This morning while waiting for the bus, a (what's the PC term?) Residentially Challenged Man wandered up, scratching himself, fidgeting, and doing things your typical RC person is wont to do, like slapping himself and yelling at things only he can see.
I debated (with myself) the merits of calling my local P.D. but really, what had this fellow done other than be Residentially Challenged? That really shouldn't be a crime (and I doubt it is), and while he did look like he could use the attention of someone who'd take better care of him than he was himself, would my local P.D. be able to satisfy that role in his life? And considering the Bus Station is under the jurisdiction of the Sheriff's Department, not the local P.D., my friendly, neighborhood RCM would probably end up just getting a ride into downtown and wind up a few blocks from where I work.
He wasn't hurting anyone, and didn't really appear dangerous, so I figured what with it being Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanza/Winter Solstice, why not just let my fellow man be.
A Metro Bus came through and the RCM got all excited, but this particular Bus was Not In Service so it just drove on by without stopping, and the RCM calmed down (somewhat) and resumed his fidgeting and pacing. Then a Foothill Transit Bus pulled up at the station and the RCM jumped up and trotted over to the door, but as this Bus terminated at the Bus Station the RCM was once again disappointed. Then my Bus finally arrived and everyone in line got excited, but the RCM was more so than most.
Ignoring the line of passengers he trotted up to the door and got lucky. Normally the Drivers of the Express Buses into downtown close the front door when they go back to check their passengers and make sure everyone has paid the extra fare to ride into town, but this morning's driver didn't do that; he left the front door open.
The RCM pushed his way in front of the first person in line and when the driver was halfway down the bus he made his move and leaped aboard. Taking a couple of quick steps he plopped down into the first available seat, and his new neighbor immediately switched seats. I watched as the Bus Driver got to the back of the bus, checked his last passenger, then turned and made his way back towards the front. Surely he'd notice RCM and realize he hadn't been there earlier but RCM's sheer audacity paid off and the Driver walked past him without blinking, or even wrinkling up his nose.
For gaming the system and getting a free ride into downtown, we salute you, Mr. Smarter-than-you-look Residentially Challenged Man!
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4 comments:
"we salute you, Mr. Smarter-than-you-look Residentially Challenged Man!"
ROFL, sounds like you may have an excellent idea for another one of those brilliant Budweiser commercials on your hands John! Is this man related to Mr Flip Flops?
I do post a lot of RCM and Public Transport stories, don't I? Seems like I should have an RCM and a Public Transport Tag for my posts ;)
If Mr. RCM is related to Mr. Flip Flops, it's certainly not by smell. While I didn't notice anything as I walked passed him to my seat, nobody else was in a hurry to sit next to him either. In fact when I got off the bus in downtown, Mr. RCM was fast asleep in his seat behind the driver. I'm sure the driver got a surprise when he pulled into the yard at the end of the line, and found he still had a passenger with him ;)
I drove my wife nuts when I taught our son how to sing "We salute you, Mr. Two Thousand Calorie Salad Maaaaaaan!" and it was all he sang for the rest of the day ;)
Curses. Now I'm going to have that "Another one bites the dust" song stuck in my head all day. :P
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