Retirement Homes

I found an interesting post on a Blog (I amaze myself how I find this stuff, sometimes) about outfitting Retirement Homes with LANs, to give the elderly folks something to do as they wait out the remainder of their days on this earth.

If you think about it, most Retirement Homes are very passive places. Old folks sit and watch TV, read the newspaper, or talk quietly among themselves. Or they sit & stare out the window as if wondering who will arrive first: Their kids & grandkids, or the Grim Reaper.

Several years ago I was out door-knocking (I think I was trying to raise money for a charity) and I went into a Retirement Home, thinking the old folks in there would probably be generous and willing to donate to a charity. But the second I walked in and saw all these old folks sitting there, waiting (& you know what they're waiting for), I changed my mind. But by this time I was already well inside the main sitting area, and one of the Orderlies was making his way over towards me.

I looked around at all the old folks just minding their own business and I asked myself what the hell had I been thinking.

And then I saw my Great Aunty. My Mother's Grandmother.

She used to live just a few doors up from us and I'd visit her all the time when I was a young boy. Then...I stopped visiting her. I can't remember why. Maybe it was because she'd been "put in The Home". (How cold does that sound? You "put your parents in a home".) Even though she'd been more of a Grandma to me than my actual Grandma, I hadn't thought about or seen her for years.

So I walked over and sat down next to her and re-introduced myself, because I had no clue if she'd remember who I was. I can't have been more than 12 years old the last time I saw her, and at this time I was a young man in my 20s. I explained how we were related, and sat and talked with her for a little while, although she seemed more inclined to chat with her neighbor than me, and why not? Who was I to her? Just someone who'd walked in off the street, really. I was just someone who popped back into her life for a few minutes, then walked out on her again. Like everyone else I left her there, out of sight out of mind, to be forgotten until...you know.

I'm sorry for everything both my parents went through during my father's last years, that it wasn't a Bam! You're dead! Now get over it! situation. But I'm also glad my father was able to spend his last days, weeks, months on earth in his own home, that he had the dignity of dyign in his own bed. That's how I'd like to go.

Or take one last walk up into the mountains, and not come back down.

Or would I be happy in a Retirement Home if it had a LAN? Would I be content fragging the shit out of my geriatric neighbors? Or would it still weigh heavily on me every time my kids left with my grandkids, that maybe this goodbye is our last goodbye?