Tank, but the Tank still sort of leads, right? I looked around. Everyone looked ready. Mana bars are full? Check.

I typed, "Ready?" as someone yelled "GO! GO! GO!"

I took that as a Yes.

HoR to pull. Holy Shield. Consecrate, and the first 2-Mob pull died very quickly. I paused for a second as...the Gnome Warrior Charged into the next group with the other three players hot on his heels. Oh, okay. HoR again. HS again. Consecrate...again. It was chaos, but I seemed to have Aggro on all the Mobs. HS is up...Hit It again! And the second group died.

I rushed the third group. HoR. HS. Consecreate. Repeat (with HoR on the Runner) and...Low on Mana.

"Drinking," I said, as I guzzled another Sweet Nectar.

"You can pull more than that," someone said, and I probably could have, but I was a Newby Tank and Newby Tanks are nervous; we don't like to get in over our heads until we know how to swim.

We were almost halfway in when we grabbed several groups at once (I think someone got impatient and did that deliberately) and the AoE exploded. Fortunately almost all the Mobs in RFD are Melee (which is why I'd deliberately chosen it over SM for my Tanking debut) so it was easy to gather them up and AoE them down.

A few Mobs broke from the pack, but they weren't Casters, and in RFD the only Runners are Casters, so I selected a Mob and yes, he was targeting someone who wasn't me. I hit HoR and he ran back into the killing fields. I spun, trying to keep all the Mobs in front of me (can't Block from behind), while laying down Consecrate and popping HS as soon as it was up. More runners. HoR's not up! So hit Righteous Defense! And back they came. The AoE was filling the screen and then...it was over.

"I actually had to heal then," said our Priest.

I guess I really was taking things a little slow for him. Still, a wipe-free run is better than a fast, messy run with repair costs, at least in my opinion, but I'm a little conservative like that (as I am with most things in my life). This run was perhaps a little on the slow side, but it was also smooth (for the most part), and free of Wipes.

We hit Mordresh, the metal-loving Skeleton Boss, but before I could HoR him the Warrior body pulled a bunch of skeletons. More AoE ensued. Mordresh came down off his pile of bones. I hit him with an HoR while the skeletons around us exploded. Nothing could survive the AoE circle of death. I forget what Mordresh dropped but it was nothing I Needed.

We moved on and found Glutton, who dropped his Axe. The Shaman and I both Need rolled. He won. It was only a moderate upgrade to my current weapon so no big deal. I congratulated him and we moved on, fighting our way up the Ramp to Amnennar who dropped my Plate Helm. A horrible looking sky-blue Helm that resembles a Motocross Helmet more than anything else, but it was an Upgrade so I Need rolled. I think the Warrior passed. He was probably in his 30s and couldn't use it yet anyway.

I thanked everyone for the Run, and only now did I let them know it was my first time Tanking. There were general Thanks all around as the Priest offered me some words of advice.

"Remember you're a Paladin," he said. "Pull big! You're made for that."

"See ya," everyone said, and we all dropped Group and Ghetto Hearthed out.

I hit Stormwind and turned in the quest, "Bring the Light", which netted me the wicked looking Vanquisher's Sword. At 30DPS it's a significant upgrade over my Axe, better than Glutton's Cleaver, and is even a debatable upgrade over RFK's 2H Axe, Corpsemaker.

I Alt-Tabbed out to email my brother-in-law about my Tanking exploits but while I was tabbing back & forth (fact checking, I'm anal like that) I noticed he'd just logged on so I updated him in person (at least virtually ;)

I wanted a Fiery Enchant for my new sword but there were no Small Radiant Shards on the AH so that wasn't happening.

"How about Crusader?" the BIL asked, linking the recipe.

Large Brilliant Shards were a dime a dozen, but the Righteous Orbs were 45g each.

"Dude! That's 90g for an enchant on a mid-level weapon!"

"I'll do it for free," he said. "Where are you?"

As I typed "SW Bank" I began running from the AH to the Bank, and bumped into him coming the other way. "Well I was about to be," I said, laughing.

He hooked me up with Crusader then, wanting to complete the Quest "In the Name of the Light", we took off for Tirisfal Glades and the Scarlet Monastery, where I discovered when Crusader proc'd my DPS jumped from 75 to 95. Nice!

Shaun's 80 Pally obliterated SM Armory and Cathedral, and the two Instances provided me with a couple of upgrades, including a new Shield, a better-looking DPS Helm (off Herod) and a 2H Axe (for completing the Quest). I'm now in much better shape to Tank SM but first I want to farm RFD's Spider Boss for the Plate Chest piece he drops. With my new gear and the Crusader Enchant, if Shaun is not on tonight (19-hour time difference between us) I reckon I can Solo-farm him. And if I can't, I can always Tank it again :)

Pally Tanks

I'm level 42 at the moment (yes, I resubscribed, in case you missed that from my Phishing posts) and could respec Prot (I'm full on Ret, of course) or just shell out the 1K for the dual-spec.

From what I've read (& what I know of the Class) Pally Tanking doesn't seem too hard, I just haven't done it yet. Except for a quick Deadmines Run with my BIL on his 80 Pally I've solo'd all my Instances so far, including SM Library.

What I've been looking for are some good sites (other than EJ) or Blogs on how to be a Pally Tank, but pretty much everything I've run across talks about End Game and Tanking at 80. What I want is something to help me with Tanking now. I'd like to Tank SM, and I also want to do RFD so I can complete the Quest "Bring the Light", not to mention the Plate that can drop in RFD. The new LFG tool means finding groups for Mara and Dire Maul shouldn't be as hard as it used to be, and I really don't want to make either of those my first Tanking experience.

So, does anyone have any good sites where an up & coming Pally Tank could get some advice? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Funny moments in WoW

A long, long time ago, while running Kara, our Guild finally made it to the Prince.

After a couple of failed starts our Tank declared that after grabbing Aggro he was having trouble getting into the recommended spot to Tank the Prince, so I suggested he get into place and I Misdirect the Prince onto him.

As everyone moved into their appropriate place I cast Misdirect on our Tank, then slowly approached the Prince, who is a very big boy, and as I got closer to him he just got bigger & bigger. It was an interesting optical illusion that, from my PoV, made it look like I was getting very close to him yet I was still outside shooting Range.

When I finally got close enough for my skills to light up I discovered I was also now close enough to body pull the Prince, which I did. As I stared down the lion's throat I frantically stabbed at my Arcane Shot key, and just before I became the first casualty in Yet Another Wipe it fired, Misdirect kicked in, and the Prince decided he liked the look of our Tank better than he did me.

But as if to highlight just how close I'd come to being crushed, as the Prince turned away my Hunter took a parting swing at him. Yes, with his Axe. The Prince had been that damned close.

Yet another one.

This one fell into my Spam folder as well. Morbid curiosity piqued my interest and I was compelled to check it out:

From: "NCsoft Support (support@ncsoft.com)
To: Capn_John
Sent: Mon, January 11, 2010 11:43:04 PM
Subject: NCsoft Account Security Risks Notice

When you receive this message when your NCsoft Account means that there are serious security risks.
We have evidence to prove your account has been in different countries and regions, several attempts to login.
So we have to remind you to enter our web site as soon as possible http://www.sacuar-ncsoft.com/ to account verification, otherwise, we will be lock your account.
In order to protect your interests.

The NCsoft Team

Well, golly gee! If it's to protect my interests, then you just go right ahead and lock my account! Goodness me! Better to be safe than sorry, right?

I tried to email them back to tell them to do just that, but it seems I sent this email to myself and so when I reply to it I send myself the reply. Funny how I don't remember emailing this to myself...or being part of the NCsoft Team.

WoW! Do people really fall for this?

I was cleaning out my email & Spam folder and before I could delete the 7 emails in there I noticed one was titled 'World of Warcraft Account Notice' and appeared to come from wowaccountadmin@blizzard.com

At first glance, that's actually a rather impressive Phishing attempt, because I've only been resubscribed to WoW for literally 1 week. I figured it had to be Spam 1, because it's in my Spam folder, and 2, because it's an email claiming to be from a Blizzard Account Administrator.

I have HTML & images disabled so I had no qualms about clicking the email to preview it, and if the fact that it was in my Spam folder was not warning enough, the content of the email pretty much confirmed it, and I quote:

Greetings! dear players

Today, we are do all activities of the World of Warcraft accounts a routine check.
We have evidence to show that your account transactions involved in the disputed.
Please visit our web site as soon as possible to clarify http://www.worldofwarcraft.com otherwise we will lock your account.

Regards,
The World of Warcraft Support Team Blizzard Entertainment

Do people really fall for this?

I'm impressed that the Phishers are on top of their game and getting this to me so quickly after I resubbed, but Good Lord, people! At least learn to speak/write English if you're going Phishing.

You know, having just hit Submit on this, I recalled that just this very afternoon I logged into Allakhazam for the first time in months, if not a year & a half. I mean actually logged in, not just visited their site, and lo! I get a Phishing email. Coincidence? It's either Blizzard (which is possible) or Allakhazam which has been compromised. I'm inclined to think it's the latter.

District 9, and others

Per my request, Dammerung posted a small review on District 9, a movie I'm interested in watching, and after reading his review and braving the message boards at IMDB.com I'm still interested in watching it.

As I read more about District 9, including Damm's review, it somehow reminded me of "Meet the Parents", which was my wife's choice of movie (way back when we rented it). I had little desire in watching it but only did so at her urging, and while she was laughing at everything that happened to Greg Focker (Ben Stiller's character) I empathized far too much with him, so for me the movie was very painful to watch.

As the movie went on and as Greg's get-to-know-you with his prospective in-laws spiraled ever downwards, it finally got too much for Liz and she decided she'd had enough...but by now I was too emotionally vested in Greg and I needed to see him succeed. He deserved his reward for putting up with everything the movie's plot threw at him and I wanted to see him get it. So we watched the rest of the movie and it was as painful as the first half, but in the end that only made the ending even more satisfying when Greg finally won over Jack and earned the respect for which he was long overdue.

"Meet the Parents" also reminded me of another movie I saw a long, long time ago. I was maybe in 5th or 6th Grade, so 1980 or '81. I don't remember the title but it was a similar disaster-comedy movie with a teenage boy at a family reunion/picnic where absolutely nothing was going right for the boy. In one scene in particular the lad was lining up alongside his relatives at a huge picnic table to get his lunch. After loading up his plate the boy was pushed away from the table by the adults either side of him, who then moved together and closed the gap. And the lad was stuck with his arm wedged between their bodies with him on one side and his plate of food on the other.

I remember my classmates laughing at this movie, which confused me because I didn't think it was funny. If anything it was sad & depressing. Through no fault of his own the boy's day was being slowly ruined and nobody seemed to notice or care. I do remember that this scene was typical of the entire movie, and it culminated with the boy turning his plate sideways to pull his arm free. Of course my classmates laughed as the boy's lunch was smeared over the sides of the unknowing adults, fell to the ground, and was crushed underfoot. And just as the adults around him were oblivious to the boy's plight, nobody watching, neither teachers nor students, seemed to notice that one little boy was not laughing.

Empathy is a gift, and a curse.

Here today, gone tomorrow...

Back again next week, is the story of the life of the animals at the local shelter.

Last week, while discussing with the wife about getting a cat, I was looking at the kittens on the webpage for the local animal shelter, and there were quite a few, very cute kitties available for adoption. Today, not so many.

They'll be back next week. Not necessarily the same kitties but a new batch, although I'm sure some kits and pups will find themselves back in the shelter awaiting a new owner, this one more patient than the last.

We're not naive, we know what we're getting into, but other families who don't will either give up and if their pet is lucky, return it to the shelter. If it's not so lucky it will be relegated to a life outside where it's all but forgotten, and if it's really unlucky it will find itself going on a one-way trip somewhere that will result in it being throw out a car door and left to fend for itself.

Cats and dogs have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, even at the same time, although the experiment we're about to embark upon is going to be interesting. Our dog spends some days outside and some days inside, and some days she's in or out, but she always sleeps inside at night.

And we're contemplating getting a cat, a kitten specifically, who will also be an inside pet. Cats and dogs can live together as long as they grow up together. The dog is not the problem, it's the cat. Okay, it's the dog which causes the cat problems, but it's the cat which usually needs to adapt to the slobbering bundle of fur which wants to lick it or play with it or eat it, or maybe all three.

A Facebook friend posted a picture of her Akita with her two kitties.
It's very obvious from the picture that they're not bothered at all by the 120-pound bundle of fur. If anything, the cat closest to 'Stryder' wants to play with the big fella. My friend said play usually results in a very wet, slobber-covered kitty, and that reminded me of our old Doberman 'Jedda' and my sister's cat 'Munro' who also grew up together. Except for Jedda being five times Munro's size they had no problems with each other. Yes, Jedda had been known to lie on top of Munro and lick him until he was dripping wet, but despite the occasional tongue bath they were great pals :)

At her recent checkup the Vet weighed Willow in at 46 pounds. So while she's not a big dog (nothing like Stryder) she's also not exactly small, definitely not cat-sized, and yet I'm confident that as long as she doesn't eat the kitten, the two will learn to get along and become best pals. Eventually.

It's the period between 'Now' (or from when we get the kitten) and 'Eventually' that is going to be very interesting.

Facebook: A vehicle for propaganda

It never ceases to amaze me how people can blindly spread misinformation just because it sounds like a good idea. Because I "play" the Facebook game Mafia Wars, I have over 800 Facebook "Friends" (more than many, not as many as some), and so I probably experience this more than those who use Facebook for it's originally intended social/networking purpose. The one doing the rounds at the moment are the people updating their status with a message encouraging their Friends to send a card to A Recovering Soldier c/o Walter Reed Hospital (a futile gesture. Military installations, of which Walter Reed is one, are under orders not to accept any mail not addressed to identified personnel.)

It takes just a few seconds to verify (or refute) this information, about as long as it does to copy and paste the message into your Facebook status. Of course it also takes more work than a simple Copy & Paste, unless you know how to use Google's "Block/Hightlight & Search Google For..." feature, in which case it does take literally seconds to verify or refute the information you're about to pass on. But how many people actually do that?

Filled with good intentions it appears most people just blindly copy, paste, & forward the misinformation, and other people see it and say "Hey! That's a good idea!" and before you can step in to say, "That's a good idea, but..." it's too late; five other people have copied, pasted, & forwarded the misinformation. And twenty-five people will see the new message and pass it on, and that is how...

"A Lie can travel halfway round the world while the Truth is still putting on its shoes." - Mark Twain

A Bug? Or simply a lack of an expected feature?

Something really bugging me about Allods Online is being unable to Invert the Mouse's Y-Axis.

I've been playing video games for 30 years. I played Wolfenstein 3D when it came out (which isn't really a 3D game), and Doom (which was 3D) and I always, and I mean always Invert my Mouse's Y-Axis to play any game using either a First Person-view or a 3rd Person over-the-shoulder view (except Wolf which didn't feature Mouselook because it wasn't a 3D game).

Allods Online has an option allowing the Player to Invert the Mouse's buttons. I guess it's catering to left-handed players, which is really bizarre now that I think about it because there's probably a greater number of players who prefer Pilot Controls in their FPV-type game than there are left-handed players who would want to flip the Mouse's Left & Right button functions.

My question is this: Is the absence of a means to Invert the Mouse's Y-Axis a Bug? Or simply a lack of an expected feature?

My argument is it's a Bug. Why? Well what makes a bug? It's being able to do something you shouldn't be able to do, or not being able to do something you should, right?

Well, I should be able to Invert the Mouse's Y-Axis...but I can't. And IMO that makes it a Bug.

Not only is it a Bug, but it's a game-breaking bug for folks like me who are very, very, very accustomed to using Pilot Controls with Mouselook. It's game-breaking because being unable to Invert the Mouse's Y-Axis means I cannot play Allods Online. Well I can, but I cannot enjoy it.

Imagine asking a left-hander to play a sport right-handed. He can do it. He won't enjoy it, he won't be very good at it, but he can do it. That's what playing with "Standard" controls is like for someone accustomed to Inverted controls. We can do it, but we don't enjoy it as we're constantly second-guessing ourselves.

So, what's your opinion? Is the absence of a feature that you'll find in pretty much any game which features either a First Person or 3rd Person over-the-shoulder view simply a lack of an expected feature? Or when it's practically an industry standard to include a certain feature, could the lack of said feature actually be considered a Bug?

DIY - The Closet

Our walk-in closet has two sides (sort of). In the middle of the back wall is a narrow set of shelves, with two rods for hanging clothes set on either side, like so:

(as always, pictures can be clicked to view at full size)

When we moved in I got the right hand side, as evidenced by my sword and electric guitar (the box) sitting on the top shelf, while Liz got the left side. Not because she's shorter (which she is, but only by a couple of inches) but because the left side had two rods higher up, and as Liz has long dresses and skirts she needed the extra height. The lower rod on the left looks different from the two rods above it because it is; it's an expandable metal rod I installed when the two rods weren't enough for all of Liz's clothes.

For some time now Liz had been asking me if I could move her top rods up higher - to the same level as mine on the right - because her blouses and shirts were touching the bottom rod I'd installed, and because her dresses and skirts on the far left (already removed from the above picture) were sitting on the boxes we had on the floor of the closet and getting creased.

In my typical self-confident manner I looked at how the rods & shelves had been installed and said, "Sure, I can do that."

But it wasn't until this morning, when we removed most of the clothes from the closet and I got a really good look at the job ahead of me, that I wondered if I really could do it, because a few things concerned me.

The frame in the corner.
Could I take it out without destroying it. Could I get any of this apart intact? And if I did, what was the wall like underneath? Was it painted? Or had the shelves been installed before the painters came through? How were the shelves attached to the wall? Would I tear off chunks of dry wall when I pried them off?

There was only one way to find out :)

The first thing to come off was the left-most shelf and it came off in one piece, for the most part. The problem was the shelf had been secured to the frame by brad nails which rather than coming out with the shelf, tore through the flimsy particle board and remained embedded in the frame.
You can see several of the brads sticking up from the horizontal frame, as well as the damage rent upon the shelf by said brads. At least the damage was minimal and the shelf was definitely in reusable condition. That small vertical piece of wood with the unpainted patch at the bottom was next to come off.
It was attached to the wall by brads (in fact the entire shelf was held together by them) which this time I was happy to see came out with the piece of particle board, rather than tearing through and remaining in the wall, like the brad in the frame above it.

The corner frame was next, the one providing additional support to the shelves. I realized there was no way to remove it in one piece so it had to come apart in pieces. The frame behind it, the one supporting the first shelf I'd removed, also came out, and I finally got to see the condition of the wall behind it. It actually wasn't too bad. It was a little dirty but at least it was painted.
The last piece of frame came off equally easy and while many of the brads had torn through the two shelves, none of the brads remained in the wall or studs; they all came out with the frame.

And then we were halfway there.

I rebuilt the shelves in the reverse order, so the last piece of frame to come off was the first piece to go back on, this time several inches higher up the wall.
The second piece of frame is beneath the first, waiting its turn to be re-attached to the wall.

Along with the second frame I rebuilt the box frame in the corner. It didn't go together quite as well as it had been originally but it was good enough for government work.

Coincidentally I work for the government, but in a desk job. The marks on the wall below the frame show how high up it's been repositioned. With the frame in place the rest of the job was as easy-as-pie, in fact the only thing left to go back on was the shelves.

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.
There's a few gaps where the boards don't quite fit together as snug as they could, but some spakfilla and a coat of paint should solve that problem.
Then there's a couple of holes that will need a lot of spakfilla. This one is the biggest.
The two smaller holes to the right are brads (I re-used everything, brads included) that I nailed through from the other side in order to help support the shelf. I hammered them in at an angle, but as they went in they flattened out and came through the bottom of the shelf. They're still supporting it but I'm inclined to get a narrow strip of wood and nail it in place beneath the shelf as I'm not terribly happy with that shelf being supported in that manner.

Overall though, the end result is not too bad.
I'm reasonably happy with it, but more importantly, the wife is, and that's almost more important than my happiness, because if the wife is happy I'm happy :)

I'M IN !!!

Yes, that makes me happy :)

*edit*

It looks good but turning/rotation is not as smooth as I'd like. No, it's smooth, it's just...it's like the Playstation. IMO Sony doesn't do a good job with graphical rotation of the landscape around your character. Nintendo do, and Blizzard got it with WoW, but there's something just a little off with the way the camera and your avatar rotates.

Combat (at least for now, and all I played was the trio of fuzzy critters and their pink Pet Squirrel) seems to be Turn-based moves inserted into Real-Time combat. I have a base attack but it comes with a cooldown timer, as do all of my other spells. On the plus side, I don't seem to run out of Mana...I'm not even sure I have Mana. The downside? I seem to be watching my Hotbar a lot, and I mean A LOT! so I can press the key for the skill which just finished its Cooldown. It feels very whack-a-mole'ish.

The one thing I really didn't like was not being able to Invert the Mouse's Y-axis. I play all of my games with quasi-FPS PoVs (such as the GTA series and MMOs) like I play my actual FPS games, that is with Pilot controls for Mouselook. When I push forward on the Mouse I expect my camera's PoV to go down or "dive", and when I pull back on the Mouse I expect my PoV to go up or "climb". I've been playing this way for 15+ years so it's second nature to me, it's one of the first things I notice and one of the first settings I want to change. Currently there is no way to Invert the Mouse's Y-axis and it feels very awkward to be restricted to this. I can play with Mouselook operating this way, but I'd rather not. Oddly enough there is an option to Invert (Flip) the Mouse buttons, but not an option to Invert the Y-axis.

If you want in the Closed Beta is still open (an open Closed Beta?) for another week and it's been just a couple of days since I put in for a Beta Key. Oh, wait, not it hasn't. I put in for a Beta Key Friday last week when I posted the link to Massively's review, and I got my Beta Key yesterday. That's about a 5-day turnaround so if you apply for a Beta Key today you might get one by Monday (or not, or maybe earlier) giving you just a few days to try the game for yourself.

I also downloaded the Warhammer Online client as it now has a Trial very similar to that of Wizard 101, that is, a permanent, never-ending Trial but with access to low-level content only. But that's okay with me. There's a lot of characters and classes to try out in WHO (or WAR, or whatever its acronym is) so that will keep me busy for a while, and lest we forget, there's still DDO :)

I am soooo going to Hell

I've been in charge of the office coffee fund for a long time now, probably for 7 years or so. Lately (actually ever since our satellite office merged with the Main Office three years ago) I've felt we've been steadily losing money, and recently we've really been in dire straits. We've barely been able to pay our supplier (we have a Keurig machine and I buy K-Cups in bulk from a local supplier), let alone buy creamer, sugar, etc.

In conjunction with the Keurig machine we also have a drip filter pot, so every morning I'll brew a pot of coffee then some time during the morning I'll make a second pot. The profit margin on the pot should be quite high, and when combined with the 25¢ profit margin per cup from the Keurig machine we should be practically swimming in money, but lately, after paying our supplier, I've barely had enough money to buy supplies so I've been using the Just In Time inventory method.

Today I brewed a pot of coffee and I noticed the tub was getting very low. Once again we have just enough money to pay our supplier with just enough left over to buy a couple of tubs of creamer & sugar, but not enough to shell out $10 for a new tub of Folgers. In my 7 years managing the coffee fund this is practically unheard of.

When our two offices merged I inherited all of the Main Office's coffee supplies, and this included two tins of Folgers Decaf, one of which was still sealed and had remained so until this very day.

As I prepared this morning's pot and noticed the coffee was getting low my first thought was "if it runs out it runs out, and that's it." But then I looked up at this green tin of Folgers Decaf that had been sitting on the shelf for 3 years, and then I looked at the almost empty tub of Folgers in my hands. Then I looked at the label and I saw the tub held (when full) 48oz of coffee. I looked at the label on the yet-to-be opened tin of decaf; it allegedly held 39oz of coffee. I looked at the small amount of coffee still remaining in the tub. Was it 8oz of coffee? Was it more? Or less? There was really only one way to find out.

In one of the drawers I found a can opener (thank Orion for well stocked break rooms) and I proceeded to open the tin of Decaf. While it had been sitting there for 3 years (and Lord only knows how long before the merge), it was still sealed, and that's sealed in a tin, mind you, not one of those foil bags. So I'm pretty sure that even though it's 3+ years old, it's still fresh...sort of. Sort of fresh, that is, not sort of sure. I'm sure it's sort of fresh. Or is that still the same thing as 'sort of sure it's fresh'?

The can opener didn't work properly and it seemed to take forever to get the tin open. Fortunately I start work at 6am and I'd got in early this morning so my chances of being interrupted mid-mission were slim to none. But there were a couple of other people that get in this early, and I'd already seen them walking to their desks as I'd made my way to the break room, and one of them usually meets me in the break room around this time...so come on, can opener! I finally got the tin open and began pouring the decaf into the tub. It all fit, just, but a couple of taps on the counter packed the grounds together and settled them down to a less-than-suspicious level. Then I buried the green decaf tin in one of the recycling bins, way down deep, under all the other cans & bottles. Mission accomplished!

Yesterday we were down to our last carton of sugar, we were completely out of creamer, and we were almost out of coffee. Last night I bought some more creamer & sugar but couldn't afford coffee (not if I wanted to pay our supplier).

Today we have sugar, creamer, and most importantly, we have coffee. Decaf still has some caffeine so it still counts as coffee. It does, too!

I've "pulled a Carol" and switched the office coffee to decaf.

I am soooo going to Hell.

Police, small town vs big town

Oddly enough, despite what I was originally going to write, there's not a huge difference between the two. You get good cops in both bunches, you get bad apples in both bunches. I think there's a bigger difference in small town versus big city cops, but even then you still get the same make-up. You get power tripping cops in small towns just as you get nice cops willing to lend a hand in big towns.

Growing up in a small country town in Australia my experience with the police was probably different to that of my American "small town" counterpart, but probably also not dramatically different. I think the big difference between Australia and the U.S., at least small town different (and maybe it's changed from 20 years ago, too), was how you handled the cop pulling you over.

Here, you turn off the ignition, wind down the window (maybe just a little if you're overly cautious), place your hands on the steering wheel in plain view then wait for the cop to approach your car.

In Australia, my father taught me to leave the car and meet the cop halfway, between the cars, on neutral ground so to speak. I don't know if this was a country thing, or a family thing, but I had no problem doing that the one time a Cop actually pulled me over in Australia. Of course that same act also almost got my uncle shot when he did that here in the U.S. when he got pulled over for speeding. (Being an international businessman with a lead foot that was something that happened to him with some frequency.) With his hand ready to draw his pistol the cop apparently ordered my uncle to return to his car and put his hands on the steering wheel. My uncle wisely complied.

Before we were married my wife-to-be and I got lost visiting friends in Oakland. I convinced Liz to pull up on the Freeway behind a CHP Officer writing a ticket, and before she knew what I was about to do (she probably thought I'd wave the officer over to the car) I had the door open and was out of the car, strolling along the Freeway shoulder and up to the officer.

"Good afternoon, sir," I said, by way of greeting (or something similar, although I don't think I'd yet adopted the American practice of calling everyone 'sir'.) "Are you almost finished here? We're a little lost."

The Chippie was either brand new on the Force, or just stunned that someone would actually pull up behind him, get out of their car, and ask him for directions, because he made no attempt to shoot me. He replied that he was almost done and requested that I return to our car, which I did (and I suspect Liz probably chewed me out, I can't remember :D) and when he was finished writing his ticket he came over and helped us on our way.

A year or so later we were pulled over when the officer behind us noticed our vehicle's registration sticker was overdue. I knew I'd put the new sticker on because I'd already expressed my doubts to Liz about the safety of such a system. In Australia your rego sticker goes on the inside of your car's windshield, whereas here in the U.S. it just gets stuck on your rear license plate, exposed to the elements...and the first tea leaf to come along that wants a registration sticker, and that's what had happened to us. Some bastich had peeled the sticker off. (Or it blew off in the wind, but that's doubtful.) I forget exactly what I said but I attracted the officer's attention and he leaned over to peer in at me sitting in the passenger seat, so I told him that I'd just put the new sticker on last week. He not only didn't write a ticket for not displaying our registration sticker (although we did have the current papers in the glove box) he clued me in to taking my knife and making several slices across the sticker, jig-sawing it so no thief in their right mind would try to peel it off because all they'd get would be tiny triangular pieces.

Of course we've also been pulled over a couple of times and received tickets, which we've deserved for the most part. The one I feel we didn't deserve was what I'll call a "Tailgate Trap".

The bike cop was parked on the median strip on the far side of the traffic light-controlled intersection. The light would go green and everyone would accelerate through the intersection, which crossed a 4-lane (each way) Highway with two lanes in the middle for turning traffic, so we're talking a 10-lane wide highway. The first cars would get to the other side, see the bike cop, and do what practically everyone does when they see a cop; they'd hit their brakes and slow down so the cars behind them would bunch up for no reason other than there being a bike cop sitting in the middle of the road...a bike cop who promptly pulled the last vehicle over and ticketed them (us) for tail gating. After he wrote our ticket I watched as he rode back to the intersection and parked in exactly the same spot. If they have ticket quotas (and I'm not saying they do) I'm sure he wrote his entire month's quota of tickets that day.

Many years ago, a friend and I used to ride into town on a Sunday afternoon, ride down the alley, and climb the fence into the back of the Newsagency (the very one where I'd later find myself employed) where we'd go through their dumpster looking for magazines with no covers. (I would later learn that while some magazines went back to the publisher in their entirety, other publishers required nothing more than the cover to issue credit.) Playboy and Penthouse were always top on the list but we also kept an eye out for computer magazines. On this occasion we were preparing to climb over the fence when a voice asked us what we were doing. How a V8 can creep up on you without you hearing it I have no idea. We turned around and it's a cop car. My friend quickly tells the driver we were there because he needed to take a piss. Like a cop, who is trained to be suspicious about anyone not in uniform, was going to buy that.

Now me? I was brought up that when you get busted you're better off telling the truth or you'll only make it worse for yourself, so I told my friend not to lie then turned to the cop and told him we were planning to climb over the fence to look for Playboy magazines.

My friend chimed in again. He just couldn't shut up. "He wanted to look for pornos," he says, "I'm just after computer magazines." There's petty theft and robbery, and there's grand theft auto and grand larceny (& others). But when you're stealing magazines it doesn't matter whether it's Playboy, Penthouse, or PC Gamer, it's still stealing. Despite his protests I was sure my friend was not getting on the cop's good side.

I don't know if there are similar programs here in the U.S. but back home you could take your bike into a Police Station and they'd take out their little tools, look up the latest number in their little book, then stamp the appropriate number into the bottom of the frame of your bike & record your particulars in their little book. Then if your bike ever got stolen or turned up at the Cop Shop, they could see if it had one of these numbers stamped in the frame and identify the owner. My friend and I had both just got new bikes a few weeks before and we'd had them "registered" at the Cop Shop, so when the Cop asked if they were our bikes (if we were prepared to steal magazines we'd probably steal bikes, it's a logical assumption...and true, sort of ;) so it was a simple matter to show the Cop the numbers on our bikes and for him to ID us. After receiving a stern warning we were sent on our way, and off we rode, arguing over the semantics of lying and the difference between stealing PC Gamer and Playboy.

A few years later while at the local video arcade my neighbour rode up on what I knew was a stolen bicycle. I was in the office when he came inside so I had my friend, who also worked there, keep an eye on him while I slipped outside, jumped on the stolen bike and promptly rode it around to the police station. Unlike my previous encounter with the police, this time I was not averse to lying to the Cops, and I told them I'd "found" the bike down by the river. I gave them my name & number in the event that nobody claimed it, but they never called me back so I knew it must have found its way back to its rightful owner. I did tell my parents what I'd done and they thought it was hilarious. My Mum even got to play dumb when my neighbour's Mum told her about his bike being "stolen". Mum asked if he'd gone to the police, and she said my neighbour's Mum Um'd and Ah'd before saying he couldn't do that as it wasn't actually his bike. Mum said she found it very hard to keep a straight face for the rest of their conversation.

Dad used to love to drink so Mum, who was not a big drinker, was often the designated driver while Dad got plastered. Driving home from one family gathering we got pulled over at a Random Breath Testing station. The cop asked Mum if she'd been drinking and Mum said No. Dad leaned over and practically giggled as he said, "But I have!" He was in great humor and the Cop smiled, too. He was probably very happy to see the drunk guy in the passenger seat and not behind the wheel. Mum had to blow into the bag anyway but she got the all clear then we were sent on our way, but Mum was not happy with Dad. Years later Liz would be pulled over and breathalyzed while I got to recreate yesteryear's scene from the passenger seat. Like Mum, Liz was not too happy with me, either. What can I say? Like father, like son.

When I worked for the Newsagency, the same one my friend and I used to raid for coverless magazine, my alarm was set for 3am, I'd be at the shop by 4, and when 9 o'clock rolled around it was quitting time and the rest of the day was my own. Customers just starting their day were baffled that I could greet them so cheerfully at 8:30 in the morning. When I'd explain that I'd already been up for 5 hours they'd ask how on earth I could get up that early. I'd point out what a glorious day it was outside and how in half an hour I'd be heading out to enjoy it, maybe play a round of golf, or even hit the beach. For some reason they weren't happy with this explanation, and they'd leave the shop even grumpier than when they came in. I guess some people just aren't 'morning people'.

My first duty at the shop was not to open up, but to receive and count the fresh-off-the-truck bundles of newspapers, then make up & deliver the order for the local power station. Because the newspapers were always dropped off at the front of the store I'd always pull up at the front to make it easier to load the papers into my car, and I'd parallel park to facilitate loading, even though the space were marked for angle parking.

One morning I was inside when I noticed a light outside, and no, it wasn't a UFO; it was a Police car, pulled up behind my parallel-parked car.

Thinking the cops may have thought the car was stolen and abandoned I ran outside to let them know the car was mine, and found myself arguing with the cop over parallel parking in angle parking spots at 4 o'clock in the morning. As far as the cop was concerned it didn't matter what time of the day (or night) it was; the spots were clearly marked for angle parking and I was parallel parked.

"It's 4 o'clock in the morning," I told him. "There's no other cars around."

"But it's angle parking."

"I'm only parking for a few minute and it's easier to load the papers this way."

"But it's angle parking."

I recalled a friend getting busted for Public Indecency (& whatever the formal charge is that equates to "Pissing off a Cop by being a smart arse and talking back to him") when he'd taken a leak on someone's lawn while staggering home at 4 o'clock in the morning. When the cop had asked the almost obligatory "What do you think would happen if everyone did this?" my friend, a professional Gardener & Groundskeeper, had replied, "Well, speaking from a professional point of view, the excessive amounts of nitrates would kill the lawn." For answering the Cop's question he got to spend the rest of his night in jail.

"So what if everyone parked like this?" the Cop asked me.

"It's 4 o'clock in the morning," I argued with him, "there IS nobody else. If there were, I'd have angle parked."

I don't know how many times we went back & forth but we wasted far more time than if he had just said, "Don't do it again," and let me go on my way (which he eventually did anyway after ordering me to re-park correctly). Or yes, I'll admit, if I'd just said, "You're right. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

But it was 4 o'clock in the morning! I was the only car there!

But it's angle parking.

My final encounter with the police was when I was house sitting for a friend who lived in one of the better parts of town. Driving to work from his house I would drive down a very long straight road, and most mornings you would find me doing a little more than the posted 60kph (35mph) speed limit.

On this particular morning a car followed me out of my friend's neighbourhood. When I turned onto this long road he followed me and that was when a little voice inside me said "That's a cop."

I accelerated to just shy of 60kph and the car stayed right behind me but I wasn't going to go over the speed limit. I got to the end of the road, signaled correctly, and made the turn...and the car stayed with me. I was about two blocks from the Newsagency when flashing blue lights lit up my car from behind and finally confirmed my suspicions.

I pulled over and the cop pulled up behind me, and I did what you do NOT do here in the States.

I opened my door, hopped out, and walked back towards the cop car.

The passenger door opened and a cop got out and met me in the space between our cars.

"I'm on my way to work," I said to him, pointing down the road, "I just had two blocks to go!"

"And you almost made it," the cop said with good humor.

There was no ordering me at gun point to get back into my car. No hostilities. Just a cop and a citizen having a chat at 4 o'clock in the morning on the side of the road.

While following me down that long straight road they'd run my plates and learned that I did not live in that neighbourhood, nor did I appear to be going home, so they'd pulled me over to check me out. The cop ran my driver's license, everything checked out, and with no further reason to stick around we wished each other a good day and went our separate ways.

But that was 20 years ago, in a small country town. I suspect thing are a lot different now.

Allodds online

Yes, it looks a lot like WoW, but I'm not complaining about that. This video was taken from Massively's website/review.

Is it just me?

Am I just out of touch? I don't watch the news much because it's mostly doom & gloom and I really don't need to see an hour of bad news right before going to bed. Instead I rely on the TV in the bus, a discarded newspaper, my coworkers, or my mate who has his finger on the political pulse of the country (because that's his job).

But it seems to me that the current regime is a lot more of a one-man show than the last gig. Of course maybe that's because the last front man was a bit of a cowboy. He made for great TV, especially Late Night whose writers really loved him, but you also got to see and hear a lot about Cheney, Condy, and the rest of the team.

With the current group I'm seeing a lot of their front man but I hardly ever see anything from Biden or Hillary. I do see Hillary occasionally, but man! What has Biden been doing? Is he back packing through Pakistan trying to find Osama? Where is he? And who else is there? It's almost as if there's nobody on the team but the Big O.

But maybe the ubiquitous "they" like it that way. Maybe Obama is being set up to succeed, or fail, all on his own, which is smart politics if you ask me (and even if you don't).

If it turns out Obama is a success, his team will come out of the wood work and say, "That's our boy!" (Is it racist to use the term "That's our boy!" to refer to our black President, even when "That's my/our boy!" is a well known term of endearment with no racial connotations?)

And if he fails they'll still rear their heads - this time in mock horror - as they exclaim, "You did what?"

They'll either ride his coat tails to victory, or wash their hands of him, and if you've taken the fast track to the top, you really shouldn't be surprised when the ride down the other side is even faster still.